DOUX DANGER ✓

V

5 // FLORIDA
"i know your eyes. it's what i see in the mirror. you're lonely."

Jimin loves to be thrilled.

being thrilled is letting loose of everything that is tiring you. it's something he lets himself do often, knowing he needs the carefree attitude he's possessed, from a young age. thrill and looseness come hand in hand.

it's a late evening on a Saturday, he's alone like every day. Jimin has had enough of marking school papers. it turned out to be harder than he thought since he was a slight perfectionist and didn't want to make minor mistakes for the children's sake. he wanted to double check it too but his hand was hurting and he has pen stains on the smooth skin of his hands.

but as every minute passes, Jimin gets more and more frustrated by the amount of teacher work he has to complete in two days. it's a Saturday evening for god sake, he's usually out. doing what? that depends on what he finds acceptable and satisfactory...

what makes the young adult feel even more depressed and lonely is his empty box of cigarettes. Jimin's pretty head falls onto his desk, shirt running out of his pants as he stretches and a sigh leaves his pink lips. cigarettes are his best companion and that's all he needs. it's urgent okay?

the lost boy gets out of his apartment and walks down the hall. he's lived in the same complex for more than two years- he always tells himself he'll move but he never finds himself doing so. despite the loud music from his neighbours, the smelly corridor- it's close to where he needs to get to. he doesn't like change so he hasn't moved just yet.

Jimin just remembers how he wanted to move far away from his family- specifically his mother. well, he got what he settled for.

Jimin gets to the bottom floor, body emerging out of the lift as he's about to walk straight out of the door. he's stopped by a familiar, squeaky voice. "your rents due." he's told by the man who owns the ugly complex. he's heard the same three words several times- his rent money has always been late.

"you'll have it eventually." Jimin waves his hand, still walking- ready to leave. cigarettes, here i come! "i haven't been paid yet."

"do some more fucking work then."

Jimin rolls his brown eyes and plays with his lighter as he exits the apartment building. he walks down the late night streets, avoiding bumping into people as he walks silently. his dark strands of unwashed hair blows in the breeze- gentle and away from his forehead which gives him a sense of relief. it's not cold but it's not hot either.

everyone's out and about. Saturdays are busy days- the nights especially. cars are loud, people are loud but Jimin isn't loud, he doesn't want to be. a part of him considers going back inside and marking the kids papers. but he doesn't, instead he walks down the rain covered streets, no pockets to put his hands into as he bites his lip nervously.

then Jimin spots the convenience store where he buys his cigarettes from. he rushes inside, his heart smiling as he goes straight to the till.

the excited boy orders, like he always does and as soon as the box of cigarettes lands on his palm- he feels content and ready to conquer the world. but there's a part of him that wants to lie back on his bed at home, think about everything that makes him melancholically distressed as he chews on his tall pencil and inhales the nicotine.

as Jimin leaves the store, he lights a cigarette and feels a particular yet familiar sense of feeling in his chest. it tightens and he realises what it is. the thrill is calling him, urging him to spend the night out, having fun. we should all listen to our bodily signs right?

so Jimin does. he's going to let loose at the first place he sees and that is a gay bar with electronic, neon lights. he's been there before. he recognises the queues, the architecture, the bright, pink colours and the door.

Jimin took Namjoon there once. it was out of the gentle mans comfort zone but at the end of the night, they had fun and Namjoon thanked him as they both made their way home. they never did it again. Namjoon made Jimin see the small things in life- he made him enjoy staying in more than ever truly.

Jimin flinches when he realises he was thinking about Namjoon. damn it. it always comes unexpectedly. so... where do you go when you want to forget the racket of your mind?

Jimin enters the gay bar, winking at the good looking boy stood at the entrance. he hears someone else whistling at him and he can't help but let a smile take over his wet lips. he loves the attention sometimes, not all the time- it depends on his mood.

tonight he's feeling high.

Jimin makes his way to the quiet bar, cigarette box in his pockets with no intention of chatting to anyone or seeing anyone he knew.

that's until he sees her.

Serenity.

Jimin's chest tightens. he strangely feels a surge of joy run through his veins. everything comes flooding back into his memory. the night he told her that they had lost Namjoon, the depressing funeral, her understanding eyes, her quiet nature and the grief of someone they both knew staining their hearts. nothing but awful memories, so why does he feel happy to see Serenity?

out of everyone, her? what is she doing here?

agitated, relaxed Jimin stands at a distance. he doesn't want her to see him yet. then he realises- what if she doesn't recognise him? they didn't know each other well. they might as well be strangers who just happen to share the same, dead best friend who's presence lives on in their lonely lives.

Jimin observes the female he doesn't know very well. linked but somehow far apart in emotions. he's surprised he still remembers her and what she looks like. brown hair, brown eyes, pretty curved lips, a leather jacket and fuck, she looks tired. he would've thought that the amount of times he's hooked up with people would've blurred the image of another pretty girl out of his memory but here she is, spinning on a stool that looks weak- her body leaning against the marble decorated bar with countless drinks. it makes him chuckle because she looks lost too, like him.

Jimin can tell she's lonely. they have the same eyes.

Serenity's crying. no one else notices except for the boy with brown hair and brown eyes. their physical features match and he notices it immediately. Jimin follows Serenity's gaze to see that she's watching other people dance in the crowds.

lonely.

lonely.

lonely.

Jimin feels sadder inside when she drinks the burning substance.