Bittersweet ~ Eremin ~ Modern AU

Chapter 5 - The Letter

Warning(s): Discrimination, Slurs
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Armin Arlert (16)
Winter of Sophomore Year
Monday, February 10th, 11:45pm

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   Mikasa tapped my shoulder, curiously looking at me as I stared at my lunch bag, lips sealed in a fine line. My hands clutched a folded letter who's flaps hovered up and down due to my shaky leg.

   "You're shaking the whole table, Ar." Mikasa whispered, finally catching my attention. I came back to planet Earth, seeing that I was in my lunch room sitting with my nerd friends at our bench. Chaos surrounded us in the sea of pubescent teens.

   "Oh, sorry." I sighed, blinking as I felt my contacts have gotten dry from all the staring. "Hyping yourself up?" She asked with a sweet smile, rubbing my shoulder a bit. My lips hung open ajar as if I was going to say something, but I only managed to nod my head at her. "Your shaky leg syndrome is making it obvious that your nervous about something." She pointed out knowingly, opening my lunch and setting stuff out to encourage me to eat.

   I soon look around to see that my friends were all smirking at me. "C'mon, love bird. Who's the letter to?" Sasha cooed at me, propping her head up on the table with both her palms, batting her eyes at me. I snorted and said "Not you. I'm gay, remember?"

   "I know that, silly. Who's the lucky guy? It's not fair only Mikasa knows." Sasha pouted, Connie rolling his eyes beside her. "If he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't want to talk." Connie bluntly said, giving her shoulder a little punch. She let out a little 'hey' and shoved him back.

   "I think I know who." Marco piped up, chuckling lightly as he looked over towards the jock table. I let out a flustered sigh and said "You guys will find out soon enough. I'm just... I don't know how to give it to him." I groaned.

   "Give what to who?" I heard a voice say behind me as well as a hand being pressed on to my shoulder. I immediately shoved the letter in my jacket, knowing exactly who it was.

   I spun around, smiling nervously at the brunet who propped himself up with each of his hands and Mikasa and I. "Sup, nerds." Eren grinned smugly. "Hey, dork." I returned a grin, rolling my eyes at the brunet. The others replied with a variety of hellos.

   Eren used to sit with us all the time. That is before his reputation started to build and got adopted by his football team. Today was the spring pep rally so all the jocks were wearing their jerseys. Our school colors were white, green, and navy blue. The jersey complemented Eren's emerald eyes perfectly.

I wont be able to go see him tonight because I have a therapy session.

   "I'm dying over there." Eren groaned, hanging his head down as he sighed. "Then just sit with us. We can make room." Mikasa slid away from me, making room for the brunet to sit right next to me.

   Eren gave our shoulders a pat and straddled the bench, facing towards me. I couldn't help but look over Eren's shoulder to see Mikasa mouthing "wow" with a pissed off expression. Chuckling lightly, I made eye contact with the brunet who was looking at me intently. "Uuuh, hi?" I nervously chuckled, flushing a bit pink.

   "I was waiting for you to continue talking. You were going to give something to someone?" He leaned in a bit closer, suspiciously smiling at me. I could feel my spine arch up, surprised that he was invading my personal space at a time like this. "O-Oh... Um... I have a late essay t-to hand in to Mr. Smith." I sputtered, nervously smiling.

   Eren sat back a bit and then looked at my hand that was hidden in my jacket. "You mean you didn't digitally type an essay and you're unsuspiciously hiding it in your jacket?" The brunet bluntly said, causing the table to chuckle.

   "O-Oh, yeah." I laughed along with them, taking it out again after making sure my fingers secured the flaps down. "I didn't want you to snag it from me, cheater."

   "I already handed it in, slacker. BOOM!" Eren mimicked and explosion with his hands, leaning purposely back into Mikasa who shoved him off her. He came flying at me, causing me to put my hands out to catch him, crumpling the letter. I gasped and tried to smooth out the wrinkles, embarrassed by how everyone was still laughing. Except Eren and Mikasa.

   "Shit... sorry." Eren muttered, trying to help me out. But I yanked the letter away and assured. "It's fine! It's fine. Don't worry about it." Finally, I place the letter into my lunch box and sighed, shaking nervously.

   A voice carried it's self to our lunch table, beckoning Eren over. "Did you get the money yet?!" It said.

   Eren bit his lip and said quietly "Do you have a $1 on you? The guys are short on money for ice cream."

   I gave him the 'seriously' look, making Eren getting up from the bench with his hands up. "Okay, okay! Sorry I asked..."

   I sighed and eventually pulled my wallet out, calling "Here" before he could walk away. Eren's eyes lit up and smiled at me, taking the bill gladly. "I'll pay you back!" He nodded to me, soon returning to the jock table. I waved to him as he walked away, staring at him maybe a bit too long.

   "Ho-ly shit. It's all clear now." Sasha's voice interrupted my dreamy stare, snapping me back to reality. I turn back around to see them all grinning at me. Mikasa, wearing a proud smile as she ate some of her lunch. "O-Oh, c'mon guys..." I groaned, hiding my face into my palms as they laughed and cooed at me.

   "You can't tell anyone!" I raised my voice, looking back at them with a desperate expression. Sasha and Connie, like twins, zipped their lips shut.

   Okay... Now more people know about my man crush. Fantastic.

   My eyes darted around my lunch as I picked at my food, slowly eating the apple slices my Papa packed me. My brain was trying to formulate a plan.

   "Okay... So basically all your friends know. The chance of someone spilling the beans is higher. Just what I didn't want. This is good. This is great. Everything's peachy..." The voice in shock my head muttered around, trying to process what I should do.

   Then finally, I realized what needed to be done.

   I took the letter back out of my lunch box and shoved it in my inside pocket to my jacket, eventually getting up quickly and walking over to where Eren was. I could hear my friends gasp and talk amongst each other, making my nerves even more jittery.

   Approaching the jock table was basically like asking to get my head beat in. But I wasn't planning on staying long. I cleared my throat, causing heads to turn. Smug grins and glares beat down at me. Girls snickered. But I canceled out everyone as if I could control my optic nerve to block out everyone. Everyone but Eren, who was in the middle of it all. Jocks, non-jocks, and preppy girls alike weren't going to shoot me down. The only one I was worried about shooting me down was him.

   "I gotta talk to you." I said in a stern voice, motioning to the cafeteria doors where I then started to walk to. Eren remained silent, his buddies all whispering amongst themselves.

   I waited patiently outside for him, feeling my heart pound against my chest viciously.

   Maybe I don't need this letter after all?