You Are On My Mind

I Wanna Hear You Laugh

Danny Reagan remembered the first time he heard his wife laugh. He had been standing by his locker, with his friend Jimmy. They had been talking about cars or baseball, Danny couldn't remember. All he remembered was stopping mid-sentence when a pretty blonde girl laughed as she walked by. Her laugh was light and full, and it bounced off the air.
Danny remembered the first time he saw his wife laughing. Her lips had curled into a huge, toothy grin, the corners of her eyes crinkled. Her blue eyes sparkled as her cheeks flushed. He couldn't help the huge smile that spread across his face.
Danny remembered the first time his wife did her "yelp-laugh". It was the first time they had had rough sex. He pummeled into her, and she gave a yelp. He was ready to stop at the drop of a hat if she was uncomfortable; but she laughed instead. She gripped his shoulders, tipped her head back, and laughed.
Danny remembered the first time his wife laughed when she told him they were expecting Jack. He was having a completely rotten day when she came walking into the precinct, an extra bounce in her step. She had pulled him aside, stumbled over the words as she talked with her hands. He had to ask if she was sure, and she nodded, giggling and smiling widely. She had the same reaction when she found out she was pregnant with Sean.
Now Danny frowned; he hadn't heard her laugh for months. She was quiet and sad and withdrawn. He wanted to help her; he wanted to see her smile, to hear her laugh. But he didn't know how. It was October, five months since the terrible accident. He wished he could gather her in his arms, kiss her sorrows away, and promise everything would get better. He knew ptsd didn't work that way.
*************
It had happened. Finally, Linda had exploded. She yelled at the family, her voice cracking. The silence that followed was unbearable. She excused herself and went to her safe haven- the garden. She could think in the garden; the serenity proved very helpful in getting her emotions back to earth. She hugged herself as the cold October breeze whipped her hair. Her bottom lip slid between her teeth as she started crying. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she sunk to the cool ground. She shuddered as her body was racked with sobs. She felt a blanket or coat draped over her shoulders and someone sit next to her. She didn't care who it was- she just needed them to hug her. She crumpled in their arms, and realized it was her husband. She inhaled his scent as he wrapped his arms tighter around her. He whispered in her hair, kissed her forehead, rubbed her back.
Linda wasn't sure how long she had cried when her sobs subsided. She closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth, her nose too clogged.
"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry," Danny whispered, cradling her head.
"I just wan' all this to be over!.... maybe I shoulda died," she whispered so quietly, Danny didn't know if she knew she had said it.
"Linda Reagan!" He pulled back, "I don't ever wanna hear you talk like that-"
"But everything would be better! I wouldn't be broken and you wouldn't be so mad and the family wouldn't hate me and you wouldn't-" she was stopped by Danny's lips. He kissed her like he had never done before. He kissed her long and hard, pouring all of his love, devotion, admiration, trust, and any other feeling he had for or towards his wife. When he pulled back, her lips were slightly swollen.
"That is not true. I love you so much. You have no idea how much love I have for you. You're the bravest, smartest, prettiest, sexiest, kindest, brightest, strongest person I know. And I'm not just saying that because I have to. I'm telling you because it's true. I, Danny Reagan, love you, Linda Reagan. And I wanna see you smile again. I wanna hear you laugh. I wanna see those beautiful blue eyes sparkle. I wanna see those adorable teeth of yours. I want you to get better. And I'm gonna help you. What can I do?"
Linda felt new tears coming, but they weren't sad tears. They were happy tears, filled with love for her husband. "Never leave?"
"Never ever." He held her tightly once again. The wind blew and he felt her shiver, "Come on. Let's get you inside."
Linda let Danny help her up. He put his arm around her waist as they walked into the warm home. "Danny?"
"Hm?"
She stopped, making him stop. She watched his features turn to concerned. Slowly, she showed him her teeth, "I love you."
He smiled widely, "I love you more."
Her eyes sparkled as she shook her head. "I love you most." She walked back into his embrace, feeling a lot better than she had in months.
Danny moved his hand to her butt and quickly slapped it. His smile grew (if that was even possible) as she let out a laugh. It was going to be a bumpy road, but he knew they would make it. After all, to quote one of Linda's favorite movies, 'it's true love. Do you think this happens everyday?'