Purple Violet Flowers: Book One

Chapter 50

Who am I? I always ask myself that, because I really don't know. My whole life was supposed to be a plan, am I a plan made to succeed in a wealthy family?
I haven't quite figured out that part yet either. What can I do to help me figure out who I am?
If that question were easy, I'd rather have myself figured out by now than to find out later in the future.
Sunflower looked at her luggage by the door.
Apparently, two days have already passed. Yesterday was a simple day. I stayed in here all day while the others came to check on me.
She looked at the clock. In about four hours I am leaving Pigeon Ocean. She turned on her phone, looking at the messages she got.
'Don't push yourself too hard, you can tell us whenever.'
'You made Erlen really mad yesterday.'
'I'm sorry if we did anything to hurt you.'
"It's not you, it's me." She muttered, as she stared blankly at her phone screen.
Am I really okay with this? Am I really going to leave without saying goodbye? Should I say goodbye? I think it'd be easier to leave without a trace.
I'd cause a panic and maybe a search party, so maybe I should just say goodbye to them in person. I can apologize and break it to them that I'm leaving.
How will they react? Last night Erlen was pretty scary, I wouldn't want her to act like that again.
I'll just.. Apologize first. This is my last day here, so maybe I'll also spend time with them.
As much as I hate that idea, I won't be that happy when I leave.
What about Jesse? I love her, a lot. I don't want to leave her.
She looked at her phone once again, she went on her messages and onto her group chat with the other girls.
'I have something to say, can we all meet up at the Cafe?'
She sent the message before taking a deep breath, she got up from the bed. She went on over to her closet, changing her clothes.
Once she was done, she went to her door, hesitating. She turned the door knob, walking out of her room.
Once she walked out, she saw Kate waiting beside the bathroom door. She gave Kate a low stare before walking along the hallway towards the stairs.
She went down the stairs, sitting at a table.
She sat at the table, staring at the surface. Am I really doing this? Maybe it was a mistake.
Footsteps were heard at the stairs, she glanced to see Gabby walking down.
"Did you get enough sleep last night? You have bags underneath your eyes." Gabby frowned and went towards Sunflower.
"That doesn't matter." She stated.
"I wanted to ask you about what all ha-."
"I'll tell you later." She looked at Gabby.
"I'll tell you all later, well whoever comes. Alright?" She says.
Gabby nodded and sat behind her, Sunflower looked at her arm. Her arm was bruised.
"Is that what Erlen did?" Sunflower asked the girl.
"Well- yeah, since my body is weak, it bruises up easily. It'll go away eventually." Gabby chuckled.
"Weak body? I never knew you had a weak body." Sunflower was confused but she soon frowned.
"Ah- I guess.. I never told you haven't I..?" Gabby scratched her chin with sweat going down her face.
"That explains a lot- but why haven't you told me before?" Sunflower frowned.
"I tried, a lot actually. But since you stopped questioning things like that, I just thought you already knew." The girl smiled nervously.
"This whole time I never knew.." She looked at the surface of the table.
"Well- It's not that bad right? I'm still okay. My mom always called me a tough girl. She'd also cry every time she saw me." Gabby smiled.
"I-."
"Did I ever tell you how all of us all met? I became friends with Aqua first, she was very clumsy and funny. After Aqua I met Jesse, she thought I was annoying at first.. But after Jesse I met Lavender, she wanted to fight me, but she didn't wanna since she found out about my condition. When I met Elisa she was more stubborn back then, she always ignored me. Hmm, when I met Louise she thought I was making fun of her. When I met Kate, she wanted nothing to do with me. She'd always ignore me and sometimes pushed me away.." Gabby smiled as she told her the story.
"Well, when I met Erlen.. You may not believe it, but I kinda stalked her. I always admired her so I stalked her, when we became friends it turns out she already had a girlfriend. Her girlfriend was nice in all but she had a dark side, I always thought that Erlen didn't deserve her so I took action and slowly made Erlen break up with her." Gabby explained.
"Eh? Really?" Sunflower was shocked. Gabby was so sweet and nice.
"Yep." Gabby giggled.
"I never knew a person could do that." Sunflower was amazed, but at the same time shocked.
"There's a lot I did, but those are stories for another time." Gabby smiled.
"Another time, huh?" Sunflower looked at the table, a saddened look appeared on her face.
"What's up?" Gabby looked at her with a worried look.
"I'll tell you later, okay?" Sunflower insisted on it.
