You Are On My Mind

You're Not Leaving

Sobs racked her body as she sat on her bed, trying to be as quiet as she could. She wanted to scream and shout and walk away from it all. She looked to the closet through tear-blurred eyes, and slowly stood up. She stood crying in the closet for about five minutes before she pulled down a suitcase from the top shelf. Swallowing thickly, she held it in her hands, contemplating what to do. With determination, she stomped from the closet to the bed, throwing the suitcase onto the mattress. Quickly, she started throwing clothes into the bag, her tears and sobs loudly escaping her lips.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Danny came into the room, watching her pack.
"You're the detective. Detect."
"Linda, I said I was sorry-"
" 'Look, I'm sorry, okay?' Is not an apology. You just wanted me to shut up."
He grabbed the scarf out of her hands, "and packing a suitcase is going to solve this problem? What about communication? Y'know, the thing you're always bitchin' about?!"
Linda furrowed her brow, new tears wanting to come. Quietly, she said, "I don't want to see you anymore."
"Linda," Danny's voice was still angry, but it sounded more exasperated.
"I can't live like this anymore! I can't keep pretending this doesn't bother me! Because it does bother me. And it's getting to the point where I don't even want to see your face!" Linda grabbed the scarf from his grip and threw it into the suitcase. "You don't care about anyone but yourself, and I'm forkin' tired of it." She walked into the bathroom, "you walked out on me once, and you swore you'd never do it again. I'm better than that; I'm checking into a hotel for a while. Somewhere where's there's no police or guns or you." She threw the toiletries into the bag. She clicked the suitcase shut and pushed passed him.
He grabbed her arm, "you're not going anywhere!"
"Yes, I am." She yanked her arm from his grip, knocking her shoulder into the door frame.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Linda grumbled, moving away from him. He grabbed her elbow again.
"You're not going anywhere," he repeated, staring angrily at her.
"Yes, I am," this time, her answer was desperate and hoarse.
"Fine. Fine! You can leave. You can leave, and leave me and Jack and Sean high an' dry. You can do that. It's your right. But just know this: no matter how far you run, no matter where you go, no matter the consequences.... I will find you. I will find you, and bring your selfish ass back here."
"I'm not being selfish!" Linda yelled at him. "I'm being smart! I can't keep going on like this! It's bad for my health! You can't keep doing selfish, idiotic things and expect me to forgive you! I'm s-sick and- and tired of it! So I'm leaving for a few days!"
Danny grabbed her arm again and slammed her against him. He gripped her wrists to his chest and backed her against the wall, effectively trapping her.
"Let go of me, you big f-" her sentence was cutoff by his lips on hers. He claimed her lips as his own, and she had willingly let him.... again.
"You are not leaving, Linda Rose O'Shea Reagan. I know you're mad, I know you are. But if you leave, you're no better than Jack Boyle." Maybe that was a low blow, but what could he do to make her stay? He certainly wasn't going to trap her in the house.
"Then give me a reason," Linda looked down at Danny's fingers around her wrists. His grip was tight, there would be bruises. She looked into his eyes, tears blurring her vision. "Give me a reason to stay. Please!"
"Okay." He kisses her neck, face, ears, and lips while declaring his love for her. He recited his wedding vows all those years ago. He was desperate to get her to stay.
************
"I'm sorry," Linda looked away in shame, rolling onto her side so he couldn't see her face. "I'm sorry. I'm so awful and selfish and mean and stupid and-"
"Hey," Danny placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her to her back. "You were pissed. And now we're even." He explained at her look of confusion, "when you were packing and threatening to leave, I felt all the life go out of me. And I'm guessing that's how you felt when I left."
Linda nodded, still ashamed of herself.
"So let's forgive and forget.... can I hold you?"
She smiled and nodded, scooting into his arms. "I'll never do that again. Never."