Complicated (First Book)

19

Is it bad I write this as soon as I wake up, through the day, and then stay up later than I should to write this?

I'm obsessed lol

It's late in the day and the house is quiet.. how do I even go about doing this? Was I doing it wrong last time? I lay on my back frustrated.

Do I need to be turned on? I'm never turned on. I just think of girls? Thinking about them doesn't do anything. I unbutton my pants and shyly put my hand down my pants. I cringe at the touch.

I need to think of something hot.. my imagination goes to Oli bowing up at vic. Ugh, stupid mind. Something else. Again my mind goes to when Oli pulled me down onto his lap after he had a nightmare

I let out a breath of air. Then my mind goes to me and Oliver kissing.. That was hot. But I was worried he'd feel my body. I move my fingers against me but I can't help but feel gross and uncomfortable.

Is this supposed to feel good? When rubbing does nothing I attempt to figure myself. Then my door swings open and both Oli and Vic are now looking at me.

I shove my hand out of my pants and squeal a little in surprise. Oli shuts my door quickly. I get up fixing my pants and running my hands through my hair. What the fuck? They just saw that..

At least I didn't have my pants down.. They didn't see I was a girl. A knock comes from the door and I feel embarrassed and ashamed. Also disappointed..

I can't feel pleasure..

"Come in.." I say knowing if I make Oli leave I'll end up avoiding him forever if I don't. Oliver comes in and shuts the door.

"I came to hang out but- um.. oh I found vic sitting on your pouch- so I- well like, maybe he was going to apologize? But I sent him home just now- because-," he's  nervous..

I blush and look him over.

His tank top says 'Wish I could ctrl+z you' that delete right? He's blushing and looking at my bed. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting you to come over," I mumble and he looks at me losing his embarrassed moment.

"How about you continue and pretend I'm not here?" He says smirking. I blush harder.

Touching myself gives me complete mind feelings. That sounds hot and if it felt good it would be a thing I'm into. But I can't seem to pleasure myself and I can't because my movements will give me away.

He walks across the room swiftly and grabs my hip and the side of my face. His lips go to mine and connect. I kiss back with a red face.

- Oliver's pov-

When I pull up to kellin's house I see Vic. Vic makes my blood boil but kellin seems not to like violence. He almost never cusses or ever hits. I heard his once get mad at Mike for smashing a misquote.

So I'm sure if I beat up Vic he'll be upset. Vic hurt kellin emotionally and that puts him on my bad side. Plus I can tell that Vic is in love with him. I don't know what he got mad at kellin for- I hardly know what he was ever complaining about but it make kellin cry.

Kellin has some serious secrets, he's hiding something. Vic knows it but I'm not going to get him to tell me. Kellin will tell me in time; if he feels like it.

I'm curious as fuck, but I understand how people are. I've got a secret
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs but I'm gonna keep it.
I know something nobody don't know.. Because like I said, its MY secret.

It sits in silence, eats away at me
It feeds like cancer, this guilt could fill a fucking sea. Now it feels like I'm falling and failing is all I know.

This disease is getting worse.
I counted my blessings, now I'll count this curse. The only thing I really know, I can't sleep at night
I'm buried and breathing in regret.

I push the thoughts away as I get out of my mum's car and go up to Vic angrily. He looks stressed but I don't care. "What the fuck did you to understand about 'don't fucking talk to him ever again'!?" I say and he flinches and stands up.

"I came to apologize and leave.. I just can't stand him hating me. What I said really hurt him and I don't want to lose my best friend," he says and I roll my eyes.

This fucking asshole thinks he can just show up and get kellin back? Well maybe that would help kellin. He doesn't talk about a lot of personal things but I know he hates that he can't go to the Fuentes home.

I grab his wrist tightly and go to lead him to Kellin so I can watch him apologize and then make him leave. Vic flinches as I do this but doesn't say anything. I go into the house forgetting to knock but it seems his parents and siblings aren't here.

I drag him to kellin's room and open the door. What we are face with makes me go from pissed to horny in record speed. Kellin lays on his back with his knees slightly bent and his hand is down the front of his pants.

His eyes were closed but upon my entry his eyes have widened in horror and his mouth parts. I shut the door quickly and drop his wrist. He has a blush on his face I want to kill him for it. "Go home right now or I'll bash your stupid face in," I growl lowly so kellin won't hear.

Vic nods quickly and rush away. Fuck I'm getting hard just knowing kellin was touching himself. It's kinda hard to jerk off like that. I wonder why he didn't have his pants off? The thought is hardly there. I'm to horny to question it.

I knock on his door softly and he tells me to come in so that's exactly what I do. I comes in and shuts the door. Then when I see how hot and adorable he is I feel nervous. This isnt like me..

"I came to hang out but- um.. oh I found vic sitting on your pouch- so I- well like, maybe he was going to apologize? But I sent him home just now- because-," I stumble through the sentence feeling nervous.

As I look at the bed he was once on I feel myself blushing. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting you to come over," he mumbles and I look at him losing my shyness.

"How about you continue and pretend I'm not here?" I say smirking making him blush harder than he was before.

I walk across the room swiftly and grab his hip and the side of his face. Then I start kissing his soft inviting lips.

Hheheh..

The next chapter tho..

What do you think Oli's secret is??

Did everyone have a good Christmas?