Warning: Homophobic slurs and/ or life threatening thoughts. Read at your own risk!!
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I got home from school and decided i should go see Stanley.
It's been about two or three weeks since i have talked to him.
I left and rode there.
When i arrived i looked at the house i once used to go to and cuddle with a boy all day long, my first crush.
I drop my bike and walked up to his door.
I rang the doorbell.
The door opened to a tired looking Stanley.
He was wearing gray sweat pants and he had a v neck shirt on.
His eyes widened and then he quickly opened the door letting me in.
He fixed his hair quickly and shut the door.
"Richie what are you doing h-" i cut Stanley off.
"Wanted to see you.. talk to you again" I said quietly.
"Can i?" he asked gesturing to hug me.
"Yes of course, Stan you know you don't have to ask." i said smiling holding my arms open for him.
He smiled and hugged me.
I hugged him back obviously.
"We have been distant" i said still in his arms.
"I know, can i be real with you?" he asked pulling away but keeping me in his arms.
"Of course" i said giving him a soft confused smile.
"It hurts.. to see you being so happy with Eddie. I know i'll get over it soon enough its just the "in love" part of me taking a stand" Stan said looking up at me.
"Stan, i know. I'm pretty stuck here too. I still like you! of course i do! i just like Eddie too and don't know what to do" i said as a tear fell from my cheek.
"Y-You still like me?" he asked.
"Yes of course i do stan, you were the person who made me realize who i am. I will never get over that." i said looking down.
He lifted my chin with his finger.
"Richie god damn you" he said leaning in and kissing me.
We had a full makeout session right there, tongue and everything.
He slipped his tongue into my mouth and i did same.
"Fuck, i didnt want this to happen even if i suspected it to" i whispered.
Stan just smiled and kissed me more.
His hands were on the sides of my face now.
"Stan i can't" I whispered.
"I know, i'm sorry" Stan whispered still keeping me in his arms, hugging me so tightly.
"It's okay Stan" i said running my fingers through his messy curly hair.
"How are you so god damn cute?" he whispered.
"And why the hell did i allow myself to fall for you even when i knew what was gonna happen." Stan said pulling away from me.
"Richie, it seems we can't talk until i get over you cause i don't wanna cause anything." stan said opening his door.
"Stan no it's better to talk to me so you can get used to the feeling" I said walking out the door.
"Okay fine but only because i know that even i cannot live without seeing you" I said stopping for a second and touching his lips where we had just kissed. "No matter how close" Stan finished.
"Stan i love you okay, i do. I just can't hurt you" I said confessing.
Yes, Stan is my first love or whatever it's called.
I don't really pay good attention to all the love things.
"Oh.." Stan said getting all quiet.
"Yes Stan yes. Now for the love of god, show up to Bills on friday at 4pm" I said smiling at him.
"oh.. what are we doing?" he asked in a confused tone.
"The whole losers club will be there so be there or be square" i said smiling.
He smiled and shook his head looking down.
"Okay Trashmouth i'll be there" he said smiling.
"yay!" i said leaving and getting on my bike and heading home.
Today was a nice day.
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Word count: 676
