A Mother's Pride

Chapter 54

Chris' POV

When we get to the restaurant, we choose the round table that is directly under the light. I sit down then Mmampho sits across me.

The restaurant is full. I look around the busy tables; there is an old couple eating side by side, one glass of wine each, studiously bent over their meals, a group of young women in their twenties collapsing with helpless giggles, I think they are here to celebrate as well, a family and their teenage children and middle-aged men in their business suits.

I let myself soak in the ambient music for a few moments, wondering what the words are.
Mmampho fidgets and fixes the sleeve of her dress. She then peruses the menu.

"Order anything you want." I tell her and she does not seem pleased by my offer at all.

"Only if you let me pay for the drinks." She says with so much confidence.

"I don't want to be bothering. I am the one who asked you out and we are celebrating you, you don't have to--."

"Chris, don't. I am paying for the drinks okay?" She interrupts me.

"Okay." Feisty! Just like I remember.

We order drinks and start catching up on the past few months of each other's lives that we missed. About my mother and Nina and that they came to my house for Christmas, and how I was a workaholic after we broke up. She tells me about how she had to deal with Lesedi after they found out that he failed the grade, how Naledi enjoys staying at her father's and how hard it was to convince Lesedi to be Thabo's donor.

"How are you?" I ask her.

"You know, with achieving all that, it feels awesome. Work is great, school and the kids are happy and--"

"No Mmampho, I mean, how are you?"

"I am... I am really great." I know Mmampho's fake smile from anywhere and even though she thinks that she is a good liar, she can never lie about how she really feels.

"That's not the truth is it? Tell me, what's up?"

She takes a sip of her wine. After putting the glass down, she sighs heavily, as if she has been holding this breath for months. Letting it out, her shoulders relax then she purses her lips. It is still so pleasing to watch her do anything.

"No, no it's not. Truth is I am not okay Chris." The corners of my lips curve into a smile, not because she is not okay but because I think she is about to confide in me. She pauses and I think she is contemplating whether she should tell me what's wrong or like always, keep her guard up. She looks at me then shows me that the waiter is next to us.

"We will order another round of the same drinks." She says and it makes me smile. The waiter nods and walks away.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Everything. I cannot do this anymore. It's too much for me to handle. The three jobs and school at night, what was I thinking taking it all at once? I thought I could do it but I just can't anymore. I cannot even study. I sleep during classes and when I am supposed to be studying. I just have a lot on my plate and that does not include spending time with my children because I hardly see them." She sounds so drained.

"I am so sorry. I wish I could help." I don't think I said the words that she wanted to hear. "Don't be too hard on yourself, don't feel the pressure to be perfect." What am I even saying? I am not good at this advising thing.

She gulps down her drink and bites the corner of her lip, not moving her gaze from the flower center piece.

"I want to know how you stay on top of things." She says after a few minutes of silence between us. The melancholic music that the man is playing on stage is making this situation a lot worse. The atmosphere is too sad now.

"When I was in college, I had to do the same things. I had to work to support my sister and mother. I worked two jobs though and I still had to attend classes. It got overwhelming as time went by and I wanted to give up so bad. The fact that I was doing this not just for myself but the two people that meant the world to me, kept me going. I became a coffee addict, which is why I hardly drink it now. I never had time for friends and all that..." I pause when I realize that her facial expression spells out that she does not get my point but I continue anyway. She will get it.

"Look at me now. It all paid off and so will yours, just keep going and tell yourself that sleep can never be more important than what you want to achieve. It can never be more important than seeing your kids contented and with food on their table. And you don't have to fight this alone, we are here for you." I try to be a little encouraging, hoping that it will make her feel better. I will always be here for her when she needs me, even if it means that I have to be friend-zoned.

"We?"

"Yes. Mavis, your children and I. Whenever you need me, you can just call me. For anything. And I may look like I am on top of things all the time but that's just a front I put on for everybody. Work gets me down like it does to everyone else, especially because I am managing." She does not say anything in return.

I call the waiter, telling him that we are ready to order. Mmampho orders a small portion of food, and I know she did it so I wouldn't have to spend a lot of money on her. While I order every kind of meat on their menu, I am starving. I ordered the chicken, the turkey, the steak, the ribs and the buffalo wings. Small portions of each and I added fries and jalapeño dip and also the green salad and garlic bread. With extra blue cheese on the green salad. If I don't finish my plate, I will take takeout.

"Exercising gives you energy." I say after the waiter leaves, just to lighten the mood a little.

"Oh no! I am not doing that." There's a laugh. I am good at this making people feel better thing, even though this is my first try.

"You have to. That's the only way to have the energy you need. You don't have to do it everyday, just when you have time. It will increase your concentration span too." Her mouth parts when she realizes that I may be serious.

"Thanks Chris. I will make sure to think about it. Thanks for everything else that you said."

"That I said? Have you been listening to me? I am getting the sense that you haven't."

"I have. I swear." She laughs again and it sounds genuine this time. I did it, I am the reason she feels better.

"And nobody has everything under control. Anybody who says they do, is either lying to themselves, in denial or lying to you. No matter what job you do, making money has never been easy. The easier you get the money, the easier you lose it. Which is why we have to work hard for it. You just have to find a way that works for you, in terms of managing time and all that. It gets better with time, that I can promise you."

"You sound like a therapist." She says.

I order a bottle of champagne, pour for the both of us then stand up to make a toast aloud with the rest of the people in the restaurant joining and they clapped for her. She looks very shy but still loving the attention. She says that she feels a little appreciated for her hard work and she needed the time off and I was happy to help.

We laughed and made jokes the whole night. Seriously, I never thought this would ever happen. I thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives cold to each other. I am glad things are okay between us now.