DOUX DANGER ✓

XII

TWELVE // MOROCCO

Jimin enjoys fresh air.

sitting beside his large, square window brings him solace like everything he's ever needed being given to him all at once. the crusty, white painting around the window is what he leans against as he feels the cool air hit his face. the window is usually always open, fresh air entering the apartment as he breathes out toxic air from his cigarette. the irony of fresh air being selfishly brought into his area as he breathes the opposite out into society and green nature.

he stretches out his legs in front of him, leaning against the window frame as he fiddles with his cigarette. Jimin looks down at the busy streets below his apartment building, fearful of the height but also excited.

Jimin's brown eyes flicker like the fiery flicks of the cigarette, inhaling, exhaling as he brushes his hair back. his eyes are tired, sleep deprived but wakeful of the life he's been given. the boy is still dressed in his nightwear that consists of old sweatpants. he cracks his neck, feeling calm in the early morning of the longing weekend.

"we've met before haven't we?"

Serenity's voice startles Jimin as he stays still physically.

Jimin's surprised she figured it out. he didn't know when she would. two linked souls with a mutual dead friend- did she see it coming?

the male watches her as she stands across his apartment, hand raising as she eyes the polaroid's on his wall. it's the only part of his home he's ever decorated and put effort into. photographs of people he loves or loved, hung up in photographic nostalgia on a piece of string is his idea of decoration.

"you should've told me."

Jimin ignores her. he avoids her question and continues to look out of the window. the sight of beeping cars, traffic lights and grey skies is what greets him back. Serenity is still gazing at his and Namjoon's picture. he's so high up, it feels surreal.

"we had a mutual friend." Serenity states, an ah leaving her lips.

Kim Namjoon.

"you were the boy on the bench." her face is expressionless, it makes Jimin feel intimidated for a second as he moves away from the window. his legs swing down to the carpet, hair flopping down on his forehead. a part of him wants to shut down this conversation by kissing Serenity but he doesn't. Jimin was the sad looking boy on his bench. he still remembers how the wood fell against his palms, the stench of the hospital. he was the one with the dreadful news and a cigarette who shielded him from reality.

Jimin was a stranger and still is.

"and you were the girl who stayed silent." Jimin replies. he remembers her just as she was. muted, sad. she's different now. no one stays grieving. she speaks, not about trauma or negativity but about things that lack importance and if he gave her the chance, she'd spill her heart out to him. they both know that.

"that was the last time we saw each other?" Serenity questions. she walks away from the polaroid's, arms crossing over her chest.

"you recognised me." Serenity points. the flashing image of the gay club reminding them of their meeting after years. "but i didn't recognise you."

Jimin looks back at her. her eye contact is too raw so he looks away, taking his time to puff his cigarette. "i don't blame you." he comments. "i wouldn't want to remember anything from those days." he then mutters.

sure he remembers. Jimin tries not to remember the feeling in his chest when the doctor told him the news, the long walk to talk to Serenity, how heavy Namjoon's coffin was and how he can still hear his laughter.

"unfortunately i do remember." Serenity looks away now. Jimin can sense that she's finding the slow conversation just as difficult as him, but it's needed. "i just knew you as the friend who found him." she whispers, walking around in circles- dressed in a loose shirt of Jimin's. he had to give her his least favourite piece of clothing.

Jimin flinches. the reminder hurts him. his reaction hurts him. he's glad Serenity doesn't notice his physical reaction to her words. "that's me." he bites the inside of his mouth, feeling sick. he's the one who found his dead friend. what did he do to deserve that?

"then the funeral was..." Serenity leaves her statement open as she looks at the ground, her bare feet above. what is she thinking?

many words can fill the gloomy atmosphere, of the mental image of the dark funeral. words of negativity, sadness and frustration can easily fill the bleak sentence.

the words horrible and miserable are heard at the same time. Jimin and Serenity both feel similar emotions towards the day they had both dreaded but prepared for.

the two laugh. it's a nervous, shy laughter and it makes them feel weird as they situate on opposite sides of the apartment. they act as if they've never touched one another.

Jimin remembers the funeral. he remembers how he looked like. his physical appearance was not professional as he threw on a rugged suit, on his lanky body. every button on his collar was closely shut, like his heart as he tried to control his shaking hands. his eyes remained lowered, not daring to look at anyone. it's not like anyone knew who he was. he wanted to cry but had to keep it together. a single tear had collapsed when he carried the coffin and he felt like it was going to fall on top of him, crush him into the brown soil.

"we were brought together by a friends death." Jimin says. the poetic nature of his words are surprising. Serenity clasps her hands together as she listens. Jimin can tell they're shaking but he doesn't say anything. "what brought us together this time?"

"i don't know." Serenity sighs. "i'm a different person with you Jimin."

//

black lives matter.
keep doing all you can <3 there's more info on my board.