You Are On My Mind

Why, Why, Why?

Linda paced the hospital floor, continually smacking the back of her phone to her hand. She was biting her lip, making it plump as she continuously looked at the clock, continuously muttering curses. Another look at the clock told her three seconds had passed, "Damn." Five seconds later, had her looking again. "Damn, Damn."
"Linda, why don't you sit down?" Mary suggested, worried about the blonde.
She shook her head, "I can't sit down.... I can't." She sat next to her mother in law anyway, despite her statements. "I... Frank, what happened? No one will tell me anything."
"It's going to be okay," he said, his voice calm and soothing. "The bullet went through his muscle. He'll make it."
She nodded, unable to quiet the voices in her head. "The bullet went through, so he's- he's not..." she couldn't say it.
"No, no, no. No, he's not going to die." Mary reassured her, rubbing her arm.
"But how can you be sure?"
"Are you kissing?" Joe pipped up, looking up from the magazine he had been occupied with. "He wouldn't die with a baby on the way."
Linda subconsciously rubbed her six month pregnant belly. It was not a good time to be having a baby- she was still in school, Danny was still in crazy shifts, and she was working crazy hours as well. She was ecstatic that she- that they were having a baby, but she wished it could've waited a year. They should've waited a year, but they didn't, and Linda couldn't be happier.
Linda started crying again, Mary doing her best to calm her down. The mother to be stood again and started pacing. She put a hand on her stomach when the baby moved. Three hours had passed since Danny had gone into surgery. She had done her research- she knew how long it took to sew up bullet wounds. "He should be out by now."
"The baby?" Jamie wondered, not thinking about what he had said.
"No, Danny. He should-" she felt a strong pain in her stomach, but pressed on. "He should be out by now. It does- doesn't take this long- ow."
"Linda?" Mary knew what was happening when Linda eased herself into a chair, hand on her stomach.
*************
Linda held her breath and bit her lip, waiting for that beautiful sound. Fear rose in her chest and churned in her stomach when minutes passed and nothing happened.
"I'm so sorry, Linda."
She didn't hear those words.
"The baby didn't make it. She would've been a beautiful baby girl."
She didn't hear all those words, either. She just stared ahead, hands gripping the sheets.
"Oh, Linda..." it was Frank's voice in her ear. She had almost forgotten he had come with her. "I'm so sorry."
Linda still didn't say a word. It was as if she was frozen and time didn't exist. She didn't hear the doctor apologizing, she didn't feel the doctor cleaning her up, she didn't notice the doctor and nurses leaving.
Frank looked to his daughter in law, "Linda?" He wanted to ask are you okay?, but that would be stupid and heartless. Of course she's not okay. She just lost her first baby. He jumped when a wail came from beside him.
Linda sat in the hospital bed, tears streaming down her face. She didn't even try to hide it like she normally would. She was tired, she was devastated, she was angry.
Frank slowly wrapped his arms around her as her crying got worse. She shook in his arms, gripping the fabric of his shirt.
"Why? Why, why, why?" She repeated over and over again, each time getting louder. She screamed the word, pushing Frank away.
*************
"Hi. How're you feeling?" Mary tried to sound a little cheery. She had just heard what had happened, and moments before, the doctor told her it was okay to see her son.
"Fine. Where's Linda? She okay?" Danny's voice was sleepy from the anesthesia, but he was still concerned about his wife and unborn baby.
"It's good that you're okay. A bullet went through your upper arm," she lightly tapped his right arm. "You'll ve okay-"
"I know. I'm not worried about me. Where's Linda?" Danny saw his Mom's expression change. "Something's wrong."
"Well..." she sighed, knowing she couldn't lie. "Linda went into premature labor. They said it was caused by stress and lack of sleep and such. She, um... it was a still birth."
"What..." he swallowed, having a feeling that wasn't good. "What does that mean?"
"She lost the baby. It... She was born without a heart beat."
Danny furrowed his brow, then almost immediately ripped the IV and other wires and tubes from his arm.
"What're you doing?!"
"Going to see her."
"You can't." She tried to push him back down.
"Yes I can and I will."

*A/n
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