You Are On My Mind

Insecurities And Scars

"Come on, Linda!" Danny calles through the bathroom door. He looked at his watch and sighed, they were going to be late. Although he couldn't remember if the event was a retirement party or a family friend's extravagant dinner, he knew his wife hated being late. She always ripped him about getting ready the very last minute, and here she was, waiting till the very last minute. "You've been in there for half an hour!"
Linda sighed heavily as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her formal gown was tasteful, but slightly teasing. Ordinarily, she would've loved to wear a dress like this. It was conservative brought to keep Danny's possessiveness at bay, but sexy enough to get him thinking about what would happen after the event. Before, she would have pressed against him as they danced, gone a tad over her wine limit, and mercilessly palm him beneath the table cloth.
"Linda!"
She closed her eyes and apprehensively opened the door. When her husband didn't say a word, she cleared her throat. "Is, uh, is this okay? Do I look okay?"
"Okay? Okay doesn't even begin to describe it." She was wearing a sleeveless silver dress with a slit half way up her left thigh. The dress was sleek and classy, and hugged her curves perfectly. She had paired it with gold jewelry and black stiletto heels, her ankle tattoo on display.
Linda felt her cheeks heat up, "you're not just saying that?"
Danny saw her left hand rest on her side, trying to achieve nonchalance. "Oh, honey, no one will see the scar."
His voice was soft and caring, almost tearing her apart. "Are you sure?" She walked to the closet and stood in front of the full length mirror. "Because I really do think-"
Danny cut her off by turning her head towards his. He captured her lips in a searing kiss, "if I didn't know you were shot, I wouldn't know you had been shot."
Linda furrowed her brow, but couldn't help the smile on her lips when she felt Danny's kiss on her forehead.
"C'mon, you look fantastic."
**************
Linda had been sitting at their assigned table all evening. She had made the usual small talk in greeting her friends and anyone else who stopped to say hi, but she felt much more comfortable sitting at the table. She felt as if the eyes marveling at her beauty were staring at her scars, judging her silently. She took a sip of her wine, scanning the crowd for Danny. When she saw that he was trying his hardest to pay attention to someone she didn't recognize, she swallowed the rest of the glass and stood up. Screw the people who gave her judging stares. Screw her insecurities, she had wine in her, and she wanted to dance. 
"Excuse me," Linda smiled her most dazzling smile, "but I was wondering if I could steal Detective Reagan for a dance?" She played with the lapels to his jacket.
"Of course!" A nice-faced man smiled broadly. "Take him for as long as you need!"
The couple smiled, and as they headed to the dance floor, Danny said, "thank you so much- I thought I was gonna die of boredom!"
Turning to face him, she put her hand in his and her other hand on his upper arm. "You'll have to pay me later." She pressed against him, glanced down, and licked her canine.
As much as Danny wanted to give into her flirtations, he knew of he did, he'd be lost. For some reason, she always seemed more flirty during public, fancy events like this. "Did you have some wine?"
"Uh huh," her eyes sparkled with liquid encouragement.
"How many?"
"Only three!" She hiccuped.
"You know your limit's two." He spun her around, then brought her close to him.
"I know."
"So why have one too many?"
Looking suddenly ashamed, she hung her head. "I want to forget."
"Forget? Forget what?"
"Being shot. I thought maybe if I had wine and got you to dance and felt you against me, the insecurities would go away. And when they went away, I'd finally be able to love you like you and I both want."
Danny wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head as she buried her face in his shoulder. "Honey, I told you to take all the time you needed. Sure, I miss making love to you, but I understand low self esteem and insecurities more than anyone. Take your time."
"But you've been shot, and all you want to do is screw me. And I wanna screw you so bad, but what if I'm not enough anymore?" The liquid courage made her voice thoughts she'd otherwise keep hidden. "What if I'm not satisfying anymore? Or you see the scars and think I'm gross? Or-"
Danny wasn't going to let Linda talk that way. He claimed her lips in a way telling her he wanted her no matter what scars she carried. He pulled away before his arousal became to evident, "do you know if there's an available room here?"

*part two coming