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"You're so grown up," Farrah gasped once they got seated. The two of them sat in the dining room alone while Nai, his aunt and cousins went downstairs to the family room to give them some privacy.
"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm about to be twenty one," he nodded.
"On August 30th," she nodded in turn, just looking at him. Her son. "God you remind me so much of your daddy," she sniffed, wiping her eye. Even thinking about her husband made her emotional even after 16 years without him.
"You-you look the same," he said. "I don't know what I was expecting but you look exactly how I remember you," he said softly, making her smile. "Um, is it okay if I ask you somethings?"
"Yes! Yes of course, feel free," she said quickly. He nodded and sat up some in his chair, preparing for what was undeniably going to be one of the hardest conversations he'd have in a very long time.
"So, first I uh, I wanted to know what happened? Why didn't they let me see you before I got put up for adoption?" he asked.
"Well, before I explain let me sincerely apologize. I wasn't at all mentally stable back then. I needed a lot of help and I realize how traumatic that must have been for you to witness so young, and I'm truly sorry, Armani," she spoke.
"Thank you, I appreciate that," he nodded.
"Okay, so, once I got to the hospital I was unconscious. For a while. I didn't wake up for three days actually, and when I did, I was in a mental rehabilitation facility," she said, breathing deeply. "I had relapses in which I would try and harm and kill myself again, so they kept me under strict watch. I kept asking for you, nobody would tell me where you were and it began to make everything worse because I didn't know if my baby was safe. I um—I was diagnosed with clinical depression and BPD, which is borderline personality disorder.I was on suicide watch for three to four years straight because nothing was getting better with my mental health. I was in the hospital for five almost six years total.
I started to force myself to take my medication and go to therapy and do my treatments because I—I missed you. I missed you and your little voice and how you'd tell me you loved me every single day even when—even when I couldn't say it back," she choked out, reaching for a tissue to wipe her face.
"I'm sorry. Um, I started doing much better, I was beginning to eat regularly, I had a routine to follow, and I made sure I did it every day, I was starting to be able to look myself in the mirror again. I was finally released and my sister, your aunt Mia, she picked me up," she finished up.
Armani was in complete shock. He didn't think it was that bad. Of course he knew she tried to commit suicide but he never thought she'd try it again.
"I—I don't know what to say, I'm sorry that happened to you," he spoke, also finding himself getting a tad emotional.
"That's okay, honey. I had to go through a lot to get here but I'm glad I'm here now. How about you? What happened with you?"
