DOUX DANGER ✓

XXI

TWENTY ONE // RUSSIA

Jimin's human.

he feels anxiety like every human being sure, yet he doesn't feel it as much as other people. he's aware that people get insanely nervous when a certain object triggers a memory, if they see someone they know after a long time, standing up in front of a classroom or having an interview. it's just different for Jimin, his levels of anxiety have decreased over the years and he doesn't get anxious anymore.

but today, he strangely feels anxiety.

him and Serenity are simply walking a longer way back to their houses. they live quite far apart, with a midst of thirty minutes but they don't mind the walk. time goes quickly when you're alone and lost in your thoughts. it's the weekend so they decided to grab some fresh air on a nice walk.

they just didn't want to be alone.

Jimin walks alongside Serenity and his anxiety builds up with every step as they near a familiar place. he bites on his tongue and keeps his sweaty palms inside his jacket pockets.

he doesn't notice how Serenity has the same reaction when they both realise what they're about to walk past. it's the graveyard where Namjoon is buried and it never changes.

Jimin hates how Serenity is different to him sometimes. although, they hold similarities, there are many times she does things he wouldn't do. right now, she stops them from walking and stands at the entrance.

Jimin wishes he could walk away but it's Serenity. he doesn't want to look through the brass fence to see large stones engraved with lost people. Serenity however, doesn't give him a choice as she looks directly at what gives them both a deep sadness.

"what do you miss most about him?" Serenity asks and lifts her hand to touch the brass fence. she doesn't take a single glance at Jimin now, she's remembering Namjoon. Jimin however, is forcing himself not to remember.

"i miss a lot of things." Jimin replies. his fists clench on either side of him unconsciously. he doesn't realise how hard he was trying to resist thinking about his dead friend. "i miss his uniqueness and ability to shine his light on others. he wanted to be remembered you know." he says quietly.

Serenity nods. they both remember similar aspects of Namjoon and what he said. although, they both knew him differently. he was never fake with anyone. he was genuine. "i think we all do." she mentions, glancing at Jimin as he takes out a cigarette to distract himself with. "whilst we're alive we put ourselves out there and create things so people can remember us when we're gone."

Serenity bites her lip nervously. her eyes rake over the many gravestones and she suddenly feels sick. every time she visits, she feels dread and flinches every time she touches Namjoon's. "it's difficult because we don't have a say in how people remember us." then a small silence forms.

"you're very wise." Jimin breathes smoke unintentionally in her face but she doesn't move away or flinch. in that moment, he knows he's attracted to the woman who was friends with Namjoon. "go on then, your turn."

Serenity smiles. "i miss a lot of things too." she leans against the fence, crossing her arms over her chest as she stares at her shoes. "he was very passionate and kind when i first met him. it may have faded during his last months but it was still there deep inside."

"i liked his energy. it was healing."

Jimin appreciates Serenity's words. she's right and he's glad she got to see the best side to Namjoon. although, he was close and friendly with many, he kept to himself and only opened up his treasure chest or fondness for certain people. Serenity and Jimin were just a few of the lucky people.

Serenity starts to walk away from Jimin suddenly. instead of walking after her, he simply watches her with no expectation. the said female goes up to a poor, homeless man on the street with just a teared, blue beanie and a rugged blanket. she gives him a few coins, directly in his palm before saying, "you're welcome." and walking away.

Jimin smiles when she walks back to him and he suddenly feels like hugging her. "i know why you did that." he admires her in this moment more than he has previously. "Joon would've."

"what do you think he'd think of us?"

both of them stay silent.

he'd be ashamed, Jimin thinks as he watches Serenity push open the heavy gates to the graveyard. she knows he doesn't want to come which is why she leaves without a glance back.