The Other Side Of Me

Chapter 3: Not a Time to Panic (?)

Hiccup's mind was racing as he hurriedly walked back to his hut. He wasn't usually the kind of person to worry too much. He always had a plan in mind, or he had his friends to fall back on. But, times like these were different. He had no plan and his friends could not help him. He would be on his own, or he would be risking putting their lives in danger.

The distant echoing in his head had become routine after so many years. It always seemed to start the same.

The world around him would seem to wash away, murmuring that he could almost understand as voices came through the waves, calling him away, trying to pull his humanity from him. He made the mistake of giving in one time, a mistake he would never risk again. Over the years those feelings had grown in intensity. Each time left him more disheveled and afraid. He pushed away the thoughts of what might come this time.

'You need to calm down,' he thought, 'panicking won't help.'

He opened the large door to his hut and hurriedly walked in, closing it behind him. Toothless awoke from his spot on the floor at the sound of his rider entering. However, the dragon noticed the boy returned far more distraught than when he had left. Toothless lifted himself to follow closely behind Hiccup as the young Viking slumped into the seat at his workbench. The dragon cooed as he laid his head on Hiccup's lap, looking up at him with green eyes full of concern. Hiccup just managed a sigh before lightly patting his friend on the head.

Toothless was the only one on the edge who had any idea of the brutal cycle Hiccup was forced to endure. He had seen its effects on his rider several times. Each time he stuck close by the boy, offering whatever support he could as a flying reptile.

Hiccup looked down at the dragon, offering a small smile. "It's okay, bud. I'm fine." Toothless huffed, understanding that his rider was not 'okay'. Hiccup only rolled his eyes. "I'll be okay," he reassured, "I've done this countless times now, bud. I just need to lay low for a bit. You know how it goes." Now, Toothless rolled his eyes. He knew his rider was stubborn, and who was he to argue. The two sat with each other's company until there was a soft knock against the hut. Hiccup didn't even need to think twice before knowing it was Astrid.

He sighed before pushing himself away from the bench, bracing himself as he went to open the door to his betrothed.

Astrid smiled at him with concern as she spoke. "Hey, Hiccup, I just wanted to stop by and make sure everything was okay. You seemed pretty out of it back in the forest." Hiccup held back a grimace as he gave her the most genuine smile he could. "Don't worry, nothing is wrong. I don't know what happened back there. I probably just didn't enough sleep." he said, trying to brush away her concerns. He could already feel everything building again, echoing in the back of his mind like a bad memory.

"Are you sure?" she said, clearly not convinced. "Hiccup, you know you can talk to me. I know I'm not the best at this stuff. But, I love you, and I will always be there if you need me. You don't have to hide anything." Hiccup couldn't help but blush at her loving words. He knew he had been lucky to have her. Her kindness would have been greatly appreciated in another scenario. But, he could feel the pull growing stronger. Her kind words held no influence on the growing pain in his mind. Fighting against it did him no good. It only made things more painful. But, it was his only option.

"I know, Astrid," he said swiftly, if not a little harshly. He winced a little at his tone but there was no taking it back now.

Astrid had noticed, unfortunately, and couldn't help but be a little hurt by his words. But, she showed no expression of her uncertainty. "Well then," she said unsurely, backed up by a slight tone of her own. "Dinner's almost ready. Are you going to join us?

Hiccup made sure to speak more softly this time, despite the aching in his head. "Yeah," he knew he was lying, "I'll be there in a minute. Just let me finish up some things here," He assured.

Astrid looked at him for a moment before smiling. "Alright, I'll see you soon then." She then turned and headed toward the clubhouse.

Hiccup pulled down the door to his hut. As it closed he sighed deeply and leaned against it. Slowly, his body slid down until he was sitting on the hard wooden floor. He pulled his knees to his chest as he let a few tears fall. He felt Toothless watching him. "What am I going to do, bud?" He asked. The dragon only came closer and pressed his head to his riders, offering his support. Hiccup sniffed as he scratched the dragon's chin. "Thanks, bud."

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As Astrid walked away from Hiccup's hut, she knew something was wrong, even if he wasn't ready to tell her. It was rare for him to be harsh to anyone, even slightly. Something was bothering her betrothed, and it bothered her not knowing what it was. But, she knew she would not be able to force it out of him. She would have to wait for him to come to her.

As she neared the clubhouse she could smell the incredible meal Heather had been making for the gang. As she rounded the corner she was greeted by the girl herself. "Hey, Astrid. Dinner is almost ready. Where's Hiccup?" She asked.

"He said he'd be here in a minute, he had some stuff to take care of back at his hut first." Astrid thought for a moment before turning to the gang. "Hey, guys, have you noticed that Hiccup's been acting different today?" She asked.

"What do you mean by different?" Fishlegs questioned. "Well, earlier Snotlout and I were in the forest when Hiccup had come by to see what we were doing. We were talking a little while before he just kind of spaced out. When he came back he just muttered something about needing to get back to work before rushing back to his hut," Astrid explained. "Yeah, it was super weird," Snotlout said, backing up her story.

"Well, I guess that's a little weird, but I don't think it's something you should think too hard on. You know how Hiccup is. His mind is constantly running." Fishlegs reassured.

"I guess so," Astrid considered, "but, when I was talking to him a few minutes ago he seemed... on edge. I could tell he was trying to cover it up, but I could still tell that something was bothering him. Whatever it is, I think he's trying to hide it," Astrid recalled.

"If you want to, you can ask him when he comes in. Just be upfront with him." Heather suggested. Astrid thanked her with a smile before sitting with the others to wait for Hiccup to arrive.

But, he never did. They waited and waited. He showed no signs of ever joining them. Everyone shared a look, understanding that maybe something was wrong. "Maybe he just fell asleep," assured Tuffnut, trying to kill some of the tension. "Or, he just got carried away with working," Ruffnut said, agreeing with her brother.

"He should have shown up by now," Astrid said, ignoring the twins. Heather tried to offer her friend some aid. "How about we just give him the night? Then, in the morning, you can go talk to him. He'll most likely listen to you," she suggested. Astrid sighed as she poked at her dinner. She knew Heather was right. Storming over to Hiccup's hut at that moment would only accomplish a little. But, she couldn't help but worry for the young Viking. Whatever it was, she would have to wait till tomorrow.