A Mother's Pride

Chapter 31

Mmampho's POV

The queue is very long. I have been waiting here for half an hour and I am starting to feel my throat dry up from dehydration. It was kind of stupid of me not to bring a bottle of water knowing exactly how the heat is. I guess I did not think that so many parents would do a late registration. I thought I was the only irresponsible mother that existed.

The school is not fancy like Mailyn Combined School but it is something and besides, it was his choice. They do not require any fees at this school.

The queue starts getting shorter and I hear one parent complaining about the heat. She looks right around Mavis' age, has a bob-wig on that is black but has maroon ends, and she has a red matt lipstick on. She is wearing a black skirt that lies just below the knees and her green ANC t-shirt is halfway down her butt. Who leaves a house dressed like that? I don't have nice clothes or whatever but at least I dress like a sane person.

"What time is it?" She turns to me to ask.
I take out my small phone and check.
"It's quater to one." I tell her.

"Oh my. I have been waiting here for two hours now." I felt bad for her but I did not know how to respond so I chose to keep quiet.

"My son failed grade eight, so he didn't want to be made fun of at his old school so that's why I am registering him at a new school." She says. Even though I didn't ask, I am glad to know that we are going through the same thing.

"Coincidentally, my son did too." I say it with so much joy and it's shocking. But I only said it like that because Lesedi doesn't have to feel alone like he thought he would. He would have a friend that gets where he comes from.

"Oh, what's your son's name?"

"Lesedi, and yours?"

"Kabelo."

"Okay. How did you deal with it?" I ask. Suddenly I enjoy chatting to this woman. I mean, it's always great talking to somebody who is in your shoes, that way they understand you perfectly and does not judge you.

"He...he cried and was really upset. I just told him that it is not the end of the world and that everything happens for a reason. It's his chance to make it all better." So I am the only parent who thought a little push was good for my son?

"But he was crying because I beat him up first. I mean, how else is he supposed to learn?"

"He did not deliberately fail." I strongly suggested.

"You don't study and fail. How does that even happen? He must have done something wrong." She says.

"Sometimes it's not their fault. Things happen."

"Well teenagers think it's better to please friends or fit in and stuff and I feel like he is like that as well and I mean, that can be the only reason why he failed. I keep telling him, "stop having so many friends, they don't wish you good. At least not all of them.""

"Hm." She just made me think, could that be the reason my son failed? Because back home he didn't fail, if anything he always did great. Maybe when he came this side, peer pressure got to him and all he wanted was to fit in with all these people. Or the new environment just drove him crazy.

Last night I was also thinking about how high school and primary school are so different. That he had to get used to new teachers and new teaching methods. He had to get used to the environment and the new people. Some people don't just adapt that easily. Perhaps adapting was hard for Lesedi. He should have told me if that was the case.

But when he called me out on how bad of a parent I am and how self-absorbed I am, he did not mention any of that. He just mentioned how messed up our lives are and he blames me for all of it. I know it is my fault but hearing my son say it really hurt and it made me think of how it never crossed my mind that my actions affect my children especially in terms of getting into relationships.

It may take long. I mean like, a really, really long time but I am going to do anything to earn that mother of the year award.

What makes a good mother anyway?

I know I got the love. The kind of love I got for my children is the ordinary kind. It is the kind of love that would move heaven and earth for my child if I had the power. That I would give up my life just so my babies can live happily. And if anybody or anything threatens the life of my children, they are dead. I think every mother has that for their children and that is why I call it ordinary. I love my children so much, they have been with me through this struggle from the start and we are going to finish it together. I may not show it all the time but I really love my children.

What mother doesn't love her children anyway? I think that even the worst people on earth, love their children. And maybe even people with self-hate, got mega love for their children. It's in a mother's nature to naturally love her children, from the moment the children are born. It just comes naturally. Nobody has to teach you. Now that is the only thing that love at first sight exists in. When you hear your child cry for the first time after escaping your womb, because then it assures you that the baby is alive and most probably healthy. When you know that the labour pains that went on for hours, were definitely worth it, because you just brought a new being unto this earth. And when you hold it, and look at it and you look for the features that the baby inherited from you. Then you start imagining a whole journey that you got with the child. That's motherly love and nobody has to teach you how to love your kids.

And even though giving birth to Naledi was too painful for me, she was still my gift and I could not wait to hold her. I love them both and maybe I'm not good at showing it but I will try extra hard.