You're a Mind Fuck, Babe

Chapter 49: The Words Won't Come Out

Gerard kept the secret long enough for us to get on the road. But the road trip wasn't long and it didn't take long for me to figure out what it was. From the way Gerard was fidgeting excessively and just overly excited, it gave it all away. Mikey's little "idea" was just Gerard singing for his band again and I was just as excited to hear it again. Even when Gerard showers he doesn't sing so it's pretty rare to get to hear it. We dropped our stuff off at the hotel before heading to the venue where Mikey's band were headlining. It was a small venue that resembled a club but wasn't quite and they had two bands I had never heard of before. They were really great but I can tell Gerard has already overdone it on the celebrating.

We get back to the hotel and Gerard has a bottle of wine in his hands though he's already stumbling around from the alcohol he drank on stage. He falls down on the bed, spilling some wine on him.

"Frank! Come here," he slurs, a smile curled onto his lips and his hair soaked with sweat. I walk over to him and he pulls me into his body. I feel his warmth and smell the alcohol that is seeping from his pores. I take the bottle of wine from his hand and tilt it into my mouth, letting the liquid pour down my throat. I swallow it down fast, guzzling it. I leave it mostly empty before handing it back to him. He looks at me with a pout as he empties the bottle and let's it fall to the floor. He pulls me over him, pressing his lips to mine and the wine is so strong on his breath that it's almost as though I'm drinking straight from the bottle. I grind down against him and he pulls on my bottom lip with a laugh. He flips us over and pulls my shirt over my head. His lips meet my neck and he starts sucking at the skin. I push off his jacket and let it fall to the floor before moving to the hem of his shirt. I lift it over his head and he pulls my pants down. I slide off his pants and wrap my legs around his waist. I feel his thighs rub against mine as the denim material slips away. I feel the hair and warm skin touch mine and I tilt my head back and close my eyes. His kisses move down my jaw, reaching my neck as he leaves marks along my skin. He continues to move down until he reaches my nipple and he swirls his tongue around it. His hands leave my side to remove his underwear. When he moves back up, his eyes are trained on his hands as he lines himself up. He pushes into me and I bite my lip in response. I push my fingers into his back and he moans in response. My lip goes numb from how hard I'm biting it as Gerard moves inside of me. My mouth falls open and I groan, tilting my head even deeper into the mattress. Gerard leans closer to me as he thrusts in me, his mouth open and drool forming in the corner of his lips. His fingers rum up my side and it sends shivers to course through my body. My hair starts sticking to my forehead and my skin becomes slicked with sweat as the minutes pass by. Gerard's skin is hot and his cheeks are red. He scrunches his eyes closed and groans, pushing in harder. My legs tighten around his waist and my nails dig in harder. I get closer and I can feel heat pool in my stomach. Gerard tilts his head back, revealing the glimmering sweat on his neck. He groans and shouts my name as he comes. He rides it out a little longer before easing out of me before wrapping his hand around my cock and rubbing his thumb over my slit. I arch my back and come in his hand. He lays down beside me, panting and covered in sweat with a smile on his face.

We stay there for a few moments before Gerard gets up and pulls all of his clothes on.

"We should head out," he says.

"Are you able to drive?" I ask, unsure of it at this point.

"I've sobered up. Let's hit the road," he urges. I give in and we head out. We get in the car and we get ready to go. The drive will take a few hours so I let myself zone out. The car is full of sound and street lights but it feels empty of life. I hear the engine rev on the highway but I don't think much of it until the speeding up doesn't stop.

"Gerard! Slow down! You're gonna crash the fucking car!" I shout, my mind trying to find a way to stop this. If I touch him, I might make it worse.

"Gerard! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" My cries are becoming louder but it's like he's in a trance and he can't hear me. His eyes are glazed as he stares straight ahead, his foot pressing the gas to the floor. My voice catches in my throat and I can't form words anymore. My head pounds with fear as the road blurs. The only thoughts passing through my mind are I'm going to die and fuck why aren't we stopping. I hear my heartbeat in my ears and I taste blood on my lip as I realize I was biting it extremely hard. I can't snap him out of this trance like state and I can't jump out. My hands are pressed to the air bag and I'm trying to calm down. Oh god. We're gonna die. I hear a sputter and I see smoke coming from the engine as it overheats. The car comes to a stop and Gerard stays unmoved. I undo my seatbelt and start shaking him.

"Gerard! What the fuck?!" I shout. He turns his head to face me but his eyes hold no fear, there's no emotion at all in those eyes.

"I'm calling 911," I say, pulling my phone out of my pocket and doing as I said.

"911, what's your emergency?" The operator asks.

"I uh my teacher seems to be in a trance and he is unresponsive and I don't know what to do... I don't really know where we are. We're on a highway. We're in a black Volkswagen beetle and I don't think he's okay," I blurt, unable to keep the fear from my voice.

The medics show up and by then he's lucid again. Whatever it was lasted at least a few minutes but he seems okay now. However he is completely unaware of what happened and is cursing as smoke dwindles through the frigid air. They take him into the ambulance and I stay behind until the tow truck comes. Once it does, he drops me off at the hospital and takes the car to the shop where Gerard's insurance will take care of it.

-

I make my way to the assistant desk at the hospital and ask where Gerard is. I head to the room number I was told and see Gerard talking to a doctor inside.

"Seizures aren't a joke, Mr. Way. They're very serious. It might not be the first time you've had one because a lot of them go undetected. I want you to see a doctor regularly and I don't want you to combine your medication with alcohol at anytime, okay?" I overhear the doctor say.

"Okay," Gerard mumbles in reply.

"You know you shouldn't be drinking. Not with the medication you're on. You know this," the doctor says, examining his sheets.

"I know," Gerard replies guiltily.

---

We leave the hospital and walk out to the parking lot. The moon is out and the world seems empty. The flickering of the orange tinted street light illuminates the pavement our feet cross as we head towards Mikey's car. The cold winter air chasing the hair on my arms to raise and sending shivers down my spine as I wish for warmth.

"Gerard.. Wait," I say, stopping in my tracks, staying out in the cold awhile longer just to talk to him alone.

"Babe, please don't go overboard again, please," I plead.

"It's not like I don't know I overdo it. It's fine. I'm fine. I just like how it tastes, okay? I have been deprived of so much. Love and care and a fucking family so yeah, I drink sometimes but it's not a problem and it never will be. I'll be fine," he shouts at me. His words echo through the room and I feel my lungs as though they're about to collapse from the pressure in my chest. My heart is racing and all I want to do is be there for him but I feel so goddamn far away.

"Not a drop. Not one. I don't want to hear you pleading, I don't want to see you drinking. No more. Okay?" I whisper, my voice weak and shaky. He nods and I move in to hug him. I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest. He kisses my forehead and pulls back.

"Look, Frank, everything will be fine."

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