When the Pen Bleeds

BEING BEAUTIFUL IS NOT THE ANSWER

" Don't mind them" He mumbled and felt how he tightened his grip to my wrist when we started to pass on the corridor full of students. Though I stooped my head and stare on our black shoes that were brisk walking, I know that their eyes were narrowed and their brows were raised as if they were disgusted with the sight of myself together with my boyfriend.

' Sigurado kaya si Billy na hindi siya ginayuma niyan?'

' Baka naman pinaglalaruan lang 'yan ni Billy.'

' Hindi na siya nahiya na si Billy pa talaga ang ginawa niyang boyfriend.'

Those were just some insults that I heard as we continue. The path that we were taking seems to be forever because of countless affronting to me. I'm used with this routine actually. Having a handsome boyfriend in this campus was one of the impossible things that became possible in my life when I met Billy. That's why I can't blame the others for hating me because I'm totally opposite of my boyfriend. But I'm still a human though. I also get hurt everytime they would throw harsh words as if I can't heard them.

"Are you fine?" I lifted my head and forced a slight smile in order for him to not get worried. We both sat on the vacant chairs inside the cafeteria. As I roamed my eyes, we we were only the students present here because of the fact that it isn't still break time.

He just decided to went outside the room because our classmates were making fun of me again which was usual since I was a kid.

" Kung hindi lang sila babae baka kung ano nang nagawa ko sa kanila." He said to himself and noticed how his jaw clenched. I reached his hand and touched it with mine.

" It's okay Billy. Sanay naman na ako. Saka totoo naman na mukha akong pimples na tinubuan lang ng mukha, na pango ako, na pangit ako at hindi ba -"

" - bagay maging tayo?" He cut me off by completing my unfinished sentence. I bit my lower lip and answered him with a slow nod as I drifted my gaze to one table behind him that was already occupied by group of female students that were whispering to each other and taking a glimpse of us from time to time.

" Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sayo na wala akong paki sa sinasabi nila sayo love? It's my choice to love you and I know that you feel same way towards me. Am I right?" My heart throbbed because of what he said. I know that his feeling was genuine but it was me who can't be contented.

" Yes. B-But you were just saying those words because I-I'm the one who's being insulted. Ako naman yung nilalait B-Billy dahil sa i-itsura ko. And I can't help to start h-hating myself as well because I know that they were just stating the fact straight into my ugly face." Tears started to spill from my eyes as I felt how my heart ached. I don't care if people that were entering the cafeteria started to look at me.

He placed his hand to my face and gently wiped the tears away. " Sapalagay mo ba hindi ako nasasaktan kapag iniinsulto ang girlfried ko Keila? And seeing you crying like that hurts me even more kasi mahal kita." His voice cracked upon stating his answer.

I removed his hand that was still in my face and placed it on the table. Silence fell between the two of us as we let our eyes met with each other. My vision was blurry because of the continuous escape of my tears but I can somehow see that his eyes were already welled up with clear water.

"Mahal din kita Billy but I-I'm sorry." Confusion was etched in his face when I stood up from the chair and started to leave the area.

"W-Why are you saying s-sorry? W-What do you mean? W-We're still not done talking Keila." He stuttered and quickly grabbed my wrist but I jerked it off away from his hand still not looking at him from my behind.