Capturing Mine

Chapter 30: I'm Sorry

Jacob's POV

Nahihiya ako na nagsisisi sa ginawa ko. I should have not kissed her. She's in so much pain at that time without me knowing the reason. I just... I just want her to stop from crying. I can't stand seeing her shedding tears, but it seems like I caused her a tear too. The morning I saw her face after that night, I felt more guilt. She looks dreary. Her face looks cheerless, her eyes were so puffed that it made her look even more lifeless. I offered her a lift 'cause her car's in their company but she refused. Magkasama nga kami sa loob ng elevator pero parang mag-isa lang din ako kasi hindi niya ako kinakausap. I wanted to initiate a talk more but am afraid to be ignored. I felt bad when she got out to the ground floor and so I moved fast to get my car from parking. Nagmadali akong lumabas sa parking area para sana salubungin pa siya at piliting magpahatid sa akin pero may naunang sasakyan nang huminto sa harapan niya. Kaya ba ayaw niyang magpahatid sa akin ay dahil sa may susundo sa kaniya? I felt rejected and bad that day. Sino na naman ang sumundo sa kaniya? It is not Andrew's car nor the other girls.

It's been three days since that morning and what happened remained mystery to me. Gustong-gusto ko siyang pagalitan kasi sa kung kani-kaninong sasakyan na naman siya sumasakay pero hindi ko puwedeng gawin iyon. She is freaking mad and avoiding me, for fucking sake!

I am with Martina right now and I should be happy that I had another moment with her but I am not. Bukod sa nami-miss ko na ang pangungulit ni beb, I still feel a little irritated to what I have witnessed inside Matthew's bedroom. And now, what? She invited me to hang with her 'cause her boyfriend which is my cousin is busy? Tsk!

But I have to admit, just seeing her right in front of my face moves me. Seeing how beautiful and wonderful she is will never fail to amuse me. Mukha namang masaya siya na makasama ako kahit na sinusungitan ko siya na ikinatuwa ng puso ko kahit na paano. 'Yun nga lang, kung ano-anong pumapasok sa utak ko. Kung wala lang sana akong ibang iniisip ngayon ay mas naging masaya pa ang pagkikita namin. Kasalanan 'to ni Matthew eh, he should have locked his bedroom... argh! Hindi, kasalanan ito ni Diane because she keeps on ignoring me! Hindi ba niya ako nami-miss? Gan'on na ba kasama ang ginawa kong panghahalik sa kaniya para magalit siya nang pagkatagal-tagal? Para hindi niya ako kausapin at walang kabalak-balak na kausapin? Masama na bang halikan ko ang bestfriend — Damn! We're bestfriends! We kissed by accident or by our friends' gimmick, or even for proving a thing while we were fooling, or when she's too drunk, you know, on the island? But when I kissed her, that moment was serious.

Am I in a big trouble? Was it that really bad? Fuck! What was I thinking? I should have just comforted her right, not by kissing her. And when she slaps me, that... that's my first time to get slapped and it fucking hurts. I don't mind being hurt physically, but it hurt me emotionally. I just received a solid slap on the face, coming from the hand of the very precious woman in my life, my beb.

“I'm such a terrible person,” I muttered.

“You are,” she said.

Napatingin ako sa kaniya nang dahil sa pagsang-ayon niya. She has a very gentle smile on her face that could melt anyone's heart upon seeing it. Nakalimutan kong magkasama nga pala kami. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako kasabay ng pagbaba ng tingin ko sa goblet na hawak ko.

“You are and you will be,” makahulugang sabi niya bago tumayo. “But that is if you don't fix it.”

I remained staring at her as she readied herself for leaving. What is she even talking about? Wala naman akong ikinuwento sa kaniya para magsalita siya.

“Stop confusing yourself, Jacobabe,” she said as she chuckled.

Well, what she said just confused me even more. I don't get what she is talking about. Is she crazy?