DOUX DANGER ✓

XIX

the jimin to my serenity i know you think you're a mess of emotions but aren't we all. lots of love to you <3 (( Midiiplier ))

NINETEEN // NEW ZEALAND

Jimin drags his body to the door in the evening. someone's knocking and he can't be bothered.

the boy blinks in expectation when he opens the door to reveal tired looking Serenity. he's aware that she's been at work all day but isn't quite sure why she's decided to come straight here. why would she willingly come to this ugly apartment complex, he thinks and then realises, he's never cared what other people think until now.

but Sereniry isn't one to judge.

he may not know the female's usual, working routine but he knows she usually doesn't knock on his door in her formal attire.

Jimin's unbothered as he raises his brows and leans against the door. he runs his hands through his pink hair. "hm?" he mumbles and waits for her to explain why she's here.

her long day tiredness suddenly matches his. "i don't want to think. i don't want to do anything." is all she breathes out and Jimin automatically understands what she means.

"alright. come here..." Jimin coughs and pulls her into his apartment. she obeys willingly. he leans her against the back of his now closed door as she shrugs off her blazer.

his hands run down her bare arms, pulling her in by her waist. immediately, her hands tangle in his hair. "let me kiss you." he presses their bodies together as he relishes in how much she needs him. need me like i need you. he likes how desperate she is.

after a long, heated interaction, the two are about to fall asleep in Jimin's bed. both hold droopy eyes and hearts full of dreams yet all they can do in the darkness is look at each other. stop staring into my soul, you won't find anything. despite what they say and deny, there is something mystically special about the way they're wrapped in each other's arms as the moonlight filters through the blinds.

"sweet dreams." Jimin yawns.

"this is nice." Serenity yawns too.

"us?"

"yeah..." Serenity's eyelashes are felt against Jimin's skin as she lies beside him. the usually cold bed is now full of heat and Jimin expected it to be suffocating but he can't help but agree with the girl. "i feel safe right now."

Serenity's words make Jimin shiver, body clenching and he hates the impact of her. stop feeling like this, knowing too well he can't control his feelings. the topic and feeling of safety is one that is fragile, he can't believe she feels that way with him. why him? Jimin felt safe with Namjoon when he was alive, he knows what it feels like and it's a powerful thing. safety is full of trust that promises to help you forget the world.

"go to sleep." he strokes her hair and she falls asleep first.

Jimin just lies beside Serenity, watching her as she moves away unconsciously as their fronts face one another. the boy doesn't realise what he's doing when his finger trails across her face, stopping at her lips before he feels overcome with emotion. he leans forward and kisses her forehead gently.

then his pink lips part, the way they do when he exhales the cigarette smoke. but this time there's no smoke, just the smoke of his dusty thoughts and heart that hasn't been touched in what feels like a lifetime. he wants to be touched emotionally.

"life doesn't feel real sometimes." Jimin breathes out. his voice is the only thing heard in the dark silence of the room and the loneliness that sits with him eases when he looks at Serenity. "it feels as if i'm living an out of body experience." he tries to explain to no one in particular. it's a rare feeling, as if you're watching yourself as an outsider which is impossible.

Jimin freezes when he realises he used to talk to Namjoon like this. sometimes he'd be awake and offer advice. but other times he'd sleep deeply. Jimin's doing the same thing with Serenity- laying out his thoughts to an unconscious person who has no idea.

"this is okay right?" he asks rhetorically.

but the truth is, it doesn't feel okay because he's using her to forget.

his eyelashes flutter against his skin as he continues to watch her as she sleeps. he waits to feel something... anything. whether or not he does is private with him but it's obvious.