You're a Mind Fuck, Babe

Chapter 33: I Can't Seem To Get My Shit Together

It doesn't take long for Gerard to fall asleep and I slip out of his grasp. I head out into the living room and head towards my pile of clothes near the door. I pick up my boxers and slide them on. I rummage through my jean pockets and grab my phone. Ryan's phone number is smudged on my arm and I feel like I'm gonna get punished for having it there. I think I can read the writing enough. I punch in the number I think it is and wait for someone to pick up.
"Hello?" Ryan's voice says. Thank God it's him.
"It's Frank," I answer.
"Oh, hey, Frank. How did it go?" He asks.
"It went alright. Honestly, I'm a little scared," I whisper.
"Is that why you're whispering?"
"Yeah."
"I can meet you somewhere," he offers.
"That'd be great."
"Where are you?" He asks.
"Near the beer store on Main Street," I answer.
"Meet me at the 24/7 gas station and donut shop in about 5 minutes, okay?"
"Will do," I say and hang up. I pull on my pants and grab Gerard's coat. I scribble a note saying I went for a walk and I head outside.

I make it to the donut shop at the same time that Ryan gets out of his car.
"Perfect timing," he says, closing the door of his grey Nissan. If I had been able to afford driving lessons, I wouldn't feel this much jealousy. We head inside together and sit away from the windows.
"What happened?" He asks me while taking off his jacket, revealing a bright red neck scarf and hippy clothes. Maybe he wasn't actually wearing a Halloween costume yesterday...
"Well my boyfriend said he followed me to Brendon's last night and caught me fucking you but walked out before we noticed and... he scared me," I whisper.
"You're still whispering," he notices.
"He's scaring me," I speak up.
"How?" He asks.
"He just takes things too far and he has this closet I'm not allowed to look in and a past that I don't really know much about."
"Maybe start by doing some research on the guy before you start feeling afraid of him?" Ryan suggests. I shrug.
"I don't know if I want to. What if it's worse than I think?" I counter.
"You'll never know until you know. That sentence was pretty odd," he laughs.
"Can we get out of here?" I ask. He nods and grabs his coat, putting it on.

He drives me to his place a couple of blocks away. We pull into the driveway and head inside. He takes me upstairs to his room and I sit on his bed.

He walks over to me and straddles my waist. He pushes against me so that I lay back. A smell of strawberries and vanilla rises to the air as he leans closer. He starts kissing me and running his hands under my shirt before pulling it over my head. My hands are on his thighs, squeezing and rubbing them as he lifts his shirt off. I slide his jeans and boxers off of him, with his help and he goes back to straddling me. I start feeling his thighs again. I slide my bottoms off. He grabs my dick and slides it into him. He flips his hair as he lowers himself down. He moans as he lifts himself up and slides back down. He gets into a slow rhythm. He knots his hands in my hair as he starts kissing me again. He moans into my mouth and he tugs on my hair. Minutes go by pretty quickly and soon enough, I come at the same time he does. He gets off of me and lays beside me, panting. I look at his thighs and see bruises where I was holding him. He must have really sensitive skin. He falls asleep. I pull all my clothes back on and stumble out of his house. I make my way back to Gerard's with guilt in the out of my stomach. I left two guys while they were sleeping. I'm such a dick.

I close the door behind me as quietly as possible and tip toe back to Gerard's bedroom. I see that he's still asleep and I sigh. I crawl on beside him and lay down. Soon enough, I fall asleep.

I'm woken up by someone shaking me. I open my eyes and I see Gerard's junk in my face, I look up at him and laugh. I sit up. Gerard gets dressed and walks out of the room. He doesn't know, does he?

I walk out shortly after and find him pouring two cups of coffee. I grab a mug and take a sip of it.
"You smell different," Gerard states. Shit.
"I didn't notice," I shrug.
"Why do you smell different?" He asks.
"I went for a walk last night and I went through the perfume section of the store. Maybe that's why," I lie.
"I know when you lie to me, you know," Gerard whispers. It causes shivers to run down my spine as I gulp.
"I'm sorry," I mumble. I start to cry.
"I'm so sorry." He walks around the counter and wraps his arms around me.
"It's okay," he whispers in my ear.
"It's okay."
"I'm scared," I blurt.
"Of what?" Gerard asks.
"Of you."
"Why?"
"Sometimes you go too far and... And I think I might be falling for you and it's scaring the living shit out of me because I really don't even know how you feel about me and oh my god I sound like a fucking girl."
His hand is on my cheek, wiping the tears away as he leans forward and kisses me.
"You have no reason to be afraid," he whispers. He pulls me onto the couch with him.
"You're safe with me."

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