DOUX DANGER ✓

XXVIII

posting all the drafted chapters. enjoy :)

TWENTY EIGHT // TURKEY

Jimin doesn't remember the last time he questioned his actions.

but now he wakes up with a hangover and he remembers everything. yesterday he told Serenity the truth about him and Namjoon, he waited for her to leave but she stayed, caressed his cheeks and made sure he fell asleep to get some rest. she stayed.

he's not sure why he expected her to look at him differently.

maybe it's because, he did.

he sits up in bed, duvet curling around him as he stretches out his arms. his hair flips onto his forehead, fading pink strands blocking his view until he realises there's someone in the room with him.

the light from the window glimmers across the figure as she sits on the leather couch. her legs are tucked against her chest as she leans her chin on top, eyes closing but still breathing in a regular pattern. she's just resting.

Jimin scratches the space between his eyebrows as he watches Serenity have her serene moment. he feels his headache ease just from the sight of her.

Jimin can't help his overthinking thoughts and bluntness. "do you see me any differently from last night?" he questions, voice hoarse.

"no, i was just surprised." Serenity replies immediately. it nearly makes Jimin jump in surprise as his eyes stay glued on her and her reactions. "i didn't know-" she starts again, eyes now opening. the eye contact is so intense that it makes Jimin clench his jaw and look away. i love coming back to reality...

"it was nothing."

it's left at that. Jimin and Serenity never discuss the truth ever again.

Jimin didn't talk and Serenity didn't ask.

the thing is, Namjoon's parents never knew about his sexuality. him and Jimin both admitted their crushes, unable to deal with the feelings that came along with their desire. the feelings stayed as feelings, with more knowledge as they never acted upon them. it broke Jimin to know he felt more, was ready to do more.

Namjoon blocked everything out because he knew he was going to die.

the two met at school before following each other to the expectations of going to university. Namjoon went and Jimin didn't. but the older had to drop out due to his terminal illness.

Jimin didn't go to university. he wanted to be so much, one of his options included being an archaeologist. but the truth is, he knows he didn't work hard enough. he had the brains to succeed but he messed around behind desks, with friends and chose the wrong path.

but he was happy, truly. he liked the decisions he took, still knowledgable and living enjoyably.

Namjoon was the only one he truly aspired to be with.

and now, there's potential to have something remarkable with Serenity. one day it'll be too late. but right now Jimin isn't sure, he doesn't think he'll ever be sure because how can you have something with someone when you're both trying to forget different people? when all you do is use each other? is that all there is?

Jimin lies back on his bed, fingers running through his hair. he reminisces the last party Namjoon had ever experienced. Serenity was in the same room as Jimin. he didn't know her and she didn't know him but they both made the sick boy very happy and alive.

Jimin remembers seeing Namjoon get teary eyed at Serenity playing his song. he remembers following him to his bedroom, knowing he was feeling overwhelmed.

Jimin remembers how Namjoon turned around, sweater clinging to his chest as he shone a dimpled smile. the song was still playing behind the walls and it was a lovely space.

although Jimin came after Namjoon to comfort him, the older started speaking to his soul. "Jimin, you're wonderful." he told him, fingers tracing the books on the shelves. "i want you to let the world love you back because one day it will."

"it truly will."