A Few Days More - Sanders Sides

The Day I Went Back There

Trigger Warnings: Bad Thoughts, Panic Attack

I opened my eyes, lights were screaming at me from all different directions. It made my vision hurt, but I was too afraid to shut my eyes. I didn't know where I was. I couldn't feel anything. What was going on? What the hell was happening!

"Virgil? Are you okay, buddy?" I heard a voice like Patton's ring out. I turned my head, seeing him standing there. Well, a version of him standing there. He was in the same blue polo, grey cardigan wrapped over his shoulders, and tan pants from that dream I had back at SJMH.

Oh fuck.

"Why am I back here?" I asked, trying to move my limbs.

"I told you those restraints were going to scare him! He was already scared enough before you knocked him out!" The black polo, blue tie version of Logan said from behind Patton. "At least turn down the lights; you're going to give him a headache!"

"Well, I'm sorry that Virgil was acting like a crazy person!" Prince suited Roman muttered, turning down the lights. I was beginning to see a bit more clearly now. All three of these people were looking at me. Concern was written all over their faces.

"You've been out for quite a while. You were starting to scare us, kiddo." Patton tried to lighten the mood. I was hardly listening though. I was heavily concentrated on getting out of the restraints I was put in. I was tied to a chair, rope bound my wrists together and my ankles tied to the legs of the chair.

"Why am I tied up?! W-What are you going to do to me?" I asked, shaking so much that the chair was rattling with me.

"Virgil, we mean you no harm. We are just worried about you." Logan spoke calmly, "You weren't acting like yourself. All this talk about, 'Warden Sanders' and 'SJMH.' We just want to know what that means."

"I already told you!" I said, swallowing the built-up saliva in my mouth. "I met you three, along with Remus and Damion, in a hospital. Sanders' Junior Mental Hospital. Warden Sanders ran it." I tried to explain. Patton's eyes were watering while Roman ran frustrated hands in his hair.

"Well, that is incorrect," Logan said, kneeling down in front of me. "Thomas Sanders is out host. We all live inside his mind. You are his Anxiety. Patton is his morality, Roman is his creativity, and I am his logic. Does that sound right?" He asked me, to which I shook my head.

"W-What about Damion and Remus?" I questioned, watching all their faces shift in disgust.

"Remus is more...bad creativity. While Damion, as you call him, is deceit." I put my head down, squeezing my eyes to stop the tears.

"Oh, Virgil." I heard Patton mutter into his hands.

I couldn't believe I was back here. This doesn't make any sense. Why does this keep happening? What does any of this mean? Aren't dreams supposed to have some sort of meaning? What the hell is happening to me. "I just want this to go away!" I yelled, my voice echoing around the room. It sounded scary and full of fear. Like some sort of beast I accidentally let loose.

I looked up again, seeing that the others had vanished. I was now sitting on the floor. The chair and ropes keeping me in place had completely disappeared. Everything around me was a black abyss as if this was somewhere I wasn't meant to see. Picking myself off the ground, I noticed two people in the distance.

One had a long black cape with a bowler hat. His frame was thin, but his wicked looking smile was familiar. The other one was much taller and slender. He was wearing a suit similar to Roman, only color shifted and weird.

It suddenly clicked. Damion and Remus. Joy flooded me like water as I sprinted towards them. The others have gone crazy. Maybe these two will understand. Maybe these two will remember. Maybe I'm not crazy like they say I am.