Hamilton Oneshots

Stuck In Jail (S)

 Probably historically inaccurate 

Skit With the Hamilsquad!

No ones P.O.V

Alexander groaned as he was sitting on a bench with Lauren's, Mulligan, and Lafayette. A JAIL bench.

"This is great," Alexander said sarcastically. "I'm dead." he said while flopping on the floor.

"Ya know, when we were in MY car, and I was running the show I don't remember one single time we got arrested!" He said, shouting at his friends. 

"That's true." Laurens said while sitting up.

"Would y'all just relax?! We're all in trouble here!" Hercules yelled in frustration.

"Oh no no." Alex said, frantically shaking his head. "Nono! We're not all in trouble here!" 

They looked at him confused. Alex then pointed at John Laurens. "Your parents have four kids! They won't even realize you're gone!" Laurens looked down sadly but happy a little since he would get in trouble.

"Your parents don't even live in this country!" He shouted again, this time pointing at Lafayette.

"And your mom.... probably one cell over."(A/NThat probably doesn't make sense since Herc's mom didn't do anything) He said pointing at Hercules who just shrugged in response.

"So that just leaves me. I'm the only one really in trouble here." They all looked at him confused again, since Alex was an orphan. Little did they know he was thinking about Washingdad.

"Look, Alex. I'll be in as much trouble as you are as soon as Sarah's sober is up."  Hercules said, trying to comfort him.

"I will be deported." Laf said sadly. Everyone looked at him.

"They're going to send me back to my home land... the beautiful country of-" Laf said, only to be cut off by a guard opening the door and throwing in a phone.

"Ok, who's the ring leader here?" The guard asked them. "He is."  Everyone pointed at Alex. Alex glared at them and they gave him an apologetic look.

The guard sighed but gave them a dime, which Lafayette caught. "You get one phone call-" but before he could finish he got cut off. "To anyone?" Lafayette said, beaming. "One LOCAL phone call." The guard said sternly at Lafayette which made him frown instantly.

"So, who should we call?" Hercules asked. "I'd call Washington, but I'd feel safer in jail." Alex shuddered, thinking about how much trouble he would be in.

"I-Uhm... don't know my phone number..." Lafayette said, smiling awkwardly.

"I can't call Eleanor, tonight's poker night!" Lauren's exclaimed.

"No offense, but isn't every night POKER night for Eleanor?" Hercules said, grinning while Laurens gave him a death glare.

Everyone looked at him in shock before Laurens softly kicked Hercules in the shins.

(A/N a little role switch here lol)

"Oh I know! I'll call Eliza! Her fathers a lawyer!(not really)" Alex exclaimed. He grabbed the coin from Lafayette. (poor Laf, can we get a #stoplafabuse)

Alexander started frantically dialing the numbers on the phone. After he got the numbers down he waited for Eliza to pick up.

"Hello?" Eliza answered. 

"Eliza! Oh thank gosh you're home!" Alexander sighed in relief. 

"I was driving a stolen car and I got arrested." He continued. The hamilsquad facepalmed. That is NOT how you start conversations!

"My gosh! Are you ok?!" Eliza practically screamed into the phone.

"Yea I'm ok I guess... but I'm a little cold," Laurens had to stop himself from crying "BULLCRAP" because he just gave Alexander his jacket.

"It's lonely in the joint, Eliza." Alexander explained dramatically, all of the Hamilsquad glared at him. Laf stuck his tounge out at Alexander to which he scoffed at.

"Oh my gosh! You're really in jail! What if you never get out?!" Eliza exclaimed.

"That.. would.. really suck?" Alexander sighed.

"Yes it would Alexander, and I promise, the minute you get out of jail I'm going to prove my love to you." "Heh, cool! Thanks!" Alexander responded, totally oblivious.

Eliza sighed, "Alexander, do you even know what I'm saying to you?"

"Yea!" Alexander lied.

Silence....

"No!" Alexander admitted. Eliza sighed. "I'm we're gonna make love! You idiot!"

Herc looked disgusted, Laf was pretending to vomit, and Laurens gagged.

"Alright!" Alexander exclaimed before he hung up the phone and whooped.

All of them (minus Alexander) had their mouths hung open. Alexander looked over at them. "What?" "You two have a nice little talk?" Laurens asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Oohhhhhh yea!" Alex said. "You know what's funny?" Laurens asked him. "What?" Alex chuckled. "NOTHING BECAUSE YOU FORGOT TO ASK HER FOR HELP YOU MORON!" Laurens yelled, jumping on the floor to where Alex was.

"Oh gosh... you're right.." Alex said, after realizing. "Give me another dime." He said, holding out his hand to Lafayette, who just shook his head in response.

Hercules stood in front of Laf protectively. "We only had one dime!" He shouted. "We only got one phone call!"

"Oh gosh..."

Silence....

"Somebody give me a spoon, I'm going to dig my way out of here!" Alex said, frantically searching for a spoon. It took Herc and Laf to stop John from charging at Alex.