Prank Gone Wrong (Contract Series #1) (COMPLETED)

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

They say don't ever make a decision once you are happy, sad or mad because you will surely regret that after.

Mukhang tama nga yung kasabihang iyon dahil hindi ko alam kung tama ba yung ginawa ko. Kung tama bang sinabi ko iyong mga salitang 'yon kay Mark.

Tinakpan ko yung bibig ko at doon na nagsimulang humagulgol ng iyak. Pinipigilan kong kumawala ang ingay sa bibig ko. I don't want him to hear my sobs.

Napaupo na ako at napahawak sa dibdib habang yakap yakap ang magkabilaan kong tuhod.

I never thought that I could be this weak because of him.

"Don't ever think that I take you for granted because you're special to me. Don't ever think that you're worthless. That's not true, you're not worthless. You are important to me."

Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pang paniwalaan yung lahat ng sinasabi niya sa'kin. Ilang beses na 'kong umiyak ng dahil sa kanya. Pero bakit ganito yung nararamdaman ko? Bakit ang bigat bigat sa dibdib na ginagawa ko 'to sa kanya.

I really want to talked to him. I really want to hear all of his explanation and excuses but there was a part of me that stopping me. Gusto kong pakinggan yung dahilan niya pero mahirap na palagi na lang ganito yung sitwasyon naming dalawa. Kung nahihirapan siya, mas nahihirapan ako.

Hindi ko 'to gustong gawin. I had no choice but to avoid him in my life. I clearly hear his voice outside my room. Alam kong nasa tapat siya ng pinto ko. Kinagat ko ang ibaba kong labi para pigilan ang sari-saring emosyong meron ako. Tuloy tuloy paring dumadaloy sa pisngi ko ang mga luha sa mata ko.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry. Hindi ko alam kung ilang sorry yung dapat kong sabihin para mapatawad mo ako..."

"I-I said l-eave me alone. Umalis ka na!" Huminga ako ng malalim. Hindi ko alam na magkakaroon ako ng lakas para sabihin 'yon. Halos mamalat ang boses ng pinilit kong magsalita.

"Aalis ako pero hindi ibig sabihin na sumusuko ako. I won't stop until you accept my apology." After he said that I heard a few steps that means he's leaving.

I tried to act so strong but I wasn't, I'm weak. Minsan nakakapagod ding magpanggap na malakas ka pero ang totoo, kaunti na lang bibigay na 'ko sa lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

I've been so independent by choosing to live and away from my family. Pero hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko kakayanin yung ganito. It's been months pero parang sumusuko na yung katawan ko sa lahat ng bagay. I was physically, emotionally and mentally tired of everything. I don't know how to handle it on my own. Fighting with your own self wasn't that easy.

I go back on my bed and lay on. Wala naman akong ibang pwedeng gawin kung hindi magstay sa loob ng kwarto ko. I don't want him to go back at kulitin na naman ako. If I could stay here in my room forever, I will. I just want to sleep all day because in sleeping, I can't no longer feel the pain.

Ilang oras matapos ng pag-uusap namin ni Mark. Nakahiga lang ako sa kama at paulit-ulit na rumerihistro sa isip ko yung nangyari kanina. Kahit anong pilit ko na ipikit ang mga mata ko para matulog hindi ko magawa. Patuloy lang sa pagtulo ang luha sa mga mata ko.

I instantly get my comforter to cover up my body when someone knock on my door. I know that's Aileen and Chelsea because I heard them talking about what happen to their one subject. Kumuha ako ng tissue at pinunasan ang mga luha ko, inayos ang sarili bago ako tumayo at lumabas sa kwarto ko para pagbuksan sila ng pinto.

Walang sigla ko silang tinignan. They were talking kaya hindi nila napansin na nasa harap na nila 'ko.

"Oh, sis. Are you there na pala," Aileen stopped for awhile then looked at me in the eyes. "Bakit namamaga yung mata mo? Umiyak ka ba?"