You Are On My Mind

It's My Fault

Danny Reagan had been looking for his girlfriend all day long. She wasn't in school that day, and he wondered if she had been sick. Her brother, Jimmy, shrugged and brushed it off as if his sister's physical and mental health didn't matter.
After he had finished his homework (most of it anyway), he called his best friend Jimmy. He wasn't sure why he and Jimmy had connected. Maybe it was because they were both rebels, or maybe because Jimmy was inevitably going to be led down a wrong path. Danny didn't know, but he had a feeling he soon wouldn't forget the weird teen.
The Reagan had frowned when Jimmy casually said his sister was probably crying in her closet. He didn't know why everyone blew off his girlfriend, but he was getting tired of it. He knew she was polite and a little shy and always obeyed authority- maybe people classified her as a prude or something equally wrong and offensive.
Armed With a load of tissues in his pocket and a bag of espresso chocolate chip chocolate cookies, Danny got on his bike and rode to Staten Island. He was grateful he had his license and that old man Jenkins had gifted him the Harley. It had been payed off fully, and only needed the regular maintenance.
***********
Danny climbed through stairs to the O'Shea's house, wondering why his girl was said and if he could help her. He paused at her door and smiled, seeing a new picture on her white door. It had been cut out of the school's weekly forum; in it, he and she sat at a picnic table in the school yard. She was looking up from where she was pointing in the book, smiling a little shyly at him. He blushed slightly, remembering he hadn't been paying attention to what she had been saying. He was paying attention to her, and how she smelled and her attitude- he had been memorizing her.
Jimmy walked past his friend and pushed his sister's door open. "Just go in."
The Reagan apprehensively entered the room, and looked around. It was a very neat room, and he had been in it a few times. He heard a sob and turned to the closet; hesitantly he knocked, "Linda? Linda, are you okay? Can I come in?"
The door opened, so he stepped inside.
"Close it, please."
He closed it behind him and sat on the floor, across from Linda. "What's wrong? You weren't in school today."
"You probably think I'm just a dumb blonde who deserved it, who was asking for it!" She used big hand gestures, her voice just a bit hysterical.
"I don't think you're a dumb blonde." He said quietly. "Or that you deserved it... whatever it is. Linda, what happened?"
She let out a shuddering breath and pulled her over sized white cardigan off her arms. She pulled the sleeve to her shirt down, biting her lip.
Danny wasn't sure what he was seeing. It was dark in the closet, rendering his sight. Just as he was starting to get an idea of what was happening, Linda yanked her sleeve up and pulled on her cardigan.
"See? I told you you'd agree with him!"
"Linda, I don't know what you're showing me." Only seventeen, and his voice could calm a storm. "Tell me so I can help."
"Promise you won't tell? Promise!"
"I- I promise. I promise. What is it?"
Linda let out another shattering sigh, "My parents are finalizing their divorce this weekend. I'm moving in with my Dad."
"I'm sorry that they're divorcing, but something else is wrong- I can tell."
"My... my Dad beats me. He... says I deserve it." She sobbed again, "tell me I do! Tell me I'm wrong in what- whatever I'm doing! Tell me it's my fault!" She dropped her head onto Danny's lap. "Please! Tell me!"
Danny swallowed, hesitating to put his hand on her head. He did, though, stroking her hair- something he would come to do a lot in the future. "Linda. Linda, listen to me. It's not your fault. And even if it was, you don't deserve to be knocked around for it." Slowly, he put his hands on her, bringing her up to sit. He hugged her to him, her legs across his lap.
Linda cried into Danny's green sweater until she was exhausted. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she kept whispering, clinging to the soft fabric. "I'm sorry."
From that moment forward, Danny vowed to always protect this blonde girl, even if he didn't end up with her.