This is L.o.v.e. like it should be

LIV. Bad monday

"Ava! Ava!", all the yelling in this particular morning was killing Ava.

Ava was all dressed up. She was wearing a tight knee-high black dress, black high heels and a light red lipstick. She had never dressed like that for work or walked the way she was walking. It was like she owned the company.

Phoebe, the one doing the yelling, was running to catch up to her friend, while balancing a tray of coffee cups.

"Are you okay?", she asked reaching Ava. "I almost didn't recognize you, gurl. You’re looking stunning."

"Thank you.", Ava replied in an unusual tone.

Phoebe raised an eyebrow, wondering what was going on. This wasn’t at all like Ava.

"Hun, do you want a coffee? These are from the coffee shop you love so much!", Phoebe said, deciding to probe Ava a little further.

"Oh! Did you go there because of me?", Ava had a soft look on her face for an instant. For a moment, she was the old Ava.

"Everything for my gurl."

"Except the truth...", Ava thought. Then, she said: "There was no need."

"Take it, please...", Phoebe now had a look of concern on her face. Ava had never spoken to her like that, something must have happened.

Ava gave her a cold stare and firmly asserted: "I'm okay, thank you."

"Can we go to your office? I feel like we should talk. I'm not liking this."

"What do you mean by this?"

"Let's just go to your office."

"Okay.", Ava replied after a brief pause. After all they had been through together, Phoebe certainly deserved the chance of explaining herself.

They walked in silence until they reached the office.

"Ava, are you mad at me?", Phoebe asked, as soon as they set foot inside the office.

Ava sat on her chair, and placed her purse on the side of her desk.

Phoebe, getting impatient, insisted: "Well, are you?"

Ava looked into her eyes and said in a clear and cold voice: "I don’t know. Maybe I am mad, but above all, I’m disappointed".

"Disappointed? With me? Why?" Phoebe had a sneaking suspicion she knew why. It had been a long time coming, but it was finally here. Ava knew Julien had cheated on her when they were together, and she realized Phoebe knew long before she did.

"Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you knew Julien cheated on me and never saw fit to tell me." Ava tried to sound flippant, but the strain in her voice betrayed her true feelings. She was hurt and she felt betrayed.

"I didn’t tell you because you would never have believed me if I did." Phoebe replied, fighting back her tears. "You never wanted to see the truth, always finding excuses for everything."

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't that obvious? Julien was playing with your heart, because you couldn't be honest with yourself about his behavior. Did you ever confront him? Asked him why did he change? Why was he doing things differently?"

Ava kept quiet. She knew Phoebe was right, she should have confronted him. She should have told him what was bothering her, but she was always walking on eggshells around Julien, afraid of talking about anything that might drive him away.

"Ava, you knew it all along. I only found out because of your behavior. The constant sadness in your look... The rushing joy for brief moments when he was nice to you... You loved him so much, that you would rather close your eyes to what was going on, while hoping for the best to come. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I knew as soon as I did, you would never talk to me again, and I didn’t want to lose you"

"Phoebe, I…"
"Please, let me say everything. I have been waiting for you to wake up in your own terms, maybe that was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you.  So, I waited! I waited to pick up whatever would be left of you when the breakup happened and get you to stand again."

Ava was hypnotized by Phoebe's words.

"I think you are right... I probably wouldn't have listened.", Ava replied.

"I know I am... You wouldn't pick a friend over the person you loved more than you loved yourself."

Ava just stared at Phoebe. She was completely right. Ava had loved Julien more than herself, otherwise, how would she explain the self-illusion?

"Ok, enough. This is stupid!", Ava complained, the rage was coming back. She hadn’t slept a single hour after the intense encounter with Julien and she had to process all Phoebe had said. "I need some fresh air".

"I can go if..."

Ava looked Phoebe in her eyes. The look on Phoebe’s face made Ava realize how hard it had been for her to pretend during all that time. It must have been killing Phoebe to carry that secret, going against her own nature. All because she wanted to keep her friend close and help her once the nightmare ended.

"Wait!", Ava said before her friend reached the door. She then hugged Phoebe tightly. "You are the best friend I could ever wish for."

Phoebe couldn’t fight her tears anymore. "I'm glad I still have you!"