Complicated (First Book)

4 bracelets

I'm going to take a leap of faith..

If he does catch me I'm sure it will be fine. If he does that just helps me. "Okay, I'm going to jump right there. And you can make sure I get dont die," I say and he takes his hands out of his pockets.

He reaches up to catch me. "Jump," he says and I sigh. Here goes nothing. I jump expecting to get hurt but something else happens. When I land he does his job and catches me.

When my chest it pressed against his I freak out. I shove wat from him and cross my arms. He lookd confused at me reaction. "Thanks.." I say looking at him to see if I can see anything that tells me he did feel my chest.

He just looks confused that I pushed away instantly. "Yeah, anything. Did I hurt you?" He says looking at my crossed arms.

"Its nothing, well.. I have to start walking," I say awkwardly shifting in my spot.

"I'm going to pass his house, how about we walk together?" He asks. I nod and we start walking. I'm so ugly, can he see that I look like a girl? Do I sound like a girl?

Do I act like a girl?

Its quiet as we leave my yard and get on the sidewalk about to go in the direction of Vic's but a snap behind us makes me look.

I see my brother climbing over the neighbors fence. He's leaving the house because of our parents yelling. He sees me as he's on top of the fence. He flips me off and jumps to the other side.

"Who's that?" Oli asks as we start to walk.

"That's my brother," I say and pull out my phone.

No new messages, well duh. Vic's asleep. I put it in my pocket and  look at Oli. He's Looking at me already. A small blush forms on my cheek and I look away.

Why is he looking at me? "Do you normally sneak away from home?" He asks. Is he judging me? I frown and look at him.

"That's none of your business," I say and he nods a little.

"Okay, can I know why?" He asks. I think about it for a moment.

"I don't like being alone? Its nothing really. Me and vic have been friends for only two years but we are really close so I just hang out with him. You know?" I say as we walk in the dark.

"Yeah, I get that. I'm heading to the park, do you want to come?" He asks and I check the time but hardly ever acknowledge the time.

"How long are you staying there?" I ask feeling tired. I'm not comfortable and I dont really know if going to the park with him is a good idea.

"I'm not sure, it's pretty rainy," he says and I stay quiet.

"Well, why are you out here? Like, why go to a park at one in the morning?" I ask him and he chuckles and runs his hand through his curly brown hair. His hair is fluffy and soft looking. The temptation is strong to play with it.

The night is really pretty and half of the sky is full of sparking stars. The other half is gray and scary. "Um, well. Let's just say I'm avoiding something," he smiles and I see he doesn't want to talk about what he's avoiding.

I feel a little more comfortable with him. Knowing he has secrets makes me feel less guilty for having my own. We walk comfortably in silence to vic's house. When we get to his house we stop.

"Its a bit late and I'm not really dressed to be in this weather.." I trail off. I feel bad for telling him for not keeping him company.  He looks understanding. 

I look at my sweatpants and then Vic's house. I'm cold and its wet but I like Oli's company.. "but, Is been years since I've been to the park...." I look at the house and start walking and Oli smiles and walks with me.

"You sure you're not going to get too cold?" He asks. My nipples are hard because of the cold so I'm starting to regret this. My arms are secure across my chest.

"I'll be fine, I'm not a sissy," I say being stubborn. He smiles. What he says next wasn't meant to hurt me but it does.. it hurts way more than it should.

"But you do look like one," he says and when I don't laugh or smile he adds more to it. "Not like weak but like a chick," he says and I nod and go quiet.

"I- I'm actually going to go. It's too cold.. thanks O-oli," I say turning around and walking to Vic's house.

"Oh? Wait, I didn't mean that as an insult," he says but I don't listen.  My heart hurts. I look like a girl...

I go into Vic's house and go into vic's room. I lay on his floor inside of his bed.

-
On the ground I lay motionless in pain..

Emotional pain and physical because of falling asleep on the hard ground. Its friday night so I don't have to worry about school.

I get up and crawl into vic's bed. He doesn't wake up to my relief. I watch his peaceful face. Vic is so.. admirable. He's so happy and stable. I'm glad he's my friend.

-

This time when I wake up I'm almost have a panic attack. Vic's asleep but his hand is up my shirt right under my boob, resting on my ribcage. I shove him away and get off the bed. He turn in his sleep not knowing how uncomfortable he just made me.

Before he wakes up I'm going to go eat so I can clear my mind from this incident.