This is L.o.v.e. like it should be

XXXVIII. Coffee

Two days passed since the move to her own office, but the doubts about how she got that promotion remained on Ava's mind. The odd talk she had with Phoebe just made her doubt herself, did she really deserve this promotion, or was it something else? She needed to know for sure but adapting to her new position was sucking all of her time.

"Damn it!", followed by a deep breath was a constant behaviour now. While the supporting words of Phoebe granted her a measure of confidence.

"Work, work and then work some more." That idea was all she had on her mind when she was heading to the break room to get herself an energizing cup of coffee, fuel for her obsession.

Phoebe was supposed to meet her there, but, instead, someone else was near the coffee machine.

"Julien," she panicked and tried to go back unnoticed.

Ava had already turned away to get back to her office, when his voice, loud and clear, called her name.

"Ava!"

Ava froze.

"He saw me...", she thought, feeling the weird sensation of pure happiness, now mixed with guilt and panic, running through her veins, which only his voice could produce.

"Ava!", he insisted.

She sighed and slowly turned to him to give him a tepid smile, hoping he would understand she would rather avoid contact with him. The last thing she wanted was the whole office talking about her and Julien, especially when she was still fighting her feelings and everyone's suspicions.

"Come closer", he asked in a gentle tone like time hadn't passed since they broke up. And, for a moment, the smile he drew on his full lips remembered her of the good times they had together. Memories that made it so hard for her to move on.

Ava, with her back still tuned, closed her eyes. Then, she turned around feeling nervous and faced the wall to avoid eye contact.

"I'm busy...", she tried to explain, but her voice failed her.

"Sorry? Can you repeat that...?"

"I'm busy", she said louder and faced him, now feeling impatient and wanting to run away from Julien as soon as she could.

But he wasn't willing to let her go, so he said: "Please, Ava, take this coffee."

Ava bit her lips, trying to think of a way of saying no, without being rude to him. After all, he supported her promotion. But Phoebe's words came to her mind "he is just a jerk" and she rolled her eyes.

"You can handle it...", she said to herself, and now, looking at him she remembered the girl she had seen on his bedroom through the window, walking like she was in a catwalk.

It was very hard for her, but Ava kept repeating to herself "You can handle it!"

"Thank you, but I was serious about being busy." Ava said, marching up to Julien.

"I bet you were."

"Yes," Ava said, keeping her eyes away from him. "Thank you again, now if you excuse me..."

"Will you now be running from me at all the time?", he asked, making her to stop in her steps again.

Ava took a brief moment to think, wondering why it felt so hard to answer him...

Then he touched her arm and her heart beat changed.

"Will you?", he insisted, getting closer than he ever did after the breakup.

"I still miss you so badly...", she thought, feeling a sadness she couldn't quite explain, and her mouth produced the most honest answer she could muster at that time: "I don't know..."