Eternity [Poets Of The Fall] Français/English

[EN] 2 - Doubts (Clear Blue Sky)

Getting out of the building, the two men immediately saw their friends whose silhouettes stood out, dressed in black under a blazing sun. Marko, as usual, began to look around, watching the world, mute. The singer spends so much time thinking, questioning, rethinking his perspectives of life, death, humanity. He lingers over every detail, as much of the landscapes available to his blue eyes as of all the people around him, from near or far. He has always had a gift for analyzing and understanding people through their behavior. However, that morning, the eldest of the band thought again and again of the situation of the same day, a little earlier, in the bedroom. How to explain such a reaction of Jaska ? Maybe he didn't want to smile anyway. But if Sanni was responsible for it, the singer knew that it wouldn't take long before he would personally take care of explaining the state of things to her. He was worried about the brown haired guitarist. Of course, they both knew each other on the tips of their fingers and Marko knew that he too often preferred to repress his negative emotions, but in his opinion, that wasn't good. Today, under his sunglasses, necessary for his clear eyes against this overflow of light, it was Jaska he was looking at. Seeing him chatting with the keyboardist, a smile on his face, made him happy. He loved to see him smile. The tall brown, so mysterious and inaccessible, was no longer a secret to him. By dint of spending time with him, watching him,talking to him, by dint of hours spent playing together, learning, through their experiences, their days and their nights, with each other, Marko knew that deep down, Jaska was a gentle, sensitive and generous man. He was afraid to think that despite the impassive aspect of the guitarist, he could suffer too much from the insistence of his ex-girlfriend.

Under a look and a smile of the brown, the singer was going to move towards his two friends but a hand was placed on his arm. The singer looked away from the guitarist and smiled radiantly at Jani. Jaska couldn't help but gritting his teeth when he saw the bass player grabbing his friend. He rubbed his eyes. What the hell was wrong with him ? It wasn't him to be so irritated especially for these kind of details. He was certainly on edge because of Sanni and stressed by the tour. He stopped watching Marko, after all, what was wrong with him talking to Jani ?

"- You seem lost in thought, is everything all right ?

- Yes.

- Are you sure ?

- Yes, I'm only a little exhausted from yesterday.

- I see."

The keyboardist probed Jaska's eyes for a moment, but quickly gave up his business when he saw the other four starting to move away towards downtown. He invited the guitarist to follow him, while he finally came out of his thoughts.

As the six men walked along in their playful conversations, Marko's smile faded noticeably when he saw Jaska pass him. He had a moment of absence, of inattention, although Jani spoke to him, questioned by this sudden solitude of the brown. Soon, the singer and bass player were joined by Markus who, judging by his look at the brown guitarist, was just as intrigued by his attitude. Marko, drawn into the discussion of the other two, didn't want to give them the feeling of abandoning them if he took advantage of the moment to move away a little and approach Jaska. Besides, he didn't want to risk upsetting Jani, for whom he might not necessarily be a friend. For him, the relationship they had was more or less like a kind of friendship that could be described as improved. Together, they spent many evenings and nights, enjoying together, intimate and loving. Marko had a lot of affection for Jani, but in his eyes, he knew it, it went beyond affection. Of course, he couldn't have said that it was love, he doubted it himself without knowing how to the truth, but basically what could he say about love ? He had never felt comfortable, trapped in overly exclusive or overly restrictive relationships. A deeply lonely man, eager for experiences, new things and discoveries, curious about the world and people, he had never really been able to settle permanently in a relationship with anyone. If nevertheless he happened to envy those who knew how to love in this way because often he felt the envy of such a link, he doubted how to achieve it. And yet, to be completely honest, he had already wondered if this desire for love was not the reason why, despite the non-reciprocity of what Jani seemed to seek, he continued to keep with him the same proximity and intimity. Maybe he was afraid of being alone. Perhaps he was afraid of being with someone.