Reaching Star (S)

Chapter 01

"Ang sungit mo talaga kahit kailan. Kailan mo ba ako magugustuhan ha, Kian?" parang tanga kong kinakausap itong cellphone ko. Si Kian kasi ang wallpaper ko.

Tumingala ako sa kalangitan at pinagmasdan ang mga bituin. Halos gabi-gabi akong narito sa aming garden. This place is the most peaceful place here in our house. I really appreciate the beauty of our garden, and most especially the serene view of the stars during night.

"Ang ganda-ganda niyo talaga," sambit ko at saka tinaas ang kamay na para bang maaabot ko sila.

Somehow, those stars reminded me of Kian— ang hirap abutin, at kahit kailanman hindi ko kayang maabot. Oh scratch that! Someday, mapapansin mo rin ako!

Binaba ko ang kamay ko at saka pinagpatuloy ang pagsusulat ko sa letter na ibibigay ko bukas kay Kian. Aba't halos araw-araw atang nakakatanggap ng letter si Kian, minsan galing sa ibang admirers niya pero karamihan ay sa akin.

Ilang saglit pa ay narinig ko ang pagdating ng sasakyan.

"Saan ka galing..." natigil ako saglit sa ginagawa at saka dinungaw ang loob ng bahay. Mula sa kinauupuan ko ay kita ko ang loob ng aming bahay.

"..lasing ka nanaman" dinig kong sabi ni Mommy.

Hindi ko na lamang pinansin iyon. Sanay na ako. Instead, I plugged my earphones on and put it on high volume so I can't hear anything. Mag-aaway lang sila. I'll just pretend nothing happened, I'll just pretend everything's okay just like what I always do.

After being contented with the designs and decorations I put on Kian's letter, I decided to go back inside and go to sleep.

While walking towards my room, I saw my Mom sitting in the couch. She saw my appearance and she smiled sadly. I can't help but to pity her. I pity my Mom for loving Daddy so much, too bad, Daddy can't love her back. Daddy was forced to marry Mommy. Araw-araw, gabi-gabi ay nag-aaway sila dahil palaging late at lasing na umuuwi si Daddy. Minsan nahuhulian pa ni Mommy na may lipstick sa damit at naaaktuhan na may ibang kalaguyo ito.

Noong bata ako, malayo na talaga ang loob ko sa aking ama. Kinamumuhian ko siya dahil sa ginagawa niya sa amin ni Mommy, but Mommy is very kind. She told me to understand my Daddy and eventually he will going to accept us. But I think that is to blur to happen. It's okay though. I have my Mom.

This scenario reminds me a lot of what I am doing to Kian. I don't know why am I still doing this, siguro nga ay tama sila, na papansin nga ako. Siguro papansin talaga ako dahil kahit kailan ay hindi ko naranasan ang nararanasan ng iba—ang pagtuonan din ng pansin at magkaroon ng halaga para sa isang tao. I wonder what is the feeling of someone being concerned of you.

Mommy is very busy with our company and at the same time she's busy stalking Daddy to the point where she don't have time for me.

My heart hurt big time everytime I realize that I am alone. But still, I believe that someone will going to accept me, care for me, love me, and give his full attention to me.

I can't help but to hug my Mommy, for now, all I have is her. At least she's the only one in this world who will never abandon me despite of what's happening in our family.

"Mom, 'di ka pa ba matutulog?"

"Mamaya na hija, just sleep already. May pasok ka pa."

"Okay, Mommy. Good night. I love you." then I kissed her.