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38

Once I hear my grandmother make her way to her room, I open my door slightly. There is no sight of anyone anymore. It is the perfect moment to leave now, so without making any sounds I grab my backpack and purse and almost run down the stairs. I also make sure to lock my room so my won't investigate in there.

The front door quietly unlocks and before I know it I am outside without anyone noticing. Then I unclock the car and throw my bags in to the back. I quickly get in and with one last glance at the house I grew up in, the engine turns on and I roar out of this fucking place.

I have no idea where I am going to stay but one thing is sure, I am not coming back before I have reflected on it all. There is just too much that happend today and I don't know how to deal with it, for now. But I am strong enough to surpass this, I just need time to heal and think. And with my dad in the room besides me, is not the best way to do that.

Also I have absolutely no idea where I am going. Sleeping over at Neomi's place is not an option as her parents will immediately find out and call my dad, it's the same with Amara's parents. They all have something with my dad and they won't lie to him for me. Staying at a hotel is also not an option because my dad can easily locate my card and where I payed, if he hasn't blocked my card yet. I sigh and furrow my eyebrows in disappointment. This is bad. This is really fucking bad. I guess I will have to stay in my car while I am trying to find a place to live. I need a place where my dad won't find me. Then an idea comes up in my mind. A crazy idea I may add but I have no other option for now. I grab my phone and dial a very well known number. It doesn't take long before he answers and when he does, all the boldness from before has left my body. My breath is hitched in my throat and I have no idea why I decided that calling the enemy, who may not be the enemy anymore is a good idea. But here I am talking to River West again, it seems like wherever I go, I will always follow him.

'Angel ?' His soft voice is heard through my phone. I can tell by his voice he is surprised that I just randomly call him, especially after the uptight conversation we had today after school ended. It has only been a few hours or so and here I am hearing his voice again. I tilt my head to the side so that my phone is now against my right ear while I drive with one hand. It is not somehing I haven't done before. I don't answer him. I have no idea how, so he speaks again and this time with an annoyed tone clearly heard in his voice.

'Listen if you called to tell me you won...' he doesn't have the chance to end his sentence as I already cut him of.

'I didn't win, in fact I never felt worse in my entire life.'

That's a lie, there was a time where I felt much worse then I do right now. The time after my mother died where the worst few months of my life. It did go better with me after some time but the scars on my heart are still there and I don't think they will ever compleatly fade. That is the sad truth of losing someone. They may not be with you anymore, but they are always on your mind and you can't stop thinking about them.

It haunts you every fucking day, the things you could have done to prevent their death.

'What are you talking about.'

He seems beyond confused and I don't blame him at all. I am just as confused as he is. This is all I wanted, to be with my dad and get him out of jail. That was what I was thinking about all those weeks that he was gone. But now, once it finally happend, it doesn't feel good at all. In fact I feel like I should have never protected him. I feel even worse then that day that he was arrested because now I know what really was going on in his life. Now I found out about the real Robert Rodriguez. The man that I call my dad is not exactly how I thought he was. Goddamn he has another daughter, he cheated on his wife and he made such enemies that have put him in jail. He doesn't love me more then he loves Sophia and even though I really don't want to accept it, I know he cares more for her and spends much more time with her. I don't remember the last time we went somewhere together, if we did it was only for a stupid meet up with his buisness partners and their families, he was gone all the time and I thought that was to give me a beautiful life and future but he probably spend a lot of his 'work' in Greenpeace ad that fact affects me a lot because where was I ? Why didn't he think about me ? Yes I wasn't in a mentall health centrum nor had a fucked up childhood but I was hurt too and I lost my beloved mother, didn't he see that I needed his love also ? Was it so hard to just spend at least more then thirty minutes with me.

'Sophia Rodriguez', I whisper and it is almost inaudible but I am pretty sure River heard it. Those are two simple names. His sister name and my second name. Something that should have never happend. We share a sister. My dad and his mother had an affair and from there everything with his family went down hill. Only Sophia found about it way later when everything was already done. She has been treated like garbage her whole life. But now she has a dad that loves her way more then his other daughter always tried to be the perfect daughter. And where did that get me ? I am compleatly alone and needed by absolutely no one. It stays quiet for a few moments and the only thing that is heard are my heavy breaths through the whole car. The tears form thereself in my eyes already. I softly sigh as one tears rolls down my cheeck. No one sees me crying and no one understands the insane pain I am feeling right now. It eats me up alive.

'He told you.'

'No, I visited Sophia and she told me everything I have been wanting to know. Instead of you who just used me without even giving a fucking explanation', I tell him with now a shaky voice. I don't dare to sob even though the tears are one by one streaming down my face, I don't want him to hear me cry. Also I am still driving around town with no plan at all. This is how crazy shit can get right now. This morning I hoped and prayed my dad would be released and now I have no place to stay anymore. Going home is not an option anymore. 'I gave you an explanation.'

'No no you didn't, you just said that my dad destroyed your family but you didn't care to explain that we share a fcking sister and that our parents had an affair.'

'I don't own you shit.'

'Stop punishing my dad for all of this just because you cannot acccept the fact that your dad destroyed the life of our sister.'

'He is a good person and he would never do that, Sophia is mentally not okay and she imagines things that never even happend. Also she is not your sister so stop calling her like that.'

'Oh fucking hell River, do you hear yourself ? John West is an evil person wo destroyes life because his life didn' work out. He despised Sophia because she wasn't his daughter. Ad now he uses you to destroy my dad's life.'

'You're lying.'

'I am not.'

'Yes you are. You live with a manupalitive lying little bitch in your house and you're too blind to see it. And Sophia has been manupilated by him as well.'

'Funny, because I just ran away from home and no longer live with that manupilative lying little bitch.'