Behind A Smile

Chapter 15

Kabanata 15

I couldn't believe what I just saw. Where in the world did he get that? I am certain that it came from a violence. But who did it? Who could possibly do it to him?

Gusto ko s'yang tanungin, pero pinili ko nalang na tumahimik. I don't think he'd tell me anyway.

Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto ay natapos na rin kami. Papunta na kami ngayon sa may seashore, dahil doon daw gaganapin ang huling activity namin para sa araw na ito.

Ano kaya ang gagawin namin?

Nang makarating na kami doon, ay nandoon na ang iba, naka-indian seat sila sa buhangin. At kapansin-pansin rin ang bonfire sa gitna. Wow, bonfire.

Marahan akong napapikit nang may biglang maalala.

"Do you know that I love to be around bonfire?" Masayang sabi n'ya sa akin.

Tumakas kami doon, at ngayon nandito kami sa dalampasigan ng karagatan, malayo ng kaonti sa tinatawag naming impyerno.

Yes, we escaped, and we are aware that we will both be punished once we are caught, but I don't care, we don't care. For once, we need fresh air to fill our warm lungs, and it's nice to fucking breach their laws.

"Really? That's weird, but why is that?" Tanong ko, and I saw that he smiled before answering.

"My mom used to take me to beaches when I was still a child. We would swim all day, make sand castles, take pictures, and then at night, we would go to the seashore then make a bonfire, and we would talk about life, then she would always tell me how she loves that moment with me, how she loves bonfire with me,"

Patuloy lang akong nakikinig sa kan'ya, at marahang hinaplos ang kan'yang kamay para iparamdam na nandito lang ako.

"I asked her why, what's with bonfire and why she loves it," putol n'ya, at bumuntong-hininga bago nagpatuloy.

"Do you know what she answered?"

Umiling ako.

"She said that bonfire is the only thing that makes her feel warm. That it makes her feel something, that it makes her feel life,"

He heaved a deep sigh, trying to stop his voice from breaking.

"I didn't understand what she meant back then, but now I do," his voice finally broke, and I know that sooner he will cry. Nilapitan ko s'ya at hinawakan ko ang kan'yang kamay.

"Because I'm feeling it, Raine. I am feeling it. The warmth. The life. I feel now that I am alive. The heat this bonfire brings, it wakes my soul up. Something I couldn't feel there. I feel lifeless there. And it's suffocating, hindi ko na ata kaya,"

Then a tear fell from his left eye, and nagsunod-sunod na sa pagtulo ang kan'yang mga luha.

Oh my dear, Dorzel. Niyakap ko s'ya at marahang hinagod ang kan'yang likod. Pareho kaming naging tahimik, at tanging hangin at ang kan'yang paghikbi lang ang naririnig.

Damn it. Hindi ko alam na mayroon s'yang dinadalang ganitong bigat. He always laughs, at wala yatang ibang alam kung hindi ang magbiro. So to see him like this, it breaks my heart. Ayaw kong makita ang bestfriend ko na ganito.

"I'm sorry. I promise, I will get you out of here. I promise,"

At hindi ko na rin napigilang umiyak pagkatapos kong sabihin 'yun. Ang hirap. Dahil sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung paano gawin 'yun, hindi ko alam kung makakaalis pa ba kami sa impyernong 'yun.