When the Pen Bleeds

MEMORIES OF YOU

I already told you Lindsay. We will be together until the end, right? No matter what happens." With his low voice, the woman stared at him intently and gently cupped his face. " Thank you for staying with me Andrew. I love you."

The slightly dim ambiance was filled with small noises and claps as if they are too delighted with what they witnessed in the giant screen in front of us.

It was a great movie actually. The lovers faced a lot of struggles but they overcome those hardships through trusting and hanging on their promises that they would still end up loving each other. In short, it was a happy ending.

I took out the handkerchief from my jean's pocket and wiped the tears that streaming down unto my cheeks. I thought it would help me to stop from crying, but it just became worse. Of all handkerchiefs that I have inside my closet, why did I end up bringing this one. Lalo ko lang siyang naaalala.

We almost have the same life from the one that I've watched except that our story ended tragically.

Though it lapsed in an unfortunate way, I still remember the security that I felt whenever I'm with him. I still recall how he overwhelmed me with his unending love.

As well with the promise that he gave me. It still rang on my head every night like a broken alarm clock, making me unable to fell asleep. With his broken oath, I just always found myself releasing the pain buried inside me through silent cries.

I was pulled out from reminiscing our past when a silhoutted figure of man against the bright light emitting by the screen appeared in front of me.

"The movie ended happily but why are you crying as if one of them died?" His deep voice that filled my ear made the butterflies inside my stomach grumbled.

I wiped my tears once more with the hanky and put it back inside my pocket. " I-I just remembered something. Sorry."

Why am I stuttering? I rose from my seat and was about to leave the cinema when the warmth of his palm touched my wrist causing me to stop from walking.

" Saan ka nakatira? I'll drop you there." He then took a glimpse at his watch that was probably wrapped on his left wrist. "Anong oras na din. It would be dangerous to go home alone for an a-attractive woman like you."

My heart thumped unknowingly. The last time I felt like this was when I'm still with the man that I love.

I tried to answer him but no voice came out from my mouth. But the next thing I knew was I'm already sitting beside the front seat while he was driving the car.

I'm still in awe about to what he said a while ago when I realized that he doesn't know yet where I live.

Though he's driving on the right direction going to my condo, I managed to tell to him where I reside.

" O-oh. Buti na lang pala tama yung daan ko." He uttered and flashed a smile without even turning his gaze at me. Ngayon ko lang mas nasulyapan ang itsura niya. He has this chiseled jaw that every woman dream of, a not-so pointed nose and reddish brown hair. I shifted my gaze from the front mirror to observed his eyes that seems filled with longingness from someone.

" Baka naman mabasag yung salamin kakatitig mo sa akin." Mabilis kong inalis ang pagkakatingin sa kaniya at ibinaling ang tingin sa bintana ng kotse niya. Great. That was embarassing.

He chuckled. " I'm just kidding. What a silly lady." My tears welled up when a memory of us suddenly appeared in my mind. Chad always enjoyed teasing me when I was too serious in studying. And as soon as I get upset, he would let out a chuckle and would say that he was just kidding.

I really miss him so much.

"Hey. Are you crying?"  I took a deep breath and forced a smile at him. " W-Who's crying?" I asked back and just shook his head as an answer.

When I noticed that we were about to reach my condo, I told him to stop from driving.

Bababa na sana siya para pagbuksan ako ng pinto pero inunahan ko na siyang gawin pa. I don't know, his presence made myself shiver for an unknown reason.

I started to move my feet going to my place and he did the same.

"May I just ask why did you cry inside the cinema?" A sad smile was formed from my lips. This time, I didn't hesitate to open up with him. From all the things that he did for me tonight, he surely is a man that would do no harm to me.

" N-Naalala ko kasi siya." Tears started to block my eyes for just those words that I uttered. Nanatili lang siyang tahimik na para bang naghihintay ng sunod kong ikekwento.

" Masaya naman kami ni Chad noon eh. You know what, our favorite bonding was watching movies in cinema. Kaya nga nandoon ako kanina pero hindi na kagaya ng dati na siya ang k-kasama. Dahil sa isang iglap bigla niya akong iniwan. And what's more painful? H-hindi niya man lang nagawang sabihin sa akin yung dahilan." The tears that I was holding back a while ago started to flow down which made us stopped under the lightpost outside my condo. I don't care if I'm crying to a man that I met for few hours. Because  right now, only one thing is for sure, the agonizing pain was still the same as before.

I was startled for a few seconds when he hugged me tightly giving me a tingling sensation all over my body. I didn't even let myself escaped from him. This is what I'm craving for a long time. Lalong bumuhos ang mga luha ko. My tears turned into loud sobs while my head was buried to his chest.

How I wish Chad was still beside me drowning me with his sweetness instead of sadness. He should be the one comforting me when I feel like I was about to give up but he became the reason why I'm still stucked with anguish that I can't let go.

But even just for a night, at least I tried to share my own burden to someone rather than letting myself sink into frustration.

" You should not be crying." He mumbled in a cracked voice. "Y-You're the one who broke the promise." I felt a pang in my heart as he said those words. His voice was filled with excruciating pain that he was seemingly carrying for long years. He loosened his grip to my body enabling me to escape from his tight hug.

Our eyes met. He's crying and I am literally clueless about this feeling that I have. Bakit nasasaktan ako na nakikita ang lalaking kakikilala ko pa lang na umiiyak ng ganito sa harapan ko? Why did he tell me that I was the one who broke the promise as if I am the woman he's pertaining.

"A-Ako ang iniwan mo." He said in between of his sobs. "Sobrang sakit na gabi-gabi akong umaasa na babalik ka sa akin. Pero mali ako. Wala na akong pag-asa pa." My heart was torn into pieces. Kahit na hindi ko siya naiintindihan, pinabayaan ko na lang din ang sarili kong umiyak dahil parang mga matatalim na salita ang tumatagos sa puso ko.

"B-Bakit ganon? The memories that we shared together were still vivid for you. Kahit nga yung pangalan ko tanda mo pero bakit yung mismong i-itsura ko hindi mo maalala A-Adrienne." His voice was in deep sorrow. Mas lalo akong naguluhan sa sinabi niya habang patuloy pa ring nag-uunahang kumawala ang mga luha sa mata ko.

Paano niya nalaman ang pangalan ko?

He then fell on his knees while his head stooped down not bothering the tears that continuously dripping unto the ground.

He looks hopeless.

" A-ako yung pinagtabuyan mo ng mga panahong pinapaalala ko sayo kung sino ako A-Adrienne. K-kung ano tayo. Kung gaano natin kamahal ang isa't-isa. How I wish you weren't hit by a dashing car so that we are still together creating endless memories. So that I would still be by your side doing different things such as watching movies every Friday night. Our promise to each other was just left and remained as a promise. P-Pero kahit na ganon ang nangyari, please... please know that I am still the Chad that really loves you in your obscure memories."

WORK OF FICTION
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