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taehyung stumbles into the room and into the bathroom, gasping for air as his panic attack grows more intense. the dried blood that has seeped into his skin makes him throw up in the stall, emptying out whatever contents he had had. he had left claudia after feeling the numbness in his fingers and the way his vision had flashed white.
he falls to his knees and continues sobbing into his palm, bringing his knees towards his chest. it would be over sooner or later, taehyung has grown used to dealing with them alone. but the image of sticking the knife into someone's head wouldn't leave his mind, zombie or not they had been alive at some point.
his breathing is uncontrollable, and he can feel himself chocking on his saliva. he lets out heart wrenching sobs as he can't contain himself anymore. he feels like he could pass out, he feels claustrophobic.
when jeongguk steps inside the room, he's about to scowl taehyung for leaving the door open, but upon hearing the cries emitting from the bathroom, he shuts his mouth and rushes to the site.
what he sees breaks him. because it reminds him of a younger taehyung in his dorm room, crying in the same way that had tore his heartstrings. jeongguk squats down next to him and brings him into his arms, "hey, hey, you're ok. tae," he rocks back and forth with him in his arms, rubbing circles onto his back.
taehyung cries harder into jeon's chest, "i can't do it, i want to go home," he says in between sobs.
jeongguk takes his hands and brings him to sit on the toilet seat. "i'm gonna clean your face ok? just focus on breathing," jeongguk grabs a washcloth and soaks it under the faucet, kneeling in front of taehyung and starting to wipe off the blood.
his tears have started to mix in with the semi dried blood, but jeongguk wipes them away gently. his sobs have ceased into sniffles and hiccups, but the waterworks continue. "i'm gonna take your shirt off ok?" jeongguk doesn't know why his fingers shake as he grabs the hem of taehyung's shirt and lifts it up, exposing the tanned skin decorated with little moles.
he steps out of the bathroom quickly and grabs a spare shirt from his bag. "here, arms up," he dresses the older and pats at his wet face with a dry towel, making sure to get rid of any sign of blood from his unblemished skin.
"uh, do you wanna lay down?" jeongguk scratches the back of his neck, eyeing the bloodied towels before discarding of them.
taehyung sniffles and wipes at his eyes, nodding. he stands up and makes his way to the bed, avoiding eye contact with jeon as he brushes past him. he's embarrassed, the last time jeon had seen him like that was years ago, but they had been friends. now, they were just surviving together.
the truth is, taehyung needs comfort. he's been scared since the outbreak at the camps. since the last call he had with his mom. hell, he couldn't even think of the possibility of his parents being— no. they weren't. they wouldn't leave him like that. he brings the duvet up to his chin and attempts to rest, but he can't.
what he wants to say is eating him up, but he silently watches jeongguk pace around the room. "gguk?" taehyung says only loudly enough for it to come out as a mere whisper that is barely audible.
"yeah?"
taehyung bites his lip, "can you. . ." stay with me? "can you shut the blinds please?"
jeongguk nods, climbing onto the bed and runs his hand across the blinds, blocking the natural light. he stares down at taehyung, who's eyelashes are still wet from tears. "do you. . . do you want me to stay with you? just in case?"
taehyung nods.
so jeongguk gently lays down next to taehyung, pressing his chest to the latter's back. he's glad they're not facing the same way, with the way his ears and apples of his cheeks are aflame, he'd be screwed. "tae?"
"hm."
"it's ok to be scared."
taehyung was glad they were not facing the same way. because if jeongguk had seen the way his tears fell at his words (the same ones he would whisper to him years ago), he would've been screwed.
a/n quarantine rlly has me updating the upcoming chapters will be less dark than this one, but giving light to anxiety is very important to me and making people realize it's not something easy to deal with.
ANYWAYS, i might throw in a flashback chapter of when gguk and tae were friends before their fallout, would you guys like that?
