Left Behind [Jungkook Fanfiction]

Nineteen

        I was standing silently beside Jungkook, my cheeks flaring a bright red color, visible to anyone who looked my way. My heart was hammering against my ribs in a hectic pace, my lungs finding it hard to catch enough oxygen. My eyes stared down at my not visible -because of my long dress- feet as my mind was running around desperately, searching for a topic of conversation to low the clear tension between us. I heaved a long, but silent sigh, dropping my arms softly to my besides in an attempt to free them from the strong hold of my own hands on them. I had been gripping my forearms as I had my arms slightly crossed on top of my stomach and they had already turned slightly tired of it. My arms were enough exhausted as they were. I had been painting so much these days, almost none stop. I would arrive from school to paint, bath, do my homework and then go to sleep. The same every single day, except for weekends. Those days I would be since six in the morning to almost five in the afternoon. I had been forcing my arms too much, my nerves were even irritated by now. And this caused a barley bearable pain whenever I used my hands to squeeze or grab something. 

        My brain had just found a topic that would be great to start a conversation, when I felt a warm thing close to my hand and then a long finger embracing my pinky loosely. It quickly drove me back to those times when I used to play with Jungkook's fingers when he had passed out on my couch after having lots of fun together painting and painting each other inside my mini art studio. There was a tiny pinching feeling inside my chest, like the feeling of accidently pinching yourself with a needle. The warmness of his hands was still there, but they were rougher and two times bigger than I remembered them to be. But it still made me feel the same as it felt back when he was still a trainee in the company.

        I looked at our intertwined fingers for a brief moment before looking up at him with an expression that showed both surprise and sadness. I already knew what he meant. He didn't say a word as we locked our gazes, a small, sad smile making its way from behind his lips. It was even sadder than the smile he gave me that day I last saw his face in person.

        I didn't know how to respond, so I just looked at him with sad eyes. I didn't feel like returning the heartbreaking smile, nor I was feeling like saying a word at all. Even if things were awkward between us, I had him finally beside me and I didn't want him to go. Not just yet, but I knew that he had no other choice. 

        Slight coldness took over my pinky once again when he let go of it, turning around and walking towards the big golden doors the building had as a fancy entrance after his smiled faltered. He didn't look back and I was slightly glad he didn't,I wouldn't have liked if he saw my expression at that moment. I watched him say something to his group of hyungs and walking straight out of the building without stopping by them. Taehyung looked my way and bowed his head to me, receiving the exact same from me. 

        Half an hour passed by rather fast, MaRi-ah coming once in a while to see how was I doing in my spot. She didn't touch Jungkook's topic. I knew she didn't like to see him here and specially seeing him with me. But she wasn't all bitchy about it as she usually is whenever the name Jungkook comes to discussion. She just got close to me and took a hold of my hand, giving it a light squeeze. She would smile reassuringly, mumbling how proud of me she was.

        After the exhibition came to its end, and the people that had been invited started leaving, I made my way out of the building beside MaRi like everybody else did. Jin Won was nowhere to be found, I had lost sight of him just after I arrived with Taehyung and Jungkook to talk to Mr. Choi. But as we got closer to where we had parked the car, I noticed he was leaning against the car, specifically against the driver's door. He lifted his head once we were close enough for him to hear our heels clicking against the pavement. I glared slightly at him, stopping him from saying whatever he was about to blurt out.