Bittersweet ~ Eremin ~ Modern AU

Chapter 27 - Regain Dignity

Warning:
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Eren Jaeger (17)
Fall of Junior Year
Sunday, December 20th, 1:09pm

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   I waited and watched the blond walk out for every second until I heard the door close behind him, hearing my mother start to slowly deconstruct into tears. Rolling my eyes, I start walking away.

   "I didn't dismiss you yet." Mom's broken voice quivered, making me stop in my tracks. Clenching my fist, I slowly spun myself around and tried my best to wipe off my annoyed expression.

   Carla wiped away her tears and took a second to compose herself, now hugging her chest. "H-How long has this been going on..?"

   "Since last month..." I quickly answered, seeing she was a bit more pleased, in a way, to hear that. "You, um... You two haven't had unprotected s-sex..?"

   "Jesus Christ, mom! No! And he's not a girl! It's not like he'd get pregnant!" I threw my hands up in the air, scoffing at her. "Armin isn't like even that! We're taking it slow. Ugh... Why am I even explaining this to you? This is the first time you've taken the time to actually show concern for what's going on in my life just because you're probably worried you're not going to get biological grand kids. Or worried that 'I'm a sinner for being gay.' Or that I'm 'going to hell.' Fine. Give me all of that bullshit but for fuck sake, let me be with him!" I ranted, almost yelling so much that my throat started to hurt.

   Carla was extremely taken back from what I said, placing her hand on her heart as she recoiled from me. "STDs are a thing, Eren! Look, I'm sorry that I haven't been the perfect mother but—"

   "No, no no no. Look. There is no 'but!' You can give me any fucking reason but I wont give a shit."

   "Watch your tongue young man!!"

   "No!" I laughed in disbelief, letting my arms drop to the side with a slap. "Stop making it all about you when you never even try to tune into my life for once!"

   "Can't you see I'M TRYING TO?!" Carla thundered, panting heavily.

   I froze on her, my furious eyes glaring right at her soul.

   Carla's skin started to glisten with sweat, visibly shaking as her hands clawed at her collar bone. "I've been trying to fix that but you've learned not to listen! You ignore me like I'm so predictable. I know that all I do is sulk and if I had the money, I spend it on a therapist—"

   "Then stop using it on wine!"

   "You know, it's not all about the wine, with me! It's bills. It's taxes. It's food, furniture, Christmas presents for you, clothes for you, money for you!-Stuff to make your life more bearable because I can't find any other way to make you happy. To make you love me again..." Carla took a couple steps forward, her voice genuinely fighting to stay strong.

   "The phrase 'money can't buy happines' exists for a reason. Plus I never said I didn't love you." I mumbled as I looked away, my arms crossed.

   "You certainly show you don't. And I get why. I've been a horrible mother to you. But can you please just acknowledge that I'm desperately trying to change that?" She almost spoke in a whisper by now.

  I was fighting with myself wether to join the side of compassion or dismiss her again. Truly, I didn't want to brush her off. But the urge to was so strong. She was trying to make a right. But she was also trying to get close to me which made me want to run away. I don't want to talk anymore!

   Unfolding my arms, I twisted my torso back around to face her, huffing through my nostrils. "Fine. I acknowledge it." I threw my hands up, making it very clear that's all I was offering.

  Watching her sputter out her next broken sentence, I just turned around and walked away out of boredom and grief. I don't even want to hear her voice anymore. And like hell I'm turning my electronics in. I'm going to try and text Armin.