"Yeah, sure.." Gabby says with an uneasy voice.
The door opened, the two girls looked at the door. Lavender, Elisa, Erlen and Jesse were all at the door.
"We had to drag her here." Elisa scoffed, the blonde girl was holding onto her arm.
Lavender's eyes were watery as she looked at Sunflower.
"Lavender, you look so sad." Gabby frowned.
Sunflower looked at Lavender before looking at the table.
Jesse made her way to the table, she looked at Sunflower with a worried smile.
"Make sure you get enough sleep next time if you wanna hang out with all of us." Jesse says with a smile on her face.
"Yeah, I could maybe do that?" She says with a worried look on her face.
Jesse sat beside her, looking at her with a smile.
Sunflower had a faint blush on her cheeks, she looked to the side.
I really do not want to leave you, you're so adorable. Sunflower put her hand in front of Jesse, looking to the side to avoid awkwardness.
Jesse held her hand, their hands intertwined. This is the last time I'll ever get to feel your touch, your hands are warm and soft.
She turned to face Jesse, she looked at her with sincere eyes. I could stare into your eyes every day and as long as I wanted if I were to stay, but that's impossible.
She leaned closer, cupping her lips.
Leaning back, she looked at a blushing red Jesse. She couldn't help but smirk.
"I can't believe you're okay with doing that in front of us." Gabby smiled.
"It doesn't really matter whoever I do it in front of, I just want to kiss her." Sunflower shrugged.
"Seeing them like that makes me wanna cry again." Lavender's eyes were watery once again.
Erlen glanced at them, looking away.
Kate walked down the stairs, peeking her head from the staircase.
"Oh- I thought I heard you girls." Kate went towards the table.
"What were you doing this whole time?" Erlen asked the girl.
"Er.. I was studying for the final exams." She cleared her throat.
"Great, you just reminded me I have to study. Are you happy sherlock?" Elisa gave Kate a dirty look.
"I gotta keep my grades up don't I?" Kate blepped.
"When we're in Grade Twelve we should all try to pick the same classes again." Erlen suggested.
"Maybe, that sounds fun." Kate shrugged.
Sunflower looked at the clock. Three hours and nearly thirty minutes.
She got up from the table. "Uhh- Maybe we should go outside?" She cleared her throat.
"No, you're staying in here." Lavender says with an angry look.
"Look, we really don't have much time-." Sunflower made her way to the door, she got stopped by Lavender holding onto her stomach.
"I'm not letting you go!" She tightened her grip on her waist. "Lavender- I'm being serious, we don't have much time-."
The door opened to reveal Louise and Aqua.
"Oh." Aqua stared at the two girls with a blank face.
"I expected you two to be mad at each other or something." Louise scratched her chin with a nervous look on her face.
"Oh no, I'm still mad at her." Lavender looked at Louise with a smile.
"But come on! Feminist's unite, we need to keep her in here! We cannot let her go outside at all!" Lavender pulled her back, Sunflower tried to shoo her hands away.
"Did you just call us feminists?"
"Why can't you let her go?" Jesse looked at Lavender with a smug look.
"Because she's gonna end up leaving, we need to keep her in here no matter what." Lavender frowned.
Sunflower flinched, she looked down at Lavender. She pinched her cheek.
"Ouchie my ouches." Lavender whimpered, she held onto her cheek while pouting.
Sunflower opened the door and walked out.
"We don't have much time left, but I don't want you clinging onto me all day." Sunflower sighed.
"Elisa, can you kick her shin or something?" She turned her head to ask the blonde girl.
"Will do." Elisa nodded and went towards Lavender.
"Wait- spare me you don't understand." Lavender backed away from Elisa.
"Let's go get parfaits." Sunflower looked at them and smiled.
"Yes, I've been craving for them." Kate smiled with both of her hands on her hips.
Erlen eyed her suspiciously as they walked to the parfait stand.
Erlen wasn't the only one with suspicions, Aqua and Louise were both confused as well.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to pay for all of them." Sunflower turned her head to look at them.
"Are you sure?" Kate asked with a curious look.
"It's the least I can do for today." Sunflower smiled.
"And I thought you didn't want to be friends anymore." Erlen rolled her eyes and looked to the side. Sunflower stopped walking, she looked at Erlen and blinked.
"I've given up on that, but surely today is an important day." Sunflower shrugged.
"Is it your birthday?" Kate's eyes shone as she looked at Sunflower.
She gave Kate a disturbed look. "Birthday? What kind of rubbish is that?"
"Wait- you seriously don't know what a birthday is?" Aqua was shocked.
The girls had confused and shocked faces.
"That was a joke, I know what birthdays are. I'm not that stupid, I just never celebrated my birthday before, I'm not really sure when my birthday is either." Sunflower explained.
"I'm not surprised- but like, the thing that concerns me is how you know your age."
"I only said sixteen cause I was confused, I might be seventeen or eighteen." She explained.
"If you're eighteen you'd be older than all of us." Kate frowned.
"That would make sense." Sunflower smiled and walked forward.
"Did she just call us dumb?" Louise asked, confused.
.
They all sat by the ocean, eating their parfaits.
Sunflower sat in the middle, Jesse and Elisa were by her side. Beside Jesse were Gabby, Erlen and Lavender.
On Elisa's side, Kate, Aqua and Louise were there.
Sunflower watched the waves go up and down.
"We never really did this before." Louise says as she watches the birds fly in the sky.
"It's very relaxing." Kate smiled.
Sunflower looked at the sand with a low gaze. How should I break it to them?
I wonder how they would react.
Lavender's reaction was pretty intense, but that's one girl out of eight.
This is gonna be messy.
"Eh, what time is it?" She asked the girls.
"It is.. Two thirty." Gabby says.
"Ah.. I see." One hour and thirty more minutes.
"So, is there something you wanted to say? You must've brought us all out here for a reason." Erlen says.
"Well, yeah." She smiled, looking at the sand.
Lavender flinched, looking at the sand with watery eyes.
"Well, before anything else. You all may be wondering what me and my Mother were talking about. I passed it off as fine, but it was the exact opposite." She smiled.
"That meeting we had.. Was to determine my future, and to reflect on everything I had ever done since I arrived here. I told my Mother about the things I did, but.. They weren't enough for her to be proud of me." She looked at the sand with a low gaze.
"It's just like, every single effort I try she just never bothers to notice or listen. Basically, this whole time I was sent away was just a trial. To see if I was good enough, and to learn my lesson. With the whole Lottie situation, I honestly miss the girl. It may be stupid of me to say, but I miss her. I spent my whole childhood with her alone, it's always been just the two of us together. We made so many memories, and promises together.. I just don't want to believe that she's become that kind of person." She sighed.
"I was supposed to forget the girl, and forgive myself for all of the bad things I did. I no longer blame myself for my Father's death, but my Mother is guilt tripping me into thinking that it was all my fault that he had died. But like I said in the past, she may hate me, but I still love her. She is the only parent I have and I wanna make her proud."
"The only problem with that, is that she won't listen. All of the efforts I did were all for nothing, she won't see that I have a good side- no, she won't come realize it. She can't come to understand that I'm working hard just for her to be proud of me, so I could become the proper woman she's always expected of me." Sunflower slightly chuckled, she looked at her shaking hands.
"It's really stupid y'know? Because I'm just wasting my time and just wasting everything.. Just for her too.. Be proud of me. So, that's why I've given up. I always thought that there was no point, and there truly is no reason for me to keep moving forward Isn't there? I just give up now, I tried, but in the end I just.. Hurt myself..." Sunflower felt her eyes become watery.
"Part of me still wants to try again, but all of this emptiness.. Isn't.. Letting me do anything." Sunflower felt a tear go down her cheek.
She heard shuffling, a shadow went over her.
She looked up, Kate put both of her hands on her shoulders.
"If she can't notice all the things you've done just to make her proud- It's not worth it! It's never worth it if she's never going to admire all your efforts- She's the worst kind of person, I don't care if you say you love her- I hate her, I hate her with all my heart. Look at what she's done to you! How could you say you love her despite all of this? You're really stupid- You're really, really stupid! How can you still want to do this?! She is never going to notice you- why can't you understand that?" Kate raised her voice, her hands were slightly trembling.
Tears went down Sunflower's eyes.
"I don't care how tough you are- but she is going to beat you to the ground no matter how many times you try. I thought you of all people would know that? You're supposed to be smart!" Kate yelled, her voice was shaky and painful.
"I know how that feels- okay? My Mother abused me and hurt me every single day- I understand what you're going through because I've been there.. Most of us have been there.." Kate chuckled with a pained look in her eyes.
"That's the reality in this, nothing is going to happen. I already know that and you should too."