Behind A Smile

Chapter 29

Kabanata 29

"So, are you coming, or what?"

I heard Karina asked, and I couldn't think even more. I'm pacing back and forth, deciding if I should go to Tyrone's gig tonight.

I am really not certain if I should come. After the confession he made that night at the park, inaya ko na siyang umuwi. I think, things got a bit heated between us dahil doon lalo na sa bahagi ko. Hindi ko napigilan ang maging malamig sa kaniya habang hinahatid n'ya ako sa bahay.

"I'm sorry for my sudden confession. Hindi ko na napigilan. I was actually planning to confess on the right time, and in a very romantic place..." nilingon ko s'ya, at bahagyang tinitigan. He was very serious, no hint of humor in his face. "But, I got so caught up," sabi niya na agad kong inilingan.

"You shouldn't like me."

Nagsalubong ang kilay niya. "And why is that?"

"Just don't."

"But I already did..." napasinghap ako. "Matagal na," sa mababa at mahinang boses, sapat na para hindi ko marinig. Anong ibinubulong n'ya sa sarili?

Pero pinili ko nalang na hindi pansinin. Tumango lang ako, at nag-aambang buksan ang tarangkahan nang hinawakan n'ya ako sa siko. I flinched by his sudden touch.

"Lorraine..." his voice was hopeful, and sad.

"Thank you for the tickets. I'll see you tomorrow." tanging nasabi ko at tinanggal ang pagkakahawak niya sa siko ko.

"Pero-"

"Good night." at agad siyang tinalikuran, hindi na siya nilingon.

I sighed when I remembered what happened at that night. It's been days, and now it's Friday. Nakikita ko si Tyrone sa school, pero tanging tango lang ang ibinibigay ko sa kaniya. Hindi na din kaming masiyado nag-uusap, dahil abala na rin siya. He always send me messages, he calls, but I didn't response to any of it.

At tila napansin ni Karina 'yun, kung kaya't wala akong choice kundi sabihin sa kaniya ang nangyari. Siyempre noong una, ay talagang natuwa at kilig na kilig siya. Ngunit, kinalaunan, ay sinabi niya na dapat naman ay huwag kong iwasan 'yung tao, at kausapin ko. At saka, wala naman daw masama sa pag-amin. Ayaw ko pa daw nu'n, gusto ako ng mga pinapantasya ng maraming tao!

But it didn't matter to me.

And about the cold treatment, well, I was trying not to, but the bitterness I feel inside was too much I couldn't hide my emotions. Which, is something that's been giving me a lot of thinking. With him, I couldn't recognize myself. Parang may... nabago. I knew it wasn't me. I used to hide my real feelings, I used to do things alone, I used to drown in my own ocean of thoughts, I used to build walls. But, he defied them all. I don't know how he did, but one thing is for sure; I am really into him. Madly. Truly.

"Will you stop that? Nahihilo ako sayo, Zanaiah!"

Then I stopped. I put my index finger on my lower lip for further thinking. I should go, right? I'm sure he's expecting me. He even got me tickets in advance! Yes, two tickets. Sabi ni Tyrone, dinalawa n'ya daw so I can invite someone with me, and I chosed Karina to take with me.

And I'm sure right now, iniisip niya na hindi na nga ako dadalo. If I was in his position, siguro ay hindi na nga ako aasa.

Should I... come?

I also badly want to talk to him. I wanna say sorry. I wanna make it up to him. Mali naman yata talaga ang ginawa kong hindi pagpansin sa kan'ya. We're friends, after all.