You Are On My Mind

It's Going To Be Okay

Linda sat next to Frank on the couch. All was quiet and it killed her. She wanted to say something but she didn't know what to say.
"How're you?" Frank spoke first. "I know that you've been a rock for all of us, and sometimes that means you can't grieve."
"I'm okay." Linda said, then sighed. "No, I'm not okay. I'm dealing. It's hard though, cause the kids don't really understand it... how are you?" She reached over and grasped his hand.
Frank ran a thumb along her hand and she briefly wondered if that's where Danny learned it, "I have no idea. She was okay. She was getting better. She looked better. And then... then she wasn't." He swallowed thickly. "Now she's not here, and every time I do something... I think Mary will never ever do that again."
"Yes, she will, Frank. She's smiling at us right now."
He put an arm around her, "when did you get so smart?"
She shrugged, "I tell Danny that a lot."
"How's he doing?"
"Terrible. Why on earth would they want him back in two days? He's not mentally stable!"
"The military isn't very sympathetic. He's lucky they let him stay til after the funeral."
"I better get home. Danny's there and.... he's not going to hurt Jack or Sean, he would never. But..."
Frank nodded, "go. I'll be alright."
She kissed his cheek, "call of you need anything. Anything at all, even a hug." She hugged him tightly, "I'll see you later."
************
Linda walked down to the basement, where Danny had taken up a near permanent residence. She watched him punch the punching bag with a vengeance. He wasn't wearing gloves and she wanted to scream at him. She watched him for about another ten minutes before she heard a heartbreaking sob. He caught the bag as it swung back at him, and he rested his forehead on the leather. His shoulders shook as he lets go of the wall he had built.
Linda slowly walked up to him and gently put her hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly and turned around; his eyes were dark and cloudy, and if it wasn't for the tears, she couldn't tell what he was feeling. He suddenly looked twenty five years older and younger at the same time.
"Danny?"
He closed his eyes and dropped his head, and she immediately hugged him tightly. She lead him to the couch where he cried on her shoulder.
Danny pulled away suddenly, roughly wiping his tears. "Sorry," he mumbled.
Linda shook my head, "don't. You have every right to feel heartbroken. You knew her even before you were born." She touched his cheek and he touched her hand, pining it there. He turned his head and kissed her palm, sighing into it.
"She was my Mom." His voice cracked and it broke Linda's heart.
"She still is your Mom. Nothing can change that. Mary will forever and always be your Mom."
Danny nodded, "I'm tired."
"Take a nap. I know you didn't sleep well last night." Linda twisted her hand, grasping his and bringing them down to her lap.
"No, I'm tired. Tired of being brave for everyone. I just wish it would stop."
"What would stop?" She cocked her head, watching him hang his own. "Wish what would stop, Danny?"
"Everything.... all the noise and the sleepless nights and the numbness... I wish it would go away."
"It will. I promise you it will."
"It won't stop," his voice cracked and he started crying again. "Damn!"
Linda hugged him tightly, letting her own tears finally flow. "It's okay," she barely managed through the sobs. "It's going to be okay."