ERROR

42

It is quiet for a few seconds. I don't dare to even bulge. The movie is still playing in the background but none of us even pays attention at this point. Both of us are too caught up in eachother.

'I don't know', River finally speaks after a long silence. His words surprise me. Our hands are no longer interlocked. There is a distance between us again as my body moves back to my previous place. He watches me as a wild animal.

'That's not an answer.'
'What do you want me to say ? That I all of a sudden fell in love with you and I totally forgot how your dad is my worst enemy ?'

His words hit me. bad. It feels as if someone has put a knife in my back. His words feel like betrayal. Even though I always knew that I couldn't trust him, every fucking time he betrayed me it still hurted. And now is not an exception. I should have never expected so much of River.

At the end of the day, if it wasn't for his revenge we would still have been strangers for eachother and I should had been living my lavish life without knowinh about the existence of my sister. Everything would have been perfect as always. Somehow I wish I had never met River. It is better to live in a perfect lie than in a hurtfull truth.

'Actually yes, I did think that some of this was real but I guess your just a really good liar.'

It is the last thing I say before standing up. Our eyecontact breaks as I turn around. My heave steps are heard through the whole appartement. I make my way to his room.

This was such a stupid idea.

Then my bag is filled with all my stuff again.

I should have never called him.

My jacket is already on me.

This wouldn't have ended well anyways.

I grab my car keys.

He will always end up using me.

Both my bagpack and bag are with me as I make my way to the hallway.

Leaving now is the best thing I can do.

My shoes are still placed there besides the big wooden front door.

This is what I need to do.

River seems to understand what is happening by my loud noises. I don't even hear him move. The tears form themselves as I unlock the front door, there is still nothing. So with my tears already streaming down my face, I smash the front door shut and get into the elevator.

~

No matter who it is, everyone hurts me. Anyone that I have loved hurted me and betrayed me. It is as if everytime someone breaks me, I have to pick up all the pieces by my self. It will always be like that, no matter where I go or what I do. No one will ever be there for me.

~

The reception is absolutely empty as it is already midnight. There is no sight of any guards nor the secretary from before. Everything is dead quiet. I make my way out of the building. The parking lot is pretty filled up with cars. I see a few young people pass by who probably came back from a party or something as they looked really drunk.

With the tears still streaming, I put my stuff into the back of my car. I am about to turn around to get into my seat when suddenly I am harshly smashed against my car. Two strong arms grab me by my waist. I am trapped in between my car and a strong body.

Then my eyes meet his again and it is as if everything is already forgotten. My tears stop streaming and so does my breathing. His eyes scan my messy face. His expression seems to soften as if my crying actually hits him.

'Angel', it is a soft whisper. And somehow River's voice calms me down. I start breathing again and this feeling of pleasure from before returns again. He came after me and I wonder why. But then I lose my calmness again once his hand softly touches my cheeck.

River swipes my tears away slowly while taking his time. I just stand there with my body against his while also still against my dad's red sportcar. My eyes scan over his beautiful face again while his are concentrated on my cheecks. The parking lot lights suit his face well.
I take my time to admire his beauty and so does he.

But then the hurt I felt just a minute ago returns and this time I won't let myself get hurt. He is here now but will he be here when he will have a chance to hurt my dad again ? The questions I ask myself over and over again with no answer. He refuses to give me that answer and deep down I am already guessing what it is.

He will always choose revenge over me.

As hard as it is, it the harsh truth. Those beautiful eyes I am admiring at the moment, will always betray me. And still after everything, a part of me hopes for him to choose me and give me the love that I need from him. The love I have been craving for since the moment I saw his beautiful face in the library parking lot.