This is L.o.v.e. like it should be

XXXIV. Company's psychologist 5

"So, you went back inside to kiss a man, whose name you still don't know. Did I understand it right?"

"Yes, Paul," Ava replied a moment after a deep breath. "You did."

"Why didn't you ask his name? Does he know yours?"

"Is it possible that I don't want to know his name?"

Ava completely ignored Paul's second question.

"I think you just proved it is. But why is that?"

"I don't know..."

"Ava, how did you feel after finding out he was the one who gave you the dress?"

"Appreciated," Ava smiled.

"And after feeling appreciated, you felt the urge of kissing him. Why?"

Ava looked at him and tried to think of something. That was indeed a good question.

"I think I was grateful for being appreciated, for being cherished at last. It felt good to have someone looking at me in that way. It’s been a long time, since someone I desired appreciated me."

"A long time? How much?"

"Months... My relationship with Julien was getting cold before the end."

"I can see it wasn't just that. Please, continue."

"You’re right, I can't hide it... there was also a second motive. For some reason, Julien gets upset when he sees that man. I guess, the side of me who got hurt seeing Julien with another woman, made me throw myself into that stranger's arms."

"How did you feel during the kiss?"

Ava stopped to look to the ceiling and then closed her eyes.

"Arousal, desire... like burning in my veins. It was so intense and so wrong..."

"Why was it wrong? You both wanted that kiss, didn't you?"

Ava reminded how the stranger was holding himself back, until she asked him for the kiss.

"He was holding back at first...", she giggled like a silly girl and opened her eyes again.

"Why is that funny?"

"Isn’t it weird that after all that provocation with his games, he was holding himself back? I had to ask him to kiss me."

"What do you think it means?"

"Another good question, Paul."

"Was that the reason why it felt wrong? Because he held back and you had to ask for it?"

"No, not exactly. It felt wrong, because, despite my whole body being moved by the desire for that stranger, the memory of Julien's was still fighting the desire. And, when I saw the stranger fully naked, I had to run. I just couldn't..."

"What couldn't you just?"

"Betray myself, my feelings..."

Ava hid her face between her hands feeling embarrassed. Time was passing and she was still holding on to him. "How do you get someone out of your heart?"

"You need to forgive yourself first, Ava. You were not the only reason why it ended."