Bittersweet ~ Eremin ~ Modern AU

Chapter 12 - Ocean Eyes

Warning(s): Discrimination, slurs, abuse
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Eren Jaeger (17)
Fall of Junior Year
Tuesday, October 13th, 11:52am

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  I don't want to eat. I don't want to be here. I want to go home. I've felt nauseous all day. This is hell. I'm in fucking hell. And I'm friends with the demons.

   Armin didn't deserve any of this. And worst of all, I just sat back and watched... I just watched him get beat for doing absolutely nothing!

   He loves me... How could I just sit back and watch him get beaten down..? Knowing how I feel now—

   Wait... No no no... That's wrong. Just because he loves me, doesn't mean I do too. Even if I have thought through this before even knowing how he felt, that's nothing! I was just being curious. But I'm not curious any more. I'm his friend.

   What a great 'friend' I've become...

   Half of lunch was over and I was just staring at the table quietly. As if I was frozen in time, nothing could touch me. If anyone tried to say something, I didn't notice. Everything was blurry and muted. Distorted, like a camera not in focus.

   The hurt had turned into nothing. An emptiness...

   The only thing that could break me from my distant staring was Armin who walked into the lunch room, darting to Mikasa who brought him into her embrace immediately. A couple minutes later, I could see Mikasa glaring at me. But I was deadpanned. That was until Armin looked over. I looked to the opposite side, gulping harshly as I then saw Jean, laughing as the blond looked over. "He wouldn't even fight back? Jesus... That took a slice out of his dignity."

   My hands curled on the side of the table, eyes widening in rage. Heart pumping. If that horse face doesn't shut his mouth...

   "- What? What kind of philosophy is that? If you're hit, you fight back. It's merely self defense. I thought he was smart."

   Armin has never stooped the the bully's level... It's admirable. Something that I could never do.

   "- And c'mon. A physical note? Damn. How fucking dumb is this kid really?"

   Armin would always just sit there and take it, shouting out the truth and never back down on what he believed in.

   "- to think he though he ever had a chance getting with someone like Eren."

   "Shut up." I hissed finally, looking at him with a deadly glare.

   Jean's head snapped over to me as well as the others, spying at me like hawks. "Um. I'm sorry. What?"

   "Did I stutter?"

   Jean and a couple other laughed. "We're on your side, dumbass."

   "I don't fucking care! Just fucking shut up, already."

   "Heh... Eren, I don't understand why you still care for him. He's fucking weird. He actually wrote that note! Can you believe it?! Even I thought it was fake but he straight up admitted it!"

   "Enough. You know nothing about him except how good he is at writing paid essays." Some of Jean's friends chuckled and shrugged. They know it's the truth.

   "We saw how you acted. You couldn't even look at him. You and I both know that you just hang around him because you pity him. You're just too 'kind-hearted' to admit it. Just do the right thing and stop worrying already!" Jean nonchalantly took a bite from his pear.

   That's fucking it.

   I got up from my chair, towered over Jean, twisted my torso and lifted my fist, using all the momentum I could gather and followed through with my punch, sending my fist flying at Jean's head.

   Kristien was knocked right back out of his chair, gasps sounding through the cafeteria with a domino effect.

   Sadly, I only hit Jean's neck, ejecting the pear bite he was swallowing out from his mouth. I was aiming for the ear. Eyes like fire, I bitterly kicked my foot into Jean's side and watched him squirm and choke.

   A circle of kids crowded us like thirsty animals, cheering and chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

   I bent down and grabbed Jean by the shirt, slamming him into the table which collapsed under his weight. Staggering, the dirty blond stood up. And I allowed his to get his barrings. I craved his expression. The way he looked at me, disappointed that he was loosing.

   I watched him charge at me, hands grasping on to my shoulders. He was trying to throw me off to the side, throttling at my shoulders. I staggered back a bit and used one foot to place back, my thumbs pressing into his collarbone so he couldn't get any closer. "You fucker!!" I could hear him scream.

   But I soon felt my leg fall from under me. He delivered a harsh blow to my shin, making me vulnerable. "Fucking fight back, Jaeger!" He screamed at me. I was dancing on one leg now, seeing him reeling his fist back as if he was going straight for the head.

   Thinking fast, I lunged my self towards him, hands back on his shoulder to use my injured leg and ram my knee into his nuts, leaving him completely immobilized as he fell to the ground, gasping. The crowd was all grimacing at the nasty fall Jean took, eventually settling down in silence as they waited in anticipation.

   I was the last one standing. Hunched over, panting, and putting my weight on my right leg. But did I really win..?

   "The-The show... is OVER!" I growled, looking around at the cameras that pointed at me.

   I soon heard voices echo around me.

   "Holy shit..."

   "He just took down Kristien!"

   "Wonder if he said something to upset his boyfriend."

   "He's so strong!"

   Everything started to feel like a lucid dream. The world at my finger tips. A broken down world that I helped create.

   Stuck in this headspace where I couldn't even feel myself being forcibly pulled out of the cafeteria by staff. The yelling just bounced in my head like a rubber ball in a dryer, just bouncing and spinning around and around. Adrenaline drugging me into this sensitive parallel universe where everything was quiet. No one was looking at me. No more questions or criticisms. Just numbness. A comatose, nonchalant existence that I crave, grazing my finger tips in a tantalizing manner.

   The lights started to get real low... I could feel gravity starting to swallow me whole.

   The last image I saw were a pair of illuminating blue crystals.

   No matter how hard I tried... No matter what I do or think. Those damned eyes follow me... Engraved into my head. Ocean eyes.