She's Into Her

31 - Manacled

31 - Manacled

Ms. Rielle's POV:

/Para sa breaking news!/

/Babae, nakipaghiwalay na sa asawa nito matapos makipagrelasyon sa kabit ng asawa./

Upon hearing the latest headline, a searing pain rushes across my head, making my mouth and face crumple. It felt like someone had taken a knife to my skull, slowly slicing my head to pieces.

"Manong, can you change the stereo for me? Thank you," I politely asked my driver, referring to the station we are listening to. I then began massaging my temples in an effort to somehow decrease the horrible discomfort I was enduring.

"Mukhang wala po yata kayong tulog ulit, ma'am," he said. I just remained silent and did not bother to answer anymore as it was already evident on my face, especially the sinking of my eyes. If someone happens to get near me, surely it is noticeable.

For years now, I've been experiencing insomnia. It was as if, while the rest of the world was relishing the nighttime, I am experiencing the polar opposite. A tired exhale escaped from my lips remembering how long already when it began.

Not so long after I had fathomed that she was completely out of my life, I was then having consecutive dreams about her. Waking up in the middle of the night assuming that she had already come back as she had used to. But then all my hopes were dashed upon finding out it was just nothing but a pure wishful dream.

Yet, I couldn't tell if it was either a dream or a nightmare because, despite the fact that I was able to see her, it often puts me thereafter in worse situations. Perchance is my punishment for all of the cruel things I have done.

Eyes fixed on the window pane, it was not to my knowledge that the car had stopped, as I was once more immersed in my abyssal thoughts and just noticed how manong driver was already frantically switching the radio station that would ease my headache upon bumping into heavy traffic.

While I am aware that I could have simply asked him to turn off the radio if it triggers much of my headache, I know that this is the only way that he can also entertain himself while we are on a long drive. Also, that is for him not to feel drowsy too after fetching me early this morning.

My parents asked him to pick me up since they had a proposal for me to consider again, and I think I already knew what it was all about. In that regard, I can't help but sigh once again because they kept insisting on their suggestion to me despite the fact that they already knew what I would say, which was a resounding "hell no."

After a few minutes, he already stopped pressing the radio button. That became my cue to completely rest my mind and eyes in the meantime.

Slowly, my thoughts almost wandered into the darkness and I almost reached my sleep but immediately postponed as my drowsy eyes suddenly dilated because of the song that is currently playing.

Soon, the familiarity of pain wretched again in my chest and hapless scenarios instantly flashed before my eyes. Thus, my eyes softened with warm tears and I had no choice but to just tilt my head towards the head restraint and silently watch the busy pavements we were passing by as I exhaled like a soft breeze.

The song was none other than Taylor Swift's again. How peculiar. Why does this song have to be the one that is currently being played?

Even so, despite the bitterness I felt at how much the music coincided with my sudden relapse for the past few days, I remained silent and didn't bother to ask to switch the radio station anymore and just let the lyrics start to dance my thoughts away to the past.