When the Pen Bleeds

LAST LETTER

Seeing you smile,makes me happy
Seeing you laugh makes me giggle.
Now seeing you cry, makes me sad.
Well let's say that it's okay not to be okay.But still it's better to be okay all the time.
-ATM

That was the first letter I gave to you. The first and I thought would be the last. But nah, I'm wrong. That was just one of the hundred letters.

Actually, I'm not expecting anything from you that time. Like who am I to expect from someone who doesn't know me. I'm just a stranger. A stranger who really admire you so much.

But when I saw you writing on a sheet of paper,my cold sweat started to dripped on my forehead. It was just because I'm nervous. Nervous because I'm assuming that you were writing something...for me.

I quickly went to the place where you left the paper but when I was about to get it, I realized something. That's why even though I really want to open that letter, I just went back to where I was.

'I'm glad you're back. I mean you're back from being the old Dion. The Dion who is always positive and has a bright smile. Just don't forget to spread the good vibes all the time.
-ATM

I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know why I couldn't help myself from writing letters for you.

I said one letter is enough but I couldn't control myself already. I always feel satisfied whenever I saw you reading my messages.

Days had passed and still I'm here, writing so many letters for you. Was I being addicted?

Maybe addicted from you.

'What if we meet each other? Tomorrow 4:00 in the afternoon at the park where you received the first letter I gave you.
-ATM

Am I that fast in making decision? Yeah I know but my mind kept on saying that you must see me.

We must see each other.

The day came and I saw you from a far. Waiting for someone. Waiting for me. My heart kept on beating so fast. Do I have to meet you now?

'Sorry'
-ATM

That was the shortest message you received from me. I'm a coward I know. But I'm just afraid.

Afraid that if you see me,you'll also be one of those people who will push me away from you.

One of those people who will left me without saying anything.

'Should I continue writing for you?'
-ATM

That was the time wherein I'm starting to give up.

But because I heard that you still want to read my messages, that you still want to know me,I just let myself continue.

Days had passed.Weeks had passed. I suddenly realized what I'm doing.

So I stopped. I stopped giving you letters.

My friend came to my house telling that someone left a letter for me and when he read it , it was from you.

Did you really missed me? Or maybe just the letters.

' Okay fine.Let's meet. I will show up. I promise'
-ATM

That short letter took so much time before it was made. Why? Because again, Im scared. I didn't know what to do.

As usual,you're the first one who arrived. Your eyes were shining brightly as if you're really excited to see me.

As if you really want to see me.

"Hi"

That was the first word I said to you personally.

You were shocked. Totally shocked.

Your shining eyes and wide smile awhile ago started to fade.

"You're the one who's giving letters to me? Is this a joke? How come y--"

"Th-this is what I really expect"

I tried to control my emotions but tears won't let me. I ran as fast as I could just to go away from you.

I'm so stupid.

I thought someone would accept me and I thought that someone was you.

But I'm wrong.

Why do I always make wrong decisions? Why do I always keep on believing that someday there's a person who can cherish me, who can appreciate me the way I am.

Why do I always end up falling on a wrong guy? Should I stop being so ridiculous?

I'm not blaming you Dion. In the first place, it was my fault.

Still, thank you because for just a short period of time, I felt that there's someone like you who can appreciate me.

One thing is for sure. This would be the last message that I will give to you.
-Ashan Thereze Mendoza

He heaved a sigh and glanced at me after he finished writing the words that I am dictating.

" May papasulat ka pa ba? Or is this enough?"

"That's enough Tan. That's my last favor for you."

I replied and forced a smile while fixing my gaze to his hands that I'm longing to have since I was a kid.
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WORK OF FICTION
(sorry for grammatical errors)