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FIVE YEARS AGO
jeongguk watches his sister from afar, hidden behind bushes to conceal his whereabouts. jeon jiun has been seeing a man for months now, kept hidden from him and their mother. until now. finally, jeongguk had built up the courage to follow her. from his view, he could only see the back of the man's head. but by the looks of his polished shoes, and well ironed suit, he was of money. in comparison to his sister, who wore a dress that had been in her closet for years, and shoes that she only took to parties and church, the two seemed from two different worlds. worlds that shouldn't meet.
he walks closer to them, covering his face with his hoodie as he takes a seat on a bench nearby. he faces away from them.
". . . i still don't know how to tell them, i'm their only form of income now that mom is sick again. and jeongguk is only fifteen, i couldn't force him to start working, he has school."
the man puts a hand on her shoulder, "you'll be able to help them, you'll keep your job with me. once i divorce my wife, they can come live with us. my son will stay with her, he'll be fine with us. as long as you are too."
jiun looks down, nodding as if coming to terms. she smiles at him, a sincere, loving, smile. unbeknownst to jeongguk, that would be the last smile he'd see on his sister.
"you're lucky i love you kim," jiun says, and that's enough for jeongguk to hear.
««»»
jiun cries in her room for weeks. she doesn't go out unless it's to use the bathroom or give their mom medicine. she's a good deceiver, their mother never questions her mood nor does she notice the dried tear marks on her cheeks.
jeongguk does.
he watches her from across the room, her door doesn't close all the way so he gets a good glimpse of her going through her phone, a gift from the kim man. speaking of kim, jiun cries for him. she cries for the broken promises, the lies, her broken heart. jiun has always been weak in the heart. too forgiving, too kind, too naive. she's only twenty one, a struggling bright girl who had fallen for a man that should've never been hers to share. but it takes two to tango.
maybe jeongguk is too young to understand love. he's never seen it besides in movies. he doesn't understand why jiun just doesn't simply forget about the man in the suit with the surname kim. there were plenty of boys in the world, what was so special about kim? his looks? his riches? the luxurious gifts that she tried to hide from her family?
and a week later, jiun takes her life.
jeongguk had gotten home with three stolen packs of beef in hand. his mother was absent for the day, having gone out to talk to people for jobs. and when jeongguk steps near jiun's door, he sees her. she's like a spider, dangling from her web. jeongguk drops the items in his hands and opens the door, holding onto her legs and screaming at her to get down. she won't listen. she's never listened to him.
eventually jeongguk helps her come down, and he cradles her body. she's still warm, though her lips are a nasty shade of purple and the marks on her neck act as a necklace. jeongguk doesn't cry, he stares at the wall, holding onto jiun's hand. why?
there's a paper on her bed, a paper which he grabs and stuffs in the pocket of his jacket. he lays her down on the bed, and with final words, he seals his promise.
"i won't let them fool me noona, i'll hate them all for you."
««»»
jeon jiun's funeral is a few days later. only mom, jeongguk, and a few close friends attend. jeongguk had taken out her jewelry and the nice clothes that kim had given her. although jeongguk hated kim, jiun deserved to look pretty when she walked through heaven.
their mother cries, she yells in agony. jeongguk stands still, his eyes fixated on the man in the ironed suit that watches from afar. he finally has a face in jeongguk's mind.
jeongguk reaches into his pocket and crumbles jiun's letter. how dare he come? he was the sole reason jiun was laying six feet under them. was it out of pity? to see the destruction he had made? whatever the reason, jeongguk simply watched.
it was only after they had left that jeongguk stayed to watch the man in the suit weep by her gravestone, a bouquet of white flowers in his hand.
jeongguk took out the letter, reread it, and began walking towards the man who's surname was kim.
jiun's letter:
goodbyes have never been my strongest point. neither have introductions, you are a witness to this. i stumbled into you on the side of the street, the one both of us have always taken. how did i never notice you before? did you see me first? regardless, that street united us. it only went in one direction, i'd like to think it was fate. i hope my goodbye does not affect you as much as it will jeongguk and my mother. they don't deserve it, they don't deserve being in that hellhole, and they didn't deserve my lies. neither did your wife and your son, they were all victims of our crime. how can loving someone who is not yours be that cruel? it's a question i'll never hear the answer to. i don't want to be called selfish for ending my life, for wanting to get out of a life that promised me nothing. i don't resent you for lying, i understand someone like you and someone like me could never be accepted. i know you could not fulfill your promises to me, but i ask for one last thing.
love your family. forget i ever came across your path. try again with your wife and with your son, they are worthy of every second in your life. goodbye kim, you're lucky i love you.
a/n oh,, i didn't warn about this did i? has your opinion on gguk changed?
