Complicated (First Book)

23

When we pull up to Oliver's house I'm still crying but not so hard anymore. Oliver is at my door in a second opening it and unbuckles it for me.

He picks me up and shuts the door with his foot. "I'm sorry this happen," he whispers and carries me to the front door. It opens and it's his mom. She looks worried.

"Oh no, what happened?" She says as Oli takes me in. I'm now hiding my face in his shoulder.

"Some asshole pushed him into a pool. I punched him in the face but if I see him again- Oh no, no. I'm hoping that God looks away this time," he says taking me to his room.

When he sets me on his bed I look at the floor. He grabs his blankets and wrap them around me. I grab onto them to keep them on my body. He kisses my forehead and makes me look him in the eyes.

"I understand you're upset but I want to help. What do you want me to do? I'll literally do anything to get you to smile again," he says.

"Hug me.." I mumble and he does as I ask but I don't move or hug back because I'm holding the blankets to protect me.

He moves so we are laying and he hugs me tightly. I'm pretty sure tightly, its hard to actually feel him because of the thick blankets protecting me.

After almost a hour of him hugging me and telling me about colors. He's just trying to keep my mind out of the darkness. He's taking about favorite colors and how everyone has a different shade of a color in mind when we say a color.

As I lay in all these blankets I feel respected. He's doing everything to make me comfortable. "Do you think of me differently?" I ask and he plays with my drying hair.

"No, you're still a cute boy who is absolutely beautiful in every way," he says and I find myself blushing and smilingly.

A knock on the door makes Oli turn away from me but doesn't let go. "Mum?" He says and the door opens and it's his mom.

"Mike dropped off these, and I'm cooking dinner right now so in a hour or so come down," she says giving Oli my clothes I remember leaving at Mike's house. "He also brought your wet clothes, I'm drying them now. Is there anything you need or want?" She asks me.

"No thank you," I say and she nods and leaves.

"Do you want me to leave as you change?" He asks and I smile at how nice he's being.

"Yeah," I say and he kisses my forehead before leaving.

When he's gone I get out of the blankets and take off the special tape that doesn't hurt. I get out of my damp underwear and put on my outfit Mike brought. The top is thin and short sleeved so I put it on and also steal one hoodie from Oliver's closet and put it on.

He didn't see my cut up wrists and I plan on keeping it that way. At least for now. I don't need him to know everything about me so soon. Well even if I told him everything about me physically theres still my mental secrets.

My family, brother, and sisters are all secrets. Not them but how they treat me and stuff that's happening between us. I also have secrets like how I can't feel pleasure. How I hate everything about me.

I'm full of secrets. My gender is just the worst one in my opinion. Once I'm dressed and more comfortable I grab his blankets and wrap them around me and open the door to see Oli leaning against the door frame.

"I'm done," I say and he smiles and picks me up. He takes me to the bed and puts me on it and holds me. I then do something that surprises me. I let him in the blanket so he cand hold me and not the blankets.

He does exactly that and pulls me closer. When my chest makes contact with his I tense up. "Don't be uncomfortable, I love holding you. Theses-" he places his hand directly on my left boob. "Dont make you any less of a guy. They are here so I accept them and you," he says and wrapping his arms around me once more and I try to calm down.

He just grabbed my boob and yet didn't make me feel bad that I have them... That's weird. I snuggle up to him feeling better.

Ahhhh I'm not single wtf help idk how to act

Oliver makes me comfortable in a way I didn't know was possible. I feel like me as I'm currently cuddling up to him. I never feel like me- well earlier when I got the tape I did.

"You're weird.." I mumble and he chuckles.

"How so?" He says and I sigh into his collarbone.

"Do you really still see me as a guy?" I ask again. He kisses the top of my head.

"I really do," he says and I believe him. This is a weird new feeling I'm experiencing. I'm not sure what it is but I want to always feel it.

What do you think?

Hhhhhhhh