The Devil Wears Girl Jeans [BEING EDITED]

The Devil Wears Girl Jeans (Chapter 5)

 "Ugh, my Chapstick went through the dryer and now it's basically just a tube of cherry juice." Dallas whined, twirling around in my computer chair.

"Cool, Dallas."

"Do you ever sometimes eat your Chapstick? I think I've probably eaten my weight in Chapstick by now."

"Dallas. I dont know how to say this nicely, but piss off."

It was Saturday, and Dallas had shown up nice and early since his Internet was down. It was currently 7. In the morning.

"So, whats for breakfast?" he asked, leaning back on my computer chair which he had wheeled over to my bedside.

"A big bowl of GET OUT OF MY ROOM." I growled, pulling the blankets up over my head and turning my back to him.

"Someones cranky." I felt the mattress dent where Dallas sat down, and I actually snarled.

"I'm going to kill you."

"Not if I kill you first." he sang happily, wrapping his pale fingers around my wrist and literally dragging me out of bed. I hit the floor with a thud, and immediately tried to stand up, with every intention of punching him. Half way to being vertical, I realized my leg was asleep, and suddenly tumbled forward, face first into Dallas' crotch. He let out a yelp and dropped down into the fetal position, while I sat there stunned. That was...ugh.

"Well on the bright side, at least we know karma still works." I said after a couple minutes of awkward silence.

"Yeah. Lovely." he wheezed, standing up, still slightly bent over from the mentally scarring situation that had just occurred. "Get dressed, we're going to go do something today."

I saluted him, and he waddled upstairs while I yanked open my drawers. Black capris, red shirt, black cardigan. Excellent. I pulled everything on, then took off upstairs to find Dallas who was stretched out across our couch scrolling through the channels.

"YES, A DOCUMENTARY ON THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION!" he yelled sarcastically. "Said no one ever."

"Are we going or not?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming." he grumbled, grabbing his keys and following me out the door.

***

Dallas pulled his green Ford into the spot right beside an identical one.

"Really? Whats the point of that?"

"They need to be twins," he said simply, taking off across the parking lot towards the mall.

We stepped inside and were hit with a blast of warm air. Willowleed Mall was probably the only thing open at this time in the morning, and every single sane person was at home sleeping, so we were nearly alone.

Dallas made a bee line for Teeopia, the only store he ever shopped in. Shirts of every colour were stacked on tables around us, each one with some kind of amusing saying or video game reference plastered on the front. 

Dallas lived and breathed video game references.

"What do you think of this one?" Dallas asked, holding up a shirt that said, 'Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two extra lives.'

"It is very you."

"True that. I think I'm gonna get this one. And this one."

Dallas kept picking up shirts until he had a decent armful of them, and then shuffled over to the check out where a tall guy in black skinny jeans and a black hoodie had his back to us.