When the Pen Bleeds

MY VOCALIST

It is a jam-packed Friday because of today's foundation day. Loud cheers and noises enclosed the whole campus because of different booths and activities that were launched by the student's council.

As I roamed my eyes, you can notice that most of the students and even the faculty were on their ecstatic state. And I can't blame them because this is probably the most awaited event in our school.

I was interrupted from my reverie when the warmth of my friend's hand caressed my shoulder. " Bella, pupunta ka ba mamaya?" Lea asked while we were sitting here in one of the benches. Napagdesisyunan kasi naming magpahinga muna pagkatapos sumali sa mga palaro ng criminology students.

I scratched the back of my head as I tried to find the right answer to her question. " Uhm. Yes, I guess? "

Tradisyon na ring magkaroon ng battle of the bands sa celebration na to. Though it happens at night time, students are still willing to go just to hear their favorite bands and support their classmates.

Lagi rin naman akong pumupunta pero ngayon medyo nag-aalangan ako.

I heard that Lexus will announce to everyone the girl she admires in the campus. He is the vocalist of one of the most well-known band here in our school named Extreme Sound.

Except for his captivating voice that will bring you into different emotions, his mesmerizing eyes, perfect eyebrows, reddish brown hair and pinkish lips will surely make your heart pounds whenever you see him - and that's what happened to me. I let myself fell for this guy even though I'm not sure if he knows that I exist.

Kinakabahan ako kahit hindi naman dapat. I mean, still it would be painful for me.

I glanced at my black wrist-watch as I went out from the taxi. Geez. Mukhang huli na ako.

Pagpasok ko pa lang ng gate, naaninag ko na siya mula sa stage dahil sa ilaw na nakatutok sa kaniya. He's wearing a navy blue polo shirt paired with a black pants and white sneakers but even though his clothes are way too simple, I still find him very attractive.

The whole crowd was silent. Tapos na ata silang magperform at sasabihin na ni Lexus kung sino ang babaeng gusto niya.

Pinili kong magtago na lang sa isang bukas na silid. Sapat nang marinig ko lang ang mga salitang lalabas sa labi niya dahil hindi ko kakayaning makita siyang may kasamang iba.

Tutal, ganito naman talaga ang ginagawa ko. I always distant myself to him because he's too unreachable to an ordinary student like me.

" Hi guys. Everyone's asking me about this girl for so long already." His clarion voice made my heart skipped a beat as I heard him.

Hindi pa nga niya nasasabi kung sino ang babaeng tinitibok ng puso niya ay ramdam ko na ang pangangatog ng mga tuhod ko.

Parang mali na pumunta pa ako dito.

" So I think, it's time for you to know who she is. I first saw her when we performed in this school for the first time. Hindi pa kami ganoong kakilala dito dahil nagsisimula pa nga lang kami ng grupo ko. "

I flashed a smile as I also remembered how I first saw him. Nakasuot lang siya ng simpleng puting tshirt at maong na pantalon noon. Pero nung sinimulan niyang kantahin ang 'Sa Ngalan ng Pag-Ibig', para bang napana na agad ang puso ko habang dinadala ako sa kalangitan dahil sa sobrang ganda ng boses niya.

" Her sweet smile caught my attention from where I was standing that time. Simula rin noon, lagi ko na siyang nakikita sa bawat performance namin and that made me more inspired in singing."

How I wish I was the one he's pertaining. Hindi pa nga nagsisimula ang pagkanta niya, lagi nang lumulundag sa tuwa yung puso ko. Simula sa pinakaunang performance nila, lagi akong nandoon. Masayang nakikinig sa malaanghel niyang boses.

" Para akong nanalo sa lotto nang malaman ko ang pangalan niya. I got to know her name because of those letters that she kept on putting inside my locker.

Tears escaped from my eyes unknowingly but I quickly wiped it off. Come on Bella. What's wrong with you?

I always write letters for him as well. Gusto ko kasing kahit na hindi niya man ako makilala sa personal, alam niyang may ako na humahanga sa kaniya ng sobra.

Hindi ba sapat yung mga ginagawa ko para ako yung mapansin niya? Para ako yung magustuhan niya?

" Mahal ko siya."

Those words were like a sharp knife that directly stabbed my heart which made my tears flooded non-stop this time. This dreary room was filled with silent bawls of mine. I can't take this grief anymore.

Bakit ba kasi pumunta pa ako dito kahit alam kong masasaktan lang naman ako sa malalaman ko?

With my blurry vision and hands covering my mouth, I quickly moved my feet going outside the gate. Ayoko nang marinig pa kung sino ang tinutukoy niya.

" Bella. Her name is Bella."

Bigla akong naestatwa bago pa ako tuluyang makalabas ng campus.

I can hear the defeaning bangs and cheers of the crowd from my back
as my name continuosly echoed in my mind. Unexplainable feeling stirred me up. I felt like I was falling from a never unending sky because of joy knowing that his feelings were the same from me. Gusto niya rin ako. Mahal din ako ni Lexus. Mahal din ako ng lalaking mahal ko.

As I slowly turned my gaze at my back to face him, tears started to flow down from my eyes again.

Bakas sa mukha niya ang galak dahil napakilala niya na ang taong pinakamamahal niya. I still can't believe this is happening. I'm in love with him yet he's in love with Bella- na kapangalan ko.

WORK OF FICTION