DOUX DANGER ✓

XXXI

THIRTY ONE // MADAGASCAR

Jimin likes the way soil feels.

in situations such as playing with the kids at school, his button up shirts get dirtied with the soil from the field. he likes how his smart appearances turn so rough. then there's the situation of visiting his dead friend. although, it scrapes against his favourite jeans, he likes the way it falls through his fingers when he's talking out loud. it's already destroyed and the way it falls is elegant. it crumbles but also forms, like him.

Jimin is aware that he needs therapy but he's sure that talking to Namjoon, with no answer in return is much better for his soul.

"what am i doing with Serenity?" he asks the question out loud for the first time. he's aware that he's overthinking too much which is odd for him. he's not the kind of person who thinks seriously in terms of relationships, he doesn't believe in the significance.

he lives life freely.

"i don't feel guilty. i don't feel shameful." Jimin speaks, blank expression on his face. "i actually quite enjoying being with her and that's the worst part." he punches his fist in the soil.

"we're just using each other." the boy breathes out, voice strangely weak as he bites his lip nervously.

"tell me it's bad." Jimin stares at the etched stone that holds a gracious soul's name. one that still echoes in his mind and in the deep caves of his own soul. "tell me that it's toxic and that we need to stop." he thinks about Serenity in the staff room, kissing her in front of colleagues despite their no relationship label, kissing her at the back of her car, her not telling him off for smoking, her teasing him whilst he's driving, her helping him mark assignments, her kissing his pink hair... just her.

no answer comes. there's just silence.

"Jimin." Jimin addresses himself. "it's toxic and it's bad."

"i won't listen to myself and neither will she. she's just as bad as me."

Jimin stands up in a rush when he spots two people from afar. he rubs the soil off his pants and pushes his fading pink hair away from his forehead. Namjoon's parents are on their way to visit their son. he starts to leave as soon as he sees them.

when he walks past, he isn't sure if they ignored him or didn't see him.

//

Jimin slams his lips against the girl's. she brings him back to the bedroom but he pushes her slightly.

"you need to leave now." he disconnects their lips, bringing her back towards the front door of his apartment.

"why?" she runs her hands down his chest and he remains expressionless.

"i'm kind of seeing someone else."

he doesn't know why his chest heaves up and down when he says that. he feels like he's not in his body when the words leave his lips.

he isn't exactly sure why he said it too. it's not true, or is it?

the girl immediately leaves.

later in the day, Serenity comes around.

she makes her way to the bathroom in a painful jog, claiming that she's about to piss in her pants if she doesn't hurry up. Jimin busies himself with cleaning up the room slowly, pushing her shoes to the side and placing her work bag neatly on the kitchen island.

the irresistible female comes out with a scruffy paper note in her hands and Jimin's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Serenity steps closer. "this is for you."

she asks Jimin to give her his hand so he obliges with furrowed brows. she opens up his hand, touch gentle as she places the pieces of paper into his palm. the boy looks down, reading and clenches his jaw when he realises what it is. it's the girl's phone number.

call me
smooches, Mena

Jimin doesn't bother to explain, he just tucks it away.

Serenity pulls him closer by his belt loops. she kisses him deeply, inserting the craving he's always had since he met her.  as she's kissing him, it's as if she's saying don't think too much or this will all feel too real.

so Jimin doesn't think and pushes her up against the wall.