Bittersweet ~ Eremin ~ Modern AU

Chapter 3 - Dead To Me

Warning(s): Death, dark topics, excessive swearing
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Eren Jaeger (16)
Winter of Sophomore Year
Sunday, February 9th, 4:17 pm

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Panting, I eventually ended my run at my front door step. I placed my hands on my head, pacing around to let my heart rate slow, feeling the sweat that glistened on my skin drip down my forehead. Almost every part of my tank top had stuck to my body, my shorts starting to ride up on me. I took a moment to pull out my phone, pause my music and see how I looked. I took a quick picture, my hand in my hair to brush back my bangs.

   Not gonna lie. That's total eye candy. I'll have to post that to Insta later.

   I then looked to our front window and saw my mom standing at the kitchen counter.

Food!

I raced up my front door steps with vigor and quickly unlocked the door with my keys and-!

She wasn't preparing dinner. She was preparing herself a glass of wine.

She did nothing but give me the sideways glance with her blood shot, puffy eyes. I pulled out my air pods and placed them in their case, expecting something bad to happen.

"Hey..." I lightly said, walking up to her and intervening with her glass so I could pull her into my arms. One arm wrapped around her upper waist and the other hand cupped her head. She returned the hug and dug one of her hands into my hair, despite me being sweaty, and gently massaged at my scalp. My eyes rolled back a bit, groaning "Mooommm."

Yeah... I have an extremely sensitive scalp...

I could feel her tears roll down my neck as she rested her chin on my shoulder. She remained dead silent.

"How about we have a movie night tonight?" I asked her, trying so desperately to pull her away from her drink. She will not end up like... that man.

"I'm not really up for that. I'm sorry, baby." She groaned, her arms loosening from my neck. With a sigh, I pulled away from and and innocently asked "What's got you upset?" I placed my hands on my hips, already knowing the answer.

Mom just looked away and cried, shaking her head lightly."I went into his office again..."

My brows furrowed. "Mom, get over it. He's gone. You don't need him. You have us and that's all you need." I stated, trying not to sound too aggressive.

Carla looked at me, anger starting to shift in her eyes. "I need him to help pay the bills , pay taxes, and support you two. I-I want my love back." She hissed slightly.

"Well he apparently didn't need us! He left us, remember? He fucking offed himself in his office because he was fucking cheating on you and he 'couldn't take it any longer!' This is why I can't even understand why you mope around all the time because he broke your heart!! He's a piece of shit!! Dead to me, that son of a bitch!!!" I started to yell at her, my hands flying around to gesticulate.

"No, Eren. He was cheating on another women!" Carla's voice cracked, her voice becoming weaker. "Oh! That's rich! How the hell does that make it any better that he 1: cheated on another women with you, 2: got married to you and still saw this other women, 3: already had Zeke and didn't tell you he even existed, and 4: didn't even have the guts to tell you what he's done?! The list goes on..."

"You weren't in love with him! You don't know what that feels like!"

"You have NO IDEA HOW I FUCKING FEEL!!! If he loved you, then-!"

"ENOUGH!" She boomed as she slammed her fist on the counter, eyes flaring with rage. A heated silence filled the air, tension built between our eye contact.

Carla pointed her finger at me, he hand shaking as she said "I know you- you hated him... But you have no right to tell me how I grieve... No... RIGHT!" She jabbed her finger towards me for emphasis, soon wiping her cheeks. My lips sealed in a tight line, huffing and puffing through my nostrils as I watched the women start to deconstruct in front of me.

"I don't want you to hate me as well. I love you, honey, but I'm just having a rough time right now..." She rubbed at her forehead. Pet names weren't going to weaken me now.

She then looked up at me in realization, her lip quivering. "I know we haven't talked much ever since him passing... I-I want to change that because I feel like I horrible mother not asking if y-you're okay? You seem to be acting differently." She attempted to walk forward and stroke my cheek. But I scoffed at her words and pulled away, using my hand to turn her arm away from my face. I simply shook my head, unable to open up. "Now you ask. That's grand. Get a fucking therapist already."

I quickly turned around and started to speed walk over to the stairs. "Enough with the swearing!" I could hear my mother cry. As I exited the kitchen, I jumped and looked to my right to Mikasa hiding behind the wall and listening to us. I laughed in a very pissed off way and bolted up the stairs, bee lining straight for my bedroom.

I gave one last look to see Mikasa and Carla at the end of the stairs. Mikasa had her arm around Carla, consoling her as they looked up the stairs at me. I finally hissed "The show is fucking over" and slammed the door behind me, locking it.

Pressing my back against the door, I could hear my mother's muffled cries. My breathe quickened, heart racing as I listened in horror. Grabbing on to my hair, I pulled and looked down at the ground, bitterly hissing "Fuck!"

I stood there for half a minute, trying to calm myself since I felt there was a panic attack stepping on the backs of my heels. Eventually, I let go of my sensitive scalp which was now stinging like a bitch. I stiffly walked over to my bed, where my phone started to buzz. I took that phone and slammed it on my nightstand, now crashing down on my bed.

"Fucking hell!!" I cursed as I punched at my pillow until I wasted all my energy. I eventually became a rag doll and everything collapsed, pulling a pillow close to hug as I sobbed over the buzzing phone.

"You were never there for me, dad! All you did was wallow in your own pity! I hate you! I hate you!!" I sobbed helplessly, giving the pillow my last good couple of wacks before turning into a pile of gelatin.

My phone started ringing for the second time, but I didn't even notice. The phone screen lit up with "Armin Arlert calling."

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Writers Note: I decided that having Carla dead wasn't going to fly in this fic so why not make Grisha the one who's dead? Just to make it a bit different.