DOUX DANGER ✓

III

3 // IRELAND
"we all have our ways of coping. too bad mines negative."

Jimin can officially say he's used to the children now.

the male thought he'd take a few weeks to be able to say that. Jimin looks in the mirror at the start of his day and begins to recall all the names. he remembers where they sit and the tone of their voices. he wants them to know he's starting to care in his own way.

he forgets some names but he's familiar with most. Jimin is proud of himself for becoming so closely familiar and oddly attached. he's the kind who doesn't like attachment and prefers to be distant to avoid fond memories. why get attached when everything is temporary? you can live without it.

the new teaching assistant greets every child that walks into the classroom. boys. girls. some greet back, some ignore him with sleepy eyes. the main point is that Jimin knows the kids and they know him, it's a positive feeling. he prefers the kids to the adults.

Jimin may be used to the children but he's not used to the staff members, not even the one he works with. he barely gets to see Jaehyun. so the lonely individual avoids the staff room and eats small snacks in the comfort of his own presence. sometimes, he goes outside for a nice smoke.

like today.

Jimin is aware of the eyes that watch him when he stands outside. he's stood near the school gate, painted in emerald green as he faces away. one hand tucked into his flannel trousers (borrowed from Jaehyun) and a button up, tucked in- paired with leather shoes that are torn. he tries not to smirk at the attention of the other adults, even the curious children watching him.

the stick of nicotine situated in between his fingers brings his anxiety levels low and pleasure levels high. Jimin feels better when he inhales, then exhales and watches the foggy smoke leave his lips and nostrils. he rushes a single hand through his brown, soft hair as it moves away from his eyes- strand annoying him as it keeps falling.

"sir? excuse me. you can't smoke here."

Jimin turns around as he moves the cigarette away from his lips. he strangely has the urge to blow smoke into the irritating lady's face, wanting to see her scowl at him more. "hm?" he questions obliviously.

that's when Jimin realises no, he really can't smoke here. he feels slightly frustrated but also understanding of the matter at hand. he notices the influenced children watching him and he winces at what they say. "we want to try!" they shout together.

Jimin bites the inside of his cheek, not wanting to waste his cigarette as he looks back at the older lady. "look what you're encouraging!" she remarks- surprised by his blunt style.

Jimin is about to stay at the gates but sees Jaehyun leaving the building with an unimpressed look. his arms are crossed over his chest, covered in a beige suit that fits him perfectly.

Jaehyun gestures and calls Jimin into his office.

"you need to take things seriously." Jaehyun sighs as he lets Jimin into his principal office. he unbuttons his blazer and closes the door. "you can't smoke in front of the kids." he tries to keep his voice down, not wanting the staff to hear their interaction.

Jimin knows that. he wasn't aware that they were even watching. "you don't think ive been trying to? i didn't know they were there." stupid kids. he sighs and takes a seat in Jaehyun's chair, smiling at his annoyance. he likes it when he acts like an older brother. "is there a separate area to smoke? i need to know." worry floods in his body quickly.

"i'm sorry man. just smoke when you get home alright?"

the day finishes and Jimin makes his way to the cemetery.

Jimin sits on the muddy grass. he stays silent because he has nothing to say. his mind is racing at a million miles per hour- he never seems to get a break. he just wants to breathe and forget but his thoughts are constant. so he simply sits in front of Namjoon's grave stone- his old, good friend, with a unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth.

i'll smoke wherever i want